Adultery
by Annna
Summary: Okay this is the actual Adultery series... Monica is having an affair, find out with whom
1. Adultery1

Adultery, Part1  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: A new little idea that I got the other day... Quite different from anything I've done before, so I just hope I can pull this off... Review and let me know... Oh, and don't kill me for the storyline, lol, it's just fiction after all... :)! Anyway, what you need to know is that it's a few years in the future and C&M have a son...  
DISCLAIMER: These characters aren't mine, except for Lukas...  
  
  
  
Monica sighed and closed the door to the house she lived in. She hung off her coat and scarf and placed her hat and gloves on the hat rack. She was cheating on her husband. She had just come from her lover's apartment. Oddly enough she didn't really feel guilty. She pushed her guilt aside. It was the only way she knew of to keep herself from breaking down.  
  
She walked into the kitchen. There he was. Her husband. Chandler. She loved him, she loved him very much. She couldn't even understand it herself, why she had taken a lover.  
  
Chandler looked up at her and smiled, telling her hi. She said it back. He came over and put his arms around her, giving her a few kisses. She smiled lovingly at him, it felt good to be kissed and held by him. Which also made her feel like a hypocrite. She was cheating on a man that she loved and enjoyed being with.  
  
Chandler went back to frying the fish, and Monica went over to the kitchen table, running her hand through Lukas's hair. Lukas was their son, five years old. For some reason they hadn't tried for another baby after Lukas was born, even though Monica wanted another child.  
  
Monica looked at Chandler cooking dinner, while Lukas went back to drawing pictures with his crayons. When she looked at Chandler she knew that it was definitely not HIS fault that she was sleeping with another man. She knew a lot of women, and men too for that matter, put the blame on their spouse, but Monica knew that Chandler wasn't to blame. He gave her everything she'd wanted, love, children, understanding and great sex. He was just as much her soulmate as he had been the day he asked her to marry him. She didn't really think she was any different now from how she had been back then, so she really had no explanation for why she saw another man in secret.  
  
When she looked at Chandler now, her heart filled with love. He was the best man anyone could ever ask for, and he loved her unconditionally. And still there was another man. But Chandler could never find out about it. Never ever. Not ever. Not just because she was afraid of what affects it would have on her, loosing him as a partner. But mainly because of how she knew it would hurt him. He had been commitment fearing, and she didn't want him to know about the fact that his fears were justified. He thought she was all his, and finding out that she was not would tear him apart. She would never let that happen.  
  
The phone rang, and she answered it. It was him.  
  
"You forgot your filofax" he said.  
  
"I did?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well good thing you called me then. I would have freaked out if I'd noticed it was gone."  
  
"Do you want to pick it up tomorrow?"  
  
"No, I'll come by tonight. Otherwise I'll just freak myself out knowing I can't write in it… We're about to have dinner now, but I'll stop by afterwards. Say in an hour?"  
  
"I'll be expecting you."  
  
She hung up. Chandler looked up and gave her one of his cute smiles.  
  
"Forgot something at work, did you?" he said.  
  
"My filofax" Monica answered. She felt thankful that she managed to answer him without lying. She only gave him half an answer to the question, but he interpreted it as that she had forgotten it at work. "So I'm gonna go get it after we've eaten."  
  
"You want me to drive you?" Chandler asked  
  
"Thanks, but maybe you ought to stay at home with Luke…"  
  
Chandler shrugged his shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. She helped him set the table, and then they sat down for dinner.  
  
*  
  
Monica felt the usual knot in her stomach when she knocked on his door. She didn't know if it was nervousness over being caught or nervousness over seeing him.  
  
Joey opened the door, smiling at her and with her filofax in his hand. She felt the nervousness go away and she smiled at him too. She walked inside and closed the door behind her. The next thing she knew she was in his arms, passionately kissing him.  
  
She hadn't planned on anything else than picking up the filofax. But before she knew it Joey was working on her buttons and she herself was working on his zipper. They kissed passionately and then Joey's mouth left hers to find her breasts instead.  
  
She moaned slightly when he took her nipple in his mouth, then she pushed him away. He looked up at her.  
  
"I need to get my diaphragm…" she said. "And you go get a condom."  
  
He nodded. She was always very careful when they slept together. She couldn't take the risk of finding out she was pregnant and not knowing who the father was. They each went off to get their protection, and then they met again on the couch, kissing hungrily.  
  
"Oh Joey yes…" she mumbled when his hand got inside her panties. They quickly got naked and had sex again. For the third time that day. Monica completely forgot about the fact that Chandler probably expected her to be home quickly, since as far as he knew she was only stopping by at work to pick up her filofax. Joey's touch and his kisses made her forget all about anything else than the sex she was having with him.  
  
*  
  
She got home an hour later, for the second time that day coming directly from Joey's apartment. Chandler was in the TV room watching the news, and she sat down next to him.  
  
"What on earth took you so long?" he asked.  
  
"It's a long story" Monica said in a tired tone, signalling that she wasn't really in any mood to talk about it.  
  
"Well you came back just in time for the weather" Chandler said, putting an arm around her.  
  
She leaned her head on his shoulder and felt strange. She had just had sex with his best friend, and now she was spending a normal evening at home with him. She felt almost torn, but then she pushed those kind of thoughts aside. She had to, otherwise she would go insane.  
  
She and Chandler watched "Throw Momma Of The Train" after the news, but Monica wasn't really paying attention. She had seen the movie before and thought that it was silly. Danny DeVito's character was a lunatic and Billy Chrystal's was weird. Chandler seemed amused by it though, and kept the small talk between them going.  
  
After the movie they decided to go upstairs and get to bed. It was around ten in the evening, and they both had to go to work the next day.  
  
Monica followed Chandler up the stairs, and then went to check on Lukas. He was fast asleep, with his Goofy light on. He was afraid of the dark.  
  
When Monica entered the bedroom Chandler was already undressed and in his usual t-shirt and boxers. When he wore anything to bed, it was often boxers and a t-shirt. Monica could feel his eyes on her as she got out of her clothes and pulled one of his old t-shirts over her head. He smiled at her when she walked up to the bed and lay down next to him.  
  
"You look awfully smiley" she said to him, giggling slightly. "Did you swallow a canary?"  
  
"Nope. A peacock."  
  
Monica laughed and turned off her light. He did the same. After a few seconds he moved closer to her and gently kissed her on the cheek. Monica stroke his cheek, absentmindedly. Chandler kissed her again, then he kissed her on the lips. Monica kissed him back and then lay her head back down and closed her eyes.  
  
"Hey Mon…" Chandler said.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Wanna make love?"  
  
Monica came close to sighing but managed to keep it inside. Normally she would never say no to sleeping with him. But after an afternoon of sex with Joey she wasn't in the mood for anything else sexual.  
  
"I don't know…" she said. "I'm kinda' tired and I feel a headache coming…"  
  
She heard Chandler make a disappointed noise, and she opened her eyes to see him give her the puppy look. He leaned in and kissed her again, slowly at first and then with more passion. She knew he was trying to turn her on. She didn't mind being kissed, he was a very good kisser and she could spend hours and hours just kissing him, feeling his tongue in her mouth and her tongue in his. It was something special about kissing Chandler.  
  
Chandler lightly stroke the side of her ribcage while he kissed her, and leaned more of his weight over on her. She lightly stroke his back and enjoyed the kisses. She didn't want him to stop, especially not to have sex. She was still in no mood for sex. She had already had sex four times this day and it had all been for pleasure, not for closeness and expression of love. That kind of sex was always more mentally exhausting for Monica. She knew that Chandler hadn't had any sex yet that day, so she could understand that he was horny. But she wasn't.  
  
"Oh Chandler I love your kisses…" she whispered in his ear when they broke the kiss. She nibbled on his earlobe and then kissed him again.  
  
"Then let me kiss you all over…" he whispered. "Let me give you more pleasure than just this…"  
  
Monica finally caved and pulled her t-shirt off. Chandler rewarded her with a loving smile and he pulled her closer as soon as her t-shirt hit the floor. He kissed her again, softly and tenderly, just like he knew she loved to be kissed. He then kissed her in the corner of her moth and then started to place kisses further and further down. He reached her breasts and spent about ten minutes there, touching one and kissing the other.  
  
Monica had to admit that even if she wasn't very turned on it did feel good. His tongue was licking one of her breasts and his hand was caressing the other. She started to get more turned on, and he started to place kisses further and further down again, while letting his hand slide into her panties. She gasped and then noticed that he had stopped kissing her. And his hands were still.  
  
"Monica?" he said. "Where did you get this from?"  
  
She raised herself up on her elbows to be able to see. He was looking at a hickey on her left breast that he hadn't noticed while he was kissing it. He looked up at her with a worried expression on his face.  
  
"What do you mean?" she said with a frown.  
  
"The hickey, Mon. Where did you get it from?"  
  
"You" Monica suggested.  
  
"It wasn't there the last time we had sex, Monica."  
  
"Well in that case you must have just given it to me."  
  
"I haven't given you a hickey today. What IS this, Monica?"  
  
"It's a hickey!" Monica stated. "Don't blame me if you can't remember it being there! You must have given me it the last time we were together, how else do you explain it?"  
  
"I guess you're right…" he mumbled.  
  
Monica sighed and pushed him off her.  
  
"I'm really not in the mood anymore" she said with another sigh.  
  
"What is the matter with you today?" Chandler asked. "Are you getting a cold?"  
  
"Maybe…" Monica said. "Look, wake me up tomorrow morning and we can have sex then. Right now I am not in the mood."  
  
Chandler looked at her as she closed her eyes and turned on her side. He looked at her face, the face he loved so much, and further down to her exposed breasts that she hadn't yet covered up with the covers. He was still turned on, but it was obvious that she was unwilling to have sex right now.  
  
'If only I'd kept my big mouth shut…' he though with a large sigh. He kept looking at her. "Are you too tired to talk?" he asked.  
  
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked. "If it's any form of deep discussion you might wanna put it off."  
  
"I'm just… I'm worried about you."  
  
"Worried about me?"  
  
"Yes. You were fine before you left to get your filofax, you've been quiet and kinda' moody ever since you got back. And you took awfully long. Did something happen?"  
  
"No" she lied.  
  
"I can spot a lie when hear one."  
  
'No honey you can't…' she thought. 'If you could then you would know already. Know that Joey and I are having sex.'  
  
"Monica?" Chandler said. "Listen, you don't have to tell me, but you don't have to lie to me either."  
  
Monica started to cry. She felt like she had been through an emotional storm, and her beloved Chandler was now telling her not to lie to him. She hated herself for lying to him and she hated herself for sleeping with someone else. And right now she was so exhausted that she got emotional.  
  
"Chandler please just let it be…" she sobbed.  
  
She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the look that she knew Chandler had on his face. He leaned in and hugged her lovingly, softly caressing her back.  
  
"I love you…" he whispered. "I'm sorry I made you cry."  
  
"Not your fault" she said through her tears. "But you just make me so full of emotion that sometimes I just cross a line… and start to cry."  
  
"Hey, no pressure…" he assured her. "I was wondering because I care. And I wanted to know if I could help you with anything. You don't have to feel like you have to tell me everything, I understand if you want to just keep some things to yourself."  
  
"Chandler what are you doing with a woman like me?" she asked him, still crying. "You deserve the best woman out there. Not someone like me."  
  
"I deserve you. I love you. I need you. Maybe to other men some other woman is the best woman, but to me you are."  
  
Monica hated herself even more. He was so loving and so understanding. And she was secretly breaking all of his trust. And she knew that if her affair with Joey ever got out, he would be made a public fool. Having your wife cheat on you with your best friend without you knowing anything or even suspecting it would really be something people would make fun of.  
  
Monica closed her eyes. She knew she had to come to some sort of decision. She had to see Joey again and try to figure out what she was really doing with him. Why she was really having sex with him. If the problem was with her, or if there was something about Joey that made her attracted beyond her own control. And she had to figure out what to do about it.  
  
She knew it wasn't worth loosing Chandler over. She wouldn't want to loose Chandler for anything, and she couldn't think of anything that would be worth it. But she had to know if the affair filled any real purpose in her life. If she perhaps needed it. Maybe she needed some unattached sex to get away from the burden of being a wife and mother. Maybe she needed it to feel alive, or maybe she just needed it because she needed to feel that she was attractive to someone else than her husband. And that someone else than her husband could think she was a great lover. And that someone else than her husband could give her pleasure. Some sort of identity crisis thing, a sense of insecurity.  
  
She knew that she was trying to both eat the cake and still have it. She had her husband and she had Joey. She had the security of a marriage and she had the freedom of a sexual affair. But then again, the security of a marriage wasn't so secure after all. Chandler wasn't one bit secure in his marriage, even though he had no idea. He had no idea he was the rival of his best friend.  
  
Monica kissed Chandler on the cheek. Chandler was there with her, happy and content. Joey was alone in his bed, knowing that she was with Chandler. Probably wondering weather or not she was sleeping with him. She wondered if Joey was jealous. She hoped not. She felt terrible knowing that after their encounters she returned to her nice family life with her loving and devoted husband, while he returned to his single life without anyone there 24/7 to love and care for him.  
  
  
Okay, so this was part one of I don't know how many... that's up for discussion, lol. Tell me if you like it or not.  



	2. Adultery2

Adultery, Part2  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: Continuation of Adultery part 1 (now there's a no-brainer)... Read and review, please!  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the "Friends" characters, just the other ones.  
  
  
Monica was beginning to feel more and more torn. She loved Chandler more than anything and she wanted to spend time with him, yet at the same time she wanted to get to see Joey. She started to feel slightly disgusted with herself, because these days it seemed as if her life was just about sex, sex and more sex. Sex with Chandler in the morning, sex with Joey after work, then sex with Chandler in the evening. She mostly enjoyed it while it was going on, but afterwards she would feel terrible. She started refusing Chandler in the mornings, claiming she wanted more time to sleep in on. But then sometimes when she had been with Joey she would be to exhausted to have sex with Chandler in the evening. Or just unwilling to.  
  
Chandler didn't know what the problem was. He too was starting to feel bad about himself. Monica didn't want sex in the mornings anymore, he respected that. But sometimes she didn't want sex in the evenings either. And those nights were always the nights when she worked late and got home later than usual. But it couldn't just be work. She had never been too tired to sleep with him just because of work before. So Chandler took it as that she didn't want to have sex with him too often anymore. That either her sexdrive had gone down, or that she wasn't attracted to him anymore. But when she wasn't too tired, when she was in the mood, she was just as willing as before. Chandler started asking her if she wanted to try new things in bed. He hoped that would keep her interest up. Monica soon told him she had had enough of new things for a while though, and Chandler was hurt even though he said nothing. He didn't want to let it show, but he felt like a failure. He knew something was wrong, and he thought he was the problem. He figured that he had done or said something that made Monica unwilling to sleep with him. Or that she didn't enjoy sleeping with him. And he didn't want to lay a burden on her, so he stopped asking her for sex. He only did around once a week, when he couldn't control himself any longer.  
  
Monica noticed the difference. All of a sudden Chandler stopped initiating sex, and the times he did initiate it there was something wrong. She couldn't put her finger to what it was, but he seemed either guilty or like he only slept with her because he felt that it was his duty. Monica didn't like the situation and decided to do something about it.  
  
She hadn't yet talked to Joey or figured out what their affair meant to her. She had deliberately put it off because she enjoyed sleeping with him. And she knew that if she thought the whole thing through she might come to the conclusion that she should end their affair right away. And she deep down inside didn't want that. But now she was having a problem with Chandler, and he came in first hand. Joey would have to come in second always, and right now she didn't have time for him. She talked to him the next time she saw him, and explained that they wouldn't see each other for a while.  
  
When she got home, Chandler was watching cartoons with Lukas. He looked up at her and smiled when she entered the TV room, but she could see a sad and hurt look on his face even though he tried to hide it. Monica suddenly felt scared. What if he knew?  
  
She sat down next to him and kissed him on the lips. She had first thought about making him a nice dinner and talking to him about what was going on over candle lights, but then she had changed her mind. She had a better idea, and she waited until after they'd gone to bed to tell him.  
  
*  
  
She let her head rest in her right palm, lying on her side, looking down at him with a smile on her face. It wasn't a big smile, more of a content one. She gently stroke him over the chest and waited until he looked up at her and then away again.  
  
"So I was thinking…" she said. "You haven't been yourself lately, really. And neither have I. I was thinking that maybe we both need some time off."  
  
Chandler didn't look at her. He was sure what she meant. She was talking about a break.  
  
"Chandler I was thinking… Why don't we go away, you and I?"  
  
Chandler looked up at her, slightly confused.  
  
"Go away together?"  
  
"Yeah. To a motel or something. Somewhere where we can relax and…" she grinned, "rekindle our flame…"  
  
"You wanna do that?" he asked, slightly surprised.  
  
"Oh yeah, I got the idea in my head earlier today and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it… Just you and me, we can leave Lukas with Rachel and Nigel."  
  
"Sure. They'd probably baby-sit."  
  
Monica's smile widened.  
  
"And we could have romantic dinners… long talks about everything and nothing… Not to mention spending most of the time in bed."  
  
Chandler sighed slightly. He didn't want her to feel pressured to have to do something like that. He was convinced that she wasn't really interested in sleeping with him anymore.  
  
"Monica you don't have to do this…" he said.  
  
She got a confused look on her face.  
  
"Do what, exactly? Go away with my husband?"  
  
"Don't feel like you have to!" Chandler said, trying to make her understand where he was coming from without saying anything directly.  
  
"Really honey. Calm down. You don't have to be so enthused" Monica replied with her voice filled with sarcasm. She lay back down and stared at the ceiling.  
  
"Monica--"  
  
"What?" she replied, snapping at him.  
  
Chandler looked at her, slightly shocked. He had obviously hit a tender area by saying they didn't have to go away together. He felt slightly annoyed.  
  
"What is wrong with you?" he asked. "What, am I not allowed to not want to go away? If that is the case, then why even bring it up as a QUESTION?"  
  
"It's not about that" Monica hissed at him. "But how about telling me you don't want to go in a better way? You could have blamed it on work, for crying out loud, or just said that you're not up for it. Don't give me some sort of 'you don't have to do this' crap, just tell me straight out that you're not interested in going!"  
  
"Calm down!"  
  
"Okay then here's the deal. I calm down and you let me be."  
  
"And I'm sorry for having an opinion" Chandler said sarcastically. "Since when are you so edgy?"  
  
"Since you lost your sense of TACT!"  
  
"What's the matter, are you pms?"  
  
Monica made an offended exhale and got out of bed. She walked to the bathroom connected to their bedroom and closed the door hard. Chandler frowned and wondered what was up, really.  
  
*  
  
That Friday Chandler got home a little later than usual. Monica was in the kitchen with Lukas, cooking him dinner. She didn't seem to be on a very good mood, and his hello was only returned by a slight nod of acknowledgment.  
  
"What's for dinner?" he asked.  
  
"Pasta. And some sauce" Monica replied, not looking up at him. She finished the cooking and put a plate in front of Lukas.  
  
"What about us?" Chandler asked.  
  
"If you're hungry you can have a sandwich" Monica replied. "It's only five o'clock."  
  
"Sandwich?" Chandler said. "I never have sandwiches. You know I'm not too fond of them."  
  
"Then eat some cereal. The Cornflakes need to be finished soon anyway."  
  
She walked past him and went up the stairs. Chandler looked at Lukas, still confused.  
  
"So what did you do to piss her off?" Lukas asked.  
  
"Nothing" Chandler replied. "What did you do to learn phrases like that? You shouldn't use them."  
  
*  
  
Five minutes later Monica came down the stairs again, with a bag. Chandler stared at her and felt really uncomfortable.  
  
"Monica what are you doing with a bag?" he asked.  
  
"What do you think I'm doing with a bag?" she replied. "I'm going away to that motel. Just because you're not interested it doesn't mean I can't go."  
  
"Monica I think you should stay."  
  
"Chandler I think you should say nothing."  
  
"Mon, I'm serious" Chandler said, and leaned his side against the wall. "There's something weird going on between us right now. I think you should stay so we can talk it through."  
  
"No, not right now."  
  
"And why the hell not?"  
  
"Don't sweat when Lukas is in the next room" Monica said. "Who do you think he's picked swear words up from?"  
  
"Don't avoid my questions, Monica."  
  
Monica put her jacket on.  
  
"I already tried to get us to talk. I suggested it. I suggested that we would go away where we could be by ourselves and just talk everything through. But that suggestion didn't suit kind sir here."  
  
"Honey…" Chandler said. "Listen, this is really killing me. I hate it when we're on bad terms with each other. And I am so sorry for hurting your feelings. But that is not reason for you to go off and get even more mad until you end up too mad to ever want to talk to me."  
  
"Maybe I need some distance, did you ever think of that?" Monica asked while she tied her shoelaces.  
  
"Then why suggest that we would go away together?"  
  
"Maybe because I thought we could talk things through without getting distance first. And maybe I really need to not see you now. I'm hurt that you didn't want to spend a weekend away with me, did that ever occur to you?"  
  
"Monica, come on…" Chandler said. "Don't leave. You know I don't like being apart."  
  
"I asked you to come with, didn't I?" Monica coldly said and grabbed her mittens. "Suit yourself. You weren't interested then, don't think I'll stay now just because you don't want to be alone."  
  
"Monica, please!" Chandler said with a sad voice. "Please just take the coat, the shoes and the mittens off… Please don't go. I love you, and let's talk this through before--"  
  
"Bye Lukas!" Monica called out, cutting Chandler off. Then she placed a kiss on Chandler's cheek, grabbed her earmuffs and her bag and opened the door. "I'll be back on Sunday. The number for where you can reach me is on the fridge."  
  
Then she left.  
  
*  
  
Joey felt awkward. Here he was, listening to his best friend's love problems. A best friend who was married to the woman Joey was sleeping with.  
  
Chandler was biting the nails on his right hand, trying to figure out how to solve the situation with Monica until it got too deep. He had called Joey and asked for him to come over and talk, because Joey was usually good at helping him solve his problems. He didn't even notice that Joey didn't really act as normal. He told him about the last week's events.  
  
"Chandler…" Joey said with a sigh. "Don't bite your nails."  
  
Chandler didn't reply, but he stopped the nail biting. After a minute he looked up at Joey.  
  
"What am I going to do?" he asked. "Joey what if this turns into something really big between us? What if I loose her? What will I do if I loose her?"  
  
"You're not gonna loose her, Monica is crazy about you" Joey said.  
  
Joey felt jealous. And he really thought Chandler was stupid. If Monica had wanted to go away with Joey, he would have agreed in a second. He loved being around her, not just to have sex. Her company was pleasant and she was so easy to talk to. It didn't occur to Joey that he was falling in love. He knew that he wasn't allowed to like her that way. And here he was, trying to give her husband love advice.  
  
Joey was torn between two options. One was being a good friend and telling Chandler to go to wherever Monica was and try to solve it. Talk through all the misunderstandings and then make up and be happy. The other option was to keep quiet. Joey knew that if Chandler went to find her and no further mistakes occurred, Chandler and Monica would end up spending the weekend in bed together, making love. And that felt hard for Joey, knowing that Chandler was getting what Joey wanted. Eventually the first option won. Joey had always put friendship before love, and he didn't intend to change at this state. He had already risked his friendship with Chandler way too much.  
  
"Chandler," he said, "why don't you just go over to that motel and talk to her? Sort out all of the mistakes and misunderstandings, have some fun with her. Make her feel like you really care. I know that you do. So show that to her. I really think she needs that. I'll baby-sit Lukas, you go talk to your wife."  
  
Chandler looked up at Joey with a slight smile on his face.  
  
"That's a good idea… Thanks, man."  
  
*  
  
Monica put her diary away and sighed heavily. It wasn't fun being away by herself. She felt lonely. She really wished Chandler had agreed to go with her. She couldn't for her life figure out why he had said no. Did he know about her and Joey? But if he did, why had he asked her to stay home? Had she done or said something that had upset him earlier?  
  
"Monica, you are not being nice to that man…" she mumbled to herself. "Treating him as if he's done something wrong… YOU'RE the one doing something wrong. He's not. Why do I take it out on him? And why am I talking out loud to myself? I'm not in Sunset Beach."  
  
She got up from her chair and decided to go for a long walk to clear her head. Hopefully the sense of loneliness and depression would go away. And hopefully one thing would go away. And that one thing was the fact that she missed Joey. Not much, but she had thought about him a few times already. She missed his company. And that made her feel even worse, since she only really wanted to miss Chandler. Chandler was the one she cared about, after all. Not that she didn't care about Joey, but he could never compete with Chandler.  
  
Someone knocked on the door. She answered and saw Chandler on the other side, looking slightly awkward and with a bag in his hand.  
  
"Too late to change my mind and join you?" he asked.  
  
Monica smiled happily and opened the door wider. He entered and put his bag down, looking around. Monica closed the door and when Chandler turned to look at her she walked into his arms and kissed him lovingly.  
  
"Honey you are more than welcome…" she said and kissed him again.  
  
"Thank you…" Chandler said. "I wasn't sure you'd let me come in…"  
  
"Hey, my casa is your casa…" Monica replied and stroke his cheek. "Wherever I am, you will always be welcome."  
  
"Thank you" he whispered, and kissed her lovingly again.  
  
*  
  
An hour later they were resting together after making love. It had been more relaxed and lustful than it had been between them for a few weeks now, and they were both very content. Chandler gathered his courage and asked her why she had been so uninterested in sex lately.  
  
Monica looked up at him with a confused face and then she giggled.  
  
"You'll probably not believe me, but I was about to ask you the same question."  
  
"I just figured you wanted to be left alone…"  
  
"I've been quite tired lately" Monica said, stroking his chest. "And stressed. That has affect on your lust, and it ain't positive. I haven't always been in the mood… It has nothing to do with you, I hope you know that. But then you all of a sudden stopped initiating sex. And I for some reason didn't dare to initiate it myself, because, well… You've always been the one who's mostly initiated it. And now that you stopped doing that I guess I figured you wanted to be… left alone. Pretty much like you thought I wanted to be."  
  
Chandler smiled.  
  
"Well then we've sorted that out" he said. "So here's my idea. What do you say that tonight we stay in bed and talk and have sex. And tomorrow we can go out and do something fun, and then return to bed… And spend Sunday in bed as well, until we've gotta leave. It's been over two years since we spent an entire day in bed."  
  
"True…" Monica said with a smile and kissed him again. "Chandler I am so glad you came. I'm so glad you took the first step. I hate it when we fight."  
  
"Not as much as I do" Chandler whispered, and kissed her harder.  
  
  
Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know which, and if I should continue... I'm continuing it either way, but I'm not sure I'm gonna post the rest here...  



	3. Adultery3

Adultery, Part3  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: The 3rd part in this series so far... I would just like to point out that I am aware of the fact that it seems a bit unrealistic that Monica and Joey would have an affair... But later in the series I'm going to explain how they started it in the first place. Maybe it will make more sense then... :-)  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters do not belong to me.  
  
  
Monica straddled Joey and pulled his shirt off. She still hadn't given any thought to weather or not she needed this affair really, or if she could just break it off. She enjoyed it too much to want to think about it rationally. But she felt torn. It was still hard to have the time and lust to have active sexlifes with two men. She and Chandler had sex almost every day, and these days she was afraid of tiring herself out with Joey so that she didn't have any lust to sleep with Chandler later. So instead she didn't see Joey as often.  
  
She kissed him over and over, and thought of how different his kisses were from Chandler's. Joey was really a good kisser, but unlike Chandler he seemed to do it mostly on routine. She quickly dismissed the thought. She didn't want to think about Chandler while she had sex with Joey.  
  
Joey pulled her t-shirt off and unclasped her bra. Monica responded by starting to work on his zipper. She had her part of the protection covered, now he needed his. She reached into his pocked and after a while of searching found a condom.  
  
Joey nibbled her earlobe and then pulled his pants off. She hadn't been by for over a week, and he had longed for her. He had never realized how easy it was to get addicted to her presence, but now he knew why Chandler had been so eager to keep up his secret relationship with her so many years ago. There was just something about her that made you need her. He began kissing her neck while he caressed her back.  
  
Monica glanced at the clock on the wall.  
  
"Joey we're gonna have to hurry up" she said.  
  
"Huh?" she heard him mumble.  
  
"Joey. I've only got fifteen more minutes before I have to get home."  
  
Joey sighed and stopped kissing her neck. He stopped caressing her and he got an annoyed look on his face.  
  
"What?" Monica asked.  
  
"Damn it Monica, you haven't been around for over a week. And now you're telling me you've gotta go in just fifteen minutes? I mean, you just got here!"  
  
"Well I told Chandler I would be back before five!"  
  
"Chandler this and Chandler that…" Joey said. He pushed her off him. "Why are you even thinking of him right now? I feel so low knowing that he is my best friend and you are married to him, yet I am having sex with you. Why bring him up when we're together? Keep him out of this, please."  
  
"Oh for crying out loud, it's not like I said 'do that thing that Chandler does' or anything!" Monica replied. "What, do you want me to stay for longer and have Chandler end up suspecting something? Do you want him to find out about us?"  
  
"Of course not!"  
  
"Well good, because no matter what happens, Chandler is NEVER going to get to know anything! Is that clear? This is going to crush him if he finds out!"  
  
"Why are you saying that as an accusation towards ME?" Joey asked, defensive. "You're just as much a part of this as I am!"  
  
"I know that I am. And believe me, it's hard for me too! How do you think I feel when I get home at night and see all the love he has for me shining in his eyes? How do you think I feel when he worries about me and takes care of me the times when I leave your apartment and get home all exhausted? I feel like a major hypocrite, Joey! I NEVER, EVER thought I could cheat on Chandler! And it would drive me insane if he cheated, I would be so devastated that I don't know if I could handle it! Don't you realize why it is so important that Chandler NEVER finds out?"  
  
"What, do you think *I* want him to know about us? The man is my best friend! My best friend Monica, and I am betraying him in the worst possible way! If he got to know about this affair then I would loose his friendship and his respect, FOREVER! I would probably deserve to loose it all, just look at how I've shown respect towards HIM! By wrecking his marriage without him even knowing it himself!"  
  
"Joey no matter how much you've got to loose, I've got at least ten times more. He is my best friend too. And I LOVE him. I love him so much that I can't find any rime or reason to why I'm being unfaithful to him, to tell you the truth Joey I don't NEED this! I do not need our affair. Chandler gives me everything I could ever need or ask for."  
  
"Then why the hell are you with me?" Joey asked. "What is your reason for risking that we both loose him? I don't think he could ever forgive us something like this…"  
  
"Joey that's the worst part of it all…" Monica said, and felt how a tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it off. "I honestly don't know if he could forgive you. But I know that there is a chance, a good one even, that he would forgive ME." More tears fell and she gave up and started crying. "And God I feel like… I feel so horrible, I feel like I'm just taking advantage of his kindness, his good heart! I feel like I'm using him or something, that I think I can treat him any way I want to, do whatever I feel like, and then just come back and have everything I jeopardized. And that is truly the worst part of it all…"  
  
Joey sighed again and pulled his pants back on. He wasn't in the mood any longer. He pulled his shirt back on and handed Monica her bra. He put an arm around her as she put it back on, shivering slightly from her sobs and her light dressing.  
  
"Mon, easy now, don't cry…" he said. She leaned her head against his shoulder. "What are we going to do, Monica? What are we going to do?"  
  
*  
  
Monica got home fifteen minutes later, feeling very sad. She and Joey had decided to break up. Neither of them felt that it was worth it, so they might as well end it. Monica felt a little relieved, but at the same time she felt depressed. She knew that things would never be the same again. Her relationship with Chandler would always be different, even if Chandler didn't realize it. She had all of her guilt to carry as well as the knowledge that she had done something so terrible that not even Chandler was sure to forgive her for it if he found out.  
  
She found him in the living room, where he was reading the sports on the couch. The sight of him cheered her up a bit, but it could never take away the terrible guilt she felt over being sad that things were over with Joey. She hated herself deeply for it, just like Chandler probably would if he found out about it.  
  
"Hi Chandler" she said.  
  
He looked up and gave her a slight smile.  
  
"Hi there. You're five minutes early. New record."  
  
That comment didn't cheer Monica up. It only reminded her of how she had neglected him.  
  
"Where is Lukas?" she asked.  
  
"Next door. The neighbours bought their kid some video game for his birthday, and Lukas generously volunteered to try it out" Chandler told her, with a grin. "You look a little low, though. Come here," he continued, patting on the couch next to him, "come talk about your worries with Uncle Chandler…"  
  
Monica walked over and sat down next to him. She felt numb inside.  
  
"So…" Chandler said and put his arm around her. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It doesn't matter" Monica said. "I'm kinda hungry though. You haven't eaten yet, have you?"  
  
"Without you? Of course not!"  
  
Monica rose and went into the kitchen. Chandler followed shortly after and helped her set the table and cook dinner. They sat down and ate, and Chandler told her about his day that had been pretty much as usual. Monica didn't say much, he could tell she was upset about something.  
  
After dinner he told her he would do the dishes, and she gladly let him. He finished the dishes and then went to the living room where he knew he could find her. She was looking at one of the paintings on the wall, that represented a story from Greek mythology, where Hera got jealous after Zeus made Semele pregnant, and so she killed her.  
  
"You like that picture?" Chandler asked, just to have something to say.  
  
"It's a timeless theme, I guess… Adultery…" Monica replied, deep in thought.  
  
"Honey?" Chandler said. She turned around. "Come here for a second."  
  
She slowly walked up to him. He took her in his arms and pulled her close for a hug. Monica knew what he was trying to do, he was trying to comfort her and cheer her up, and that made her finally start to cry. At the moment she had been most sad about breaking it off with Joey, and Chandler had hugged her to try and make her feel better. That brought on the guilt again and she couldn't help but crying. It was all just too much.  
  
"Oh honey…" Chandler said. "I am sorry… I don't want you to feel this way. So sad that you start to cry…"  
  
He held her for a minute, and then broke them embrace. He led her to the couch and sat down with her. He pulled her close and let her cry.  
  
"My little sweetheart… It makes me so sad to see you crying…" he mumbled in her hair. She said nothing, she just sobbed. "What is wrong, honey?" he asked gently. "Is there anything I can do to help you out and make you feel better?"  
  
"I'm just so stressed out right now…" Monica sobbed. It was the truth, but not the entire truth. She didn't mention what the cause of her stress was.  
  
"Well then cry" Chandler said. "I think you need it. Just have a good cry and you'll feel much better afterwards."  
  
Monica nodded. She reached up her left hand and put it around his neck, burying her head by his neck on the other side.  
  
"Chandler…" she whispered, "what would I ever do without you? Honey I love you so much…"  
  
"I love you too" Chandler said and kissed the top of her head. "Even when I'm mad at you I love you more than you will ever know."  
  
"I know what you mean…" Monica whispered. "Because I feel the exact same way. I will love you no matter what you do."  
  
"Ditto."  
  
"Are you really sure about that?" Monica asked, and shivered slightly. "I mean, what if I… cheated?"  
  
"I know you would never do that" Chandler answered and giggled slightly. Apparently he found the thought of it amusing, that anyone would ever say she was cheating on him.  
  
"How do you know?" Monica asked in a whisper. "Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do… And if I did cheat, would you still love me?"  
  
"Sweetheart, you must be feeling so insecure" Chandler remarked. "It's been years since the last time you needed affirmation in that way."  
  
"Just answer me… Please, Chandler" she said, and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"I don't know…" Chandler honestly said. "I would love you, yes. I would never stop loving you. But I'm getting the feeling that what you really want to know is weather or not I would leave you."  
  
"Never mind, it doesn't matter" Monica said, and tried to dry her tears. She realised that she didn't want to know weather or not he would leave her. If he said that he would, she would feel horrible knowing that she was married to him on borrowed time. And as soon as he found out, if he ever did, that time would be up. But she would never be able to feel calm and secure with him if she knew he would leave her if he found out about her affair with Joey. And if he said he wouldn't leave her she would just feel as if she was using him, using his devotion.  
  
"Well what about you, Mon?" Chandler asked her. "If I ever slept with someone else, would you be able to still love me and stay with me?"  
  
"Nothing you can do is going to make me stop loving you" Monica said. "And I couldn't leave you. Even if you cheated."  
  
She didn't tell him that she knew she could never leave him if he did cheat, because she owed him to stay with him. And she knew she would want to. A life without him was more than she could bare, and she was going to make sure she never got to experience loosing him.  
  
She fell even more in love with him when he lovingly kissed her on the lips, and said he wanted to comfort her. She finally stopped crying and she realized that she really wanted some comfort.  
  
She slid down to the floor and unzipped his pants. She saw a grin on his face and felt his hand stroke her head. She took him in her mouth and felt comforted by it. It was nice and familiar, and his low moans of pleasure comforted her even more. She knew for sure that this was way better than anything she could ever experience together with Joey. A love like this only came once in a lifetime, and with hers and Chandler's love came a connection, a bond that was stronger and more real than what most people ever experienced. And then it didn't even matter if they both were to take lovers at some point. They would still have that bond between them, and they would only be able to find this emotion in each other.  
  
*  
  
Monica stared blankly at the ceiling, not uttering a word. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't comprehend that it had happened. She had only gone over there to pick up her cardigan that she had left there. And now she was in bed next to him.  
  
Joey said nothing either, just as unable to believe it as Monica. It was just like the first times they had slept together. He felt bad about it. She was still Chandler's wife and all the reasons they had to call it quits were still there. He knew he had been the driving force that had made this happen again. But he couldn't help himself. He didn't even know it himself, but he was in love with her. He knew she didn't feel it back, but he couldn't help it.  
  
"So…" Monica finally said. "Where do we go from here? What now?"  
  
"I don't know" Joey said with a sigh. "I really don't. KEEP this up or GIVE this up?"  
  
Monica turned her head and looked at him.  
  
"Nothing has changed, Joey. You know that, don't you?"  
  
"Yes…" Joey sighed. "I know."  
  
*  
  
One week later Monica called home and told Chandler she would be home late from work. At six o'clock Chandler got a phone call that his mother had been in a car accident earlier that evening, just when she'd gotten to New York. Chandler hadn't even known she was coming to New York.  
  
He called Monica at work to tell her to get home as soon as she could, or to meet him and Lukas at the hospital. But when he called he found out Monica wasn't there. She had left an hour earlier. Chandler frowned and wondered what was up. When she didn't show up at seven either he started to feel very scared. He started to wonder if something had happened to her too.  
  
Lukas eyed him as he paced back and forth between the front door and the kitchen. Finally Chandler told him to get his coat, they were going ahead to the hospital. Chandler left Monica a note and hoped she would show up at the hospital. He was worried sick about her, even more worried than he was about his mother.  
  
*  
  
Half past eight Monica came hurrying in to the waiting room at the hospital. Chandler looked up and felt relieved that she was there. She looked stressed out and slightly shocked. She gave Lukas a kiss on the forehead and Chandler a kiss on the mouth before she sat down next to him.  
  
Chandler wanted to ask her where she had been, but he kept quiet. He didn't say a word for over an hour, until Rachel and her husband Nigel showed up. Monica had called them and asked them to come and take Lukas home with them. They were obviously going to be at the hospital for several more hours, and Lukas needed to get some sleep.  
  
Chandler and Rachel talked for a few minutes while Monica helped Lukas on with his coat. When Rachel took Lukas's hand and left with him and Nigel, Chandler walked up to Monica.  
  
"I tried to reach you when I found out she had been in the accident" he said.  
  
"I figured" Monica said with a nod.  
  
"I called your work, they said you weren't there. That you left around five. But you didn't show up here until after eight! Where the hell WERE you, Monica?"  
  
Monica saw the worried look on his face. She sadly smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Honey I was at Joey's."  
  
"Joey's? What the heck were you doing THERE?"  
  
"Well he's my friend, isn't he? Can't I hang out with him?"  
  
Chandler looked sceptic. He obviously didn't believe her. Monica got slightly upset.  
  
"Hey, listen, you can just call him up and ASK him, okay?" she said, her voice trembled slightly.  
  
"No, I don't need to do that, I'm sorry…" Chandler said and hugged her. "I'm so sorry, it's just the sudden stress of finding out that Mom has been in an accident, that's all…"  
  
"I understand" Monica whispered.  
  
Chandler looked at her when they sat down again. He thanked his lucky star that he had her. She had been late home, but she was there now. She was with him at the hospital when he needed her to. She was calm and composed and she listened when he needed to talk. Sometimes she talked herself. She also did the talking with the doctors, and she went and got him coffee when she thought he needed it. She was everything he had hoped his future wife would be when he was young, and he loved her very much for it. He knew she was there for him, and that she would never leave him.  
  
When the doctors came and told them they could see Chandler's mother she followed him to her room and stood quietly in the doorway when he quietly talked to his mother. She knew he wanted her to be there, but she sensed that he also wanted some privacy. She took off for a minute and returned with two nurses helping her to move a small couch to the room that had been standing empty in the waiting room. She then sat down on it, and waited for Chandler to finish talking to his mother, who was still unconscious. Then she gestured that he should come over to her. She told him to lay down on the couch and he did, falling asleep with his head in her lap. She slowly stroke his head and let her mind wander for a while. Then she fell asleep as well.  
  
  
Please review. Even if you didn't like it. If you didn't like it then please tell me why, I love constructive criticism!  



	4. Adultery4

Adultery, Part4  
  
  
INTRODUCTIONS: The 4th part in this series. It's a little different from the previous parts, and it might seem out of place, but the storyline in this part continues in the next part, and it becomes a little more clear what it has to do with the adultery plot then...  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters belong to Bright, Kauffman and Crane, and not to me.  
  
  
  
Chandler's mother was fully recovered a few weeks later. It hadn't been as serious as everyone had expected at first, and she had had a quick recovery.  
  
Monica was still seeing Joey, but in a different way this time around. They met twice a week and only for an hour and a half each time. Monica was very scared that Chandler would become suspicious, and Joey was just as scared as she was. They knew they had been very lucky to manage to keep it from everyone for so long, but they also knew that sooner or later that luck would run out.  
  
*  
  
Monica came home from work one day and decided to clean the house. Lukas was spending the weekend with his grandparents, and he had left earlier in the day. Jack had picked him up right after preschool.  
  
Chandler got home an hour later than Monica and soon realized he would be forced to help her out. He ended up having to clean the upstairs bathroom, a task that he hated. Monica was downstairs, mopping the floors. She heard the doorbell and went to answer.  
  
"Mrs. Bing?" one of the two men on the other side of the door asked. They were both dressed in suits and looked like something that had escaped from the FBI calendar.  
  
"Yeah, that's me…" Monica said, drying off her hands on her skirt. "And you are… ?"  
  
"Detective Jakes…" the man said, then nodded at his partner. "And this is Detective. Burns. Is your husband at home?"  
  
Monica frowned.  
  
"Yeah… What is this about?"  
  
"Could we speak to him please?"  
  
"Not if you don't tell me what it is about" Monica said, and crossed her arms. She leaned against the doorpost and glared at Jakes.  
  
"Mrs. Bing, we really need to speak to him."  
  
"Oh you do, do you? Well then just tell me what this is about. That's a simple deal, isn't it? You tell me what this is about, I go and get Chandler."  
  
"Let us speak to him first, then we can brief you in…" Jakes said with a sigh.  
  
"Why not talk to me first? I'm standing right here."  
  
"Listen lady!" Jakes said, annoyed. "We are here to speak to Chandler Bing. Now you let us talk to him or we will arrest you."  
  
"For what?" Monica asked. "Asking a Detective a question? Look MULDER, I will go get my husband as soon as you tell me what this is about? Has he done something?"  
  
"Yes" Burns said, giving her a sweet smile.  
  
"And what would that be? Speeding and then not paying his tickets?" Monica asked with a quippy tone.  
  
"Please Mrs. Bing, just let us speak to your husband" Burns said.  
  
"Is it so damn hard to open up your mouths and tell me what this is all about?" Monica hissed. "Look, I'm gonna end up finding out anyway, so you might as well spill it to me right here, right now. Or else you can turn around and go climb up the drainpipe, or something."  
  
Burns smiled at her. He liked her immediately, both her attitude and her looks. He knew she was married, but he liked her anyway. She saw him smile at her and she gave him an angry look.  
  
"What about you? Will YOU tell me?"  
  
"Why is it so important for you to find out?" Jakes asked with a resigned sigh.  
  
"You have no idea how stubborn I can be when I get my mind set on something" Monica said, glaring at him. "And if you must know, this happens to be my HUSBAND that you want to talk to, that you say has done something wrong. And I am not letting either one of you in until you tell me what the heck this is all about!"  
  
"Look, I'm…" Burns said, with a quick glance at Jakes, "I'm kinda' thirsty. Could I at least come in for a glass of water?"  
  
"Secret password?" Monica said.  
  
"Look lady--" Jakes began, but Monica cut him off.  
  
"If you're thirsty Detective Burns then help yourself to a drink from the water hose. Or tell me why you are here to see my husband."  
  
"Enough of the silly games Mrs. Bing, we want to talk to your husband NOW!" Jakes hissed.  
  
"You can't be too eager" Monica pointed out. "In that case you would have told me what this is all about. One last chance. What do you need to talk to him about?" She looked from one of them to the other, but neither of the Detectives spoke. "Okay then, have a nice life" Monica said and closed the door.  
  
She leaned up against the door and sighed deeply. She heard the policemen knock again. Then they pounded. Monica angrily and loudly hooked the security chain to get the message through. She wasn't going to let them in until they told her what was wrong. She wanted to be able to prepare Chandler for whatever they wanted to talk to him about.  
  
Thirty minutes later the cops were gone and Monica went out to get Chinese food for her and Chandler. Chandler was finishing up the cleaning upstairs and had asked her to get him some springrolls so she decided to go out and buy some instead of cook them herself. She wasn't very good at making them, and it did sound appealing to buy some food instead of cooking it.  
  
Chandler heard her leave, and then five minutes later he heard a knock on the door. He went downstairs and opened up. Detectives Jakes and Burns were glaring at him coldly. Chandler frowned, not knowing what was up.  
  
"Yes?" he said. "May I help you?"  
  
"Chandler Bing?" Burns said, flashing him his badge while Jakes did the same.  
  
"With an annoying wife?" Jakes added.  
  
"At least the first part is right" Chandler said.  
  
"You and the two of us are going to have a little talk…" Jakes said, and entered without being invited in.  
  
"About what?" Chandler said, confused.  
  
"You're under arrest, Mr. Bing" Burns said, entering as well.  
  
"I'm under WHAT did you say?" Chandler said, his chin falling.  
  
"Arrest" Jakes said. "Is this the kitchen?" he asked, pointing. "Nice… Cute wallpapers."  
  
Chandler rolled his eyes and closed the door, following them into the kitchen.  
  
"You know, there are few things more annoying than a cop with an attitude… So cut the quips and get down to the issue" he said, and sat down opposite the two policemen at the kitchen table.  
  
"You're under arrest" Burns repeated.  
  
"Under arrest for what, exactly?"  
  
"Insider trading" Jakes said with a content smile. "That's illegal, you know."  
  
"Do I look like a guy who's just earned a lot of cash on insider trading?" Chandler asked, getting annoyed and slightly afraid.  
  
"This house isn't exactly a barrack" Jakes said.  
  
"Well it's not exactly a million dollar residence either!" Chandler replied. "And if you want to know how we could afford it, then take a look at how much money my wife and I earn and see if it adds up. And for the record, we've lived here for four years now. And don't come here and tell me you think I was involved in inside trading four years ago! And besides, my mother loaned us the money we were short of when we moved in here. So that explains the house. Any other 'evidence'?"  
  
"Relax a few…" Jakes said and lit a cigarette.  
  
"Don't smoke in here, my wife cleaned in here just an hour ago" Chandler said. He grabbed the cigarette and threw it out the open window. "And excuse me for being a bit edgy! You're coming here accusing me of illegal actions, just out of the blue!"  
  
"You don't think we've got evidence?" Burns asked.  
  
"No, how could you possibly have? I haven't done it!" Chandler said. "And given the fact that you tried to use my HOME as a piece of evidence I would say you don't know what you're talking about!"  
  
*  
  
Monica came home fifteen minutes later and quickly noticed that something was wrong. She spotted Burns's car as soon as she pulled up on their driveway, and she could hear Chandler talking to someone in the kitchen with a very upset tone in his voice, the same second she got inside. She knew who he was talking to.  
  
She slowly and quietly walked over to the kitchen and silently stood in the doorway for a minute. She could see how desperate Chandler was getting. You could hardly tell from looking at him, but she knew him far too well to be fooled by his cooler exterior.  
  
"Chandler…" she said softly and questioningly once she spoke. Three heads turned to look at her. "Chandler what is going on?"  
  
"Oh look, it's Suzy Homemaker" Jakes quipped. "The dragon watching the doorstep."  
  
"Watch it!" Monica and Chandler said warningly at the same time.  
  
Monica walked over and put the food down on the counter. She put an arm around Chandler's shoulders and coldly glared at Jakes.  
  
"Is the matter still a secret, or am I allowed to hear it now?" Monica asked. "Either way it doesn't matter, I'm not going anywhere. Not unless Chandler does."  
  
"Actually, this would be a good time for me to question you!" Burns said, and quickly rose.  
  
"For what?" Monica asked. "What do you need to question me for, what?"  
  
"Before you can talk it all together with your husband. Come on now, Mrs. Bing" Burns said and reached out his hand to her.  
  
"Mon, you might as well…" Chandler said with a sigh. "Don't worry, Sherlock and Watson have just gotten their information mixed up."  
  
Monica looked at him for a second, then decided to let Burns question her. She wanted to know what this was about anyway. She gave him a cold glare and demonstratingly ignored his reached out hand and walked right past him and into Chandler's office that was on the other side of the living room. Burns followed her.  
  
"So cut the b-s, Detective, what is really going on here?" she asked when Burns closed the door behind them and she sat down on the edge of the writing desk.  
  
"Are you always this nice and charming?" he said with a grin.  
  
"Only when idiot cops come here and accuse my husband of things."  
  
"Have a seat, Mrs. Bing."  
  
"I'm already sitting" Monica said with an angry glare. "You can take a seat yourself."  
  
"Thank you" Burns said with a smile. He sat down on the small couch. "Mrs. Bing, your husband has been doing some inside trading."  
  
"Some WHAT?" Monica said, completely shocked. Then she got angry. "You're lying! Who do you think knows Chandler better, huh? You, who've known him for around fifteen minutes, or me, who's known him for over fifteen YEARS?"  
  
"I only know what the evidence tells me."  
  
"Which is… ?"  
  
"Mrs. Bing, we believe that your husband has used his contacts at the company he works for, and gotten inside information about good or bad stocks in the nearest future. And we believe that he's bought stock that he knows will pay off."  
  
"Believing is for church, Detective, not for crime solving" Monica said, annoyed. She crossed her arms. "Did the little detail sidestep you that he hasn't bought any stock recently?"  
  
Burns raised an eyebrow.  
  
"But in the past he has?"  
  
"Yeah. So? Since when is that illegal?"  
  
"How recently is recently?"  
  
"Three years, Detective."  
  
"That's not recently according to my calendar."  
  
"That's how long it's been since he bought any stock. He bought some stock that our son would get when he turns eighteen."  
  
"Where is your son, Mrs. Bing?"  
  
"With my parents. He's there over the weekend. And unless you think he's been buying stocks as well, then I don't think he is very important right now."  
  
"You're right, I'm sorry…" Burns said with a smile. "So tell me Mrs. Bing, are you sure your husband hasn't bought any stock recently? Would he tell you if he did?"  
  
"He even tells me if he buys GUM, Detective. So yes, he would have told me."  
  
"May I ask when your birthday is, Mrs. Bing?" Burns asked.  
  
"Why, so you can send me a happy little birthday card?" Monica asked, even more annoyed. "It's none of your business."  
  
"Just answer the question. Is it anytime soon?"  
  
"Three weeks from now."  
  
"Tree weeks from now…" Burns mumbled and wrote it down in his notebook.  
  
"Hey!" Monica objected.  
  
"Mrs. Bing," Burns said and looked up, "your husband has most likely bought these stocks to give to you for your birthday."  
  
"That's silly" Monica objected. "I don't give a damn about money. Chandler always gives me personal presents. Something that would mean a lot to me."  
  
"Maybe this does…" Burns said. "They were stocks for a restaurant called Allessandro's. The owner is selling it out as stocks and they're expected to be worth a lot. The restaurant is very popular. They got out on the market five days ago. Does Allessandro's mean anything to you?"  
  
Monica could feel how she got pale. Buying her stocks for the restaurant where she worked would be just the kind of sweet gesture she would expect from Chandler. But he wouldn't do it to earn money, he would do it because it meant something to her.  
  
"Mrs. Bing?" Burns said, trying to get her attention. "Mrs. Bing?"  
  
"I, uh… Work at Allessandro's" Monica said. She felt she was about to get in a hole deeper than she could get out of. "Look, I am not saying one more word until a lawyer is present."  
  
"Mrs. Bing, you're not under arrest" Burns said with a chuckle.  
  
"And Chandler isn't gonna say a word more either" Monica decided, jumping off the desk and heading back to the kitchen.  
  
*  
  
Monica sat down next to Chandler on the couch that night, and put her arm around his shoulders. She rubbed him on the leg with the other arm as she always did when she wanted to comfort him. She felt sad and worried. They had really gotten into a weird mess this time around. As if it wasn't enough with the whole Joey situation.  
  
The Chinese takeout was still sitting on the counter. It was cold since many hours, but neither Chandler nor Monica wanted anything to eat now anyway. Monica had gotten her hands on a lawyer really fast, since she had a cousin who was a lawyer. Her cousin, Todd, had come by real fast and managed to get Chandler a bail after just a few hours. The bail was set on $4 000 and Monica had luckily enough been able to get the money right away. She had called their friends and asked them to help her out, she would pay them back later. Just as long as they got Chandler out. The bail was paid and Monica and Chandler could return home, after some annoyed comments from Jakes at the police station.  
  
They weren't alone for long, their friends all came by. Lukas didn't end up spending the weekend away at his grandparents', Jack and Judy showed up first of all and of course they had Lukas with them. He didn't understand what was going on, but he understood that it wasn't something nice.  
  
Joey felt a lump in his throat when he sat on the couch opposite the one Monica and Chandler sat on. He felt terrible for Chandler, he couldn't understand how this all had happened. And Monica was sitting right next to him, hugging him and kissing him and supporting him. She saw no one else than him. Joey wished he would someday get that kind of devoted attention from her.  
  
It wasn't until Chandler rose to go to the bathroom that Monica even acknowledged Joey's presence. She rose and gave him a look that meant that he should follow her, then she went to the kitchen. Joey followed her out there and Monica closed the door between the kitchen and the living room.  
  
"Joey…" she said. "This thing between you and me… It's ending. Right here, right now. We should never even have begun it in the first place, and now we can't see each other at all. In that way, I mean. Chandler needs me now. Chandler is the only one I can care about right now, and we both know it. So that's why I'm ending this between us now. And I don't intend on ever starting it up again, do you understand?"  
  
Joey swallowed hard.  
  
  
Okay, weather you liked it or not, please review. I would like to point something out though, I've gotten a few mails and reviews saying that the Monica/Joey relationship is uncalled for and that the story is bad because I haven't motivated it. I would just like to say that I will motivate it, not just yet. And I happen to believe that not everything has to be written out, some things can be left to the imagination and are possibly better off not explained. I would also like to say that I personally don't think the concept of Monica and Joey is unrealistic. I doubt she would ever cheat on Chandler with Joey in "reality", but I wanted to write something new and different. Monica and Joey were intended as the long-lasting couple on "Friends" at first, but then the producers changed their minds and put Monica and Chandler together after a few seasons instead, according to several sources that I really trust. So the concept of Monica plus Joey isn't THAT unreal. I just have one more thing to say now, and that is that if you don't like my stories than please leave me some constructive criticism. Don't just tell me what is bad, tell me how you think I should solve it or make it better. I would really appreciate constructive criticism, but people have mailed me giving me BAD criticism. Please give constructive or good or not at all. Bad criticism doesn't help me out, but constructive does... Thanks... I'm done rambling now... :-)  
  
  
  



	5. Adultery5

Adultery, Part5  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: Part five in this series... There won't be many more parts. I'm ending this series soon, 'cause I've gotten so many complaints about it. Suits me right I guess, for trying to write a story like this, lol! Anyway, there will be at least three more parts after this one, but that will probably be it...  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters belong to Bright, Kauffman and Crane.  
  
  
Joey stared at her. He had known this moment would come sooner or later, that it would be over for good. He just hadn't expected it right now. He knew that Chandler needed her much more than he did right now, and he had no intention of asking her to stay. But it felt hard.  
  
Monica looked sad. She gave him a warm hug.  
  
"I like you Joey. I really do. But this has been so wrong. All the way it's been wrong. I belong with Chandler. And especially right now, my place is next to him. I'm going to devote myself entirely into this situation and to fight for him."  
  
"Well you should" Joey agreed, trying to hold back how sad he was. "Just like I am going to. I am going to make this up to him, the great betrayal I'm guilty of. I'm going to be the best friend he could ask for now." He sighed deeply. "But Monica every day I am going to be jealous of him because no matter how hard his life will be in the future, he still has what I want."  
  
"You'll find a woman to marry too, some day…" Monica assured him, and gently stroke his cheek.  
  
Joey made a face. That wasn't what he had meant. What he wanted, that Chandler had, was her. But he could never let her know that.  
  
She walked back to the living room and he followed shortly after. Chandler had come back from the bathroom and he put his arms around Monica for comfort when she sat down next to him again. She hugged him back and kissed him lovingly on the forehead.  
  
Joey sat down opposite them and hated his life. Chandler thought he had a problem, but it wasn't as hard as Joey's problem was. Chandler now had Monica as his and only his again, she would be there for him throughout this entire thing, while Joey would be all alone.  
  
*  
  
It was past midnight when Chandler and Monica finally got to be alone. Lukas was in bed and everyone else had gone home. They closed the door to their bedroom and Chandler slumped down on the bed.  
  
"Oh good god, Monica…" he said, hiding his eyes behind his hands and falling backwards on the bed. "How did I end up in this mess, huh?"  
  
"I don't know…" Monica said, walking over to him. She sank down next to him and gently rubbed his leg. "I don't know, but we will get you out of this okay. Trust me on this, honey."  
  
Chandler let his hands sink down from his face and he looked at her.  
  
"Monica I could go to jail for this! If they find me guilty of insider trading I might end up in jail for more than a YEAR!"  
  
"How could they find you guilty?" Monica objected. She leaned back so that she lay next to him and she let her hand stroke his arm instead of his leg. "Honey you did not do this. You didn't do anything wrong!"  
  
Chandler sighed and sat back up again.  
  
"Monica I did buy those stocks…" he said, afraid to look at her. "But I…"  
  
Monica sat up as well and put her arm around his shoulder.  
  
"Chandler… Buying stocks is not the same thing as committing inside trading! Several people have bought stocks, Allessandro's has restaurants in three places in New York, two in Chicago and one in some town in Maine! The restaurant has gotten a lot more successful than it was when I began working there, and owning stock would give you quite some money… It's no wonder people have bought them! But just because you bought some almost right away it doesn't mean that you've done anything ILLEGAL!"  
  
"Then how come they're just accusing me? Why not everybody else with stocks in the damn restaurant?"  
  
"Because you work where you do, and because one of the sections of the company you work for deals with stocks… They probably think you picked something up at work and thought it would bring in lots of money!"  
  
"Doesn't anybody care that my wife works there and that I bought the stocks as a birthday present for her?" Chandler said, beginning to sound desperate.  
  
"I figured that's why you bought them…" Monica said. She gently rubbed his arm and leaned in to kiss him.  
  
Chandler put an arm around her when she kissed him, and let her comfort him. He was trying not to be scared, but he was terrified. Weather or not he had done anything illegal he might get sentenced for it. Innocent people were sent to death row and executed, so why wouldn't he be able to get sent to prison for a year or more?  
  
Monica kissed him deeper and felt a feeling of joy and relief come over her. It was one of the worst days of her life so far, the situation with Chandler was terrible and the straw that had broken the camel's back was her ending it with Joey. But at the same time it felt good, because she knew now for certain where she belonged. She wondered if that had been the whole reason for her relationship with Joey in the first place; to get to find out for sure if she had made the right choice with Chandler. She had never doubted it as far as she knew, but maybe her subconscious knew her better.  
  
"Chandler let me help you get through this…" she mumbled when she ended the kiss. "Let me be there for you. I want to be there for you. I want you to know you can rely on me… I want to give you comfort and encouragement."  
  
Chandler kissed her hard. Without realizing it himself he took his frustration over the situation he was in out in the kiss. He gently pushed her back so that she was laying down again, and then he ended the kiss.  
  
Monica rose and got off the bed. She closed the blinds and then turned to look at him.  
  
"Let's just go to bed, huh?" she said. "I don't want to have to get out of bed afterwards just to brush my teeth and turn off lights."  
  
Chandler nodded and got off the bed as well. He went up to her and kissed her on the neck, then he left to brush his teeth. Monica took off her clothes and pulled her robe around her while she waited for him to return. They had a very small bathroom by their bedroom and it was more comfortable to go in there one and one. Chandler came back and went out to turn all the lights off.  
  
They met in bed five minutes later and Chandler kissed her hard again. Monica felt his frustration but didn't really know how to easen it. She figured she should just let him act it out, as long as he didn't end up accidentally hurting her. She gently stroke his back and hoped that by giving him affection she could calm him down.  
  
His mouth left hers and he began kissing her further and further down. Monica noticed that he was pretty much on autopilot, he was just making her ready for what he really needed. She tried to clear her mind and not think about why he was kissing her and touching her with less tenderness and care than usually. She knew it was all just frustration over the arrest, but his slightly harsh way of touching and caressing her frightened her a little. She hadn't really realized just how shaken he was by what had happened earlier that day.  
  
After a while his lips were by hers again and he was inside of her. She opened her eyes and saw that his were closed, and he had a very concentrated look on his face. She wasn't prepared for the force he was using, and she gave up trying to calm him down with just tenderness. She tapped him on the shoulder and he opened his eyes to look at her.  
  
"I'm here too, Chandler…" she gently said. "Relax a little…"  
  
He nodded and kissed her again, with tenderness this time. He relaxed and went over to his usual gentle way. But after just a few minutes he was getting harsh again, and his forcefulness was starting to hurt her.  
  
"Chandler!" she said in a loud tone to get his attention. "Honey you're hurting me."  
  
The next second he had gotten off her and swung his legs over the side of the bed and was sitting there with his face hidden in his hands. Monica sat up and moved over to him. She placed her hands around his shoulders and lovingly kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"I'm sorry" she heard him mumble.  
  
"That's okay" she said. "You stopped when I told you, so don't feel sorry."  
  
She could hear him sigh deeply and she quietly waited for him to speak.  
  
"What kind of a man am I, Mon?" he finally asked.  
  
"What?" Monica said, confused.  
  
"What kind of a man am I?" he repeated, letting his hands fall and turning to look at her. "Taking out my frustration on my wife like that…"  
  
Monica couldn't help chuckling.  
  
"Sweetheart, it's not like you were trying to hurt me" she said. "And I was just fine until the last ten seconds or so."  
  
"You shouldn't have to be not fine at all" he said. "You should be nothing else than fine when we sleep together."  
  
"Relax Chandler, it's okay, really it is."  
  
"Yeah, well I'm sorry anyway…" he said and gently stroke her cheek. "I promise you, it will never happen again."  
  
"It barely happened even this time" Monica replied and kissed him lightly. He took her in his arms and kissed her with love and tenderness this time, not with frustration.  
  
*  
  
"Monica…" Chandler said later that night when they were lying close together in their bed. "What will Lukas think of me?"  
  
"About what?" Monica asked, though she knew exactly what he was talking about.  
  
"About this whole stock thing… Especially if I go to jail…"  
  
"Honey would you stop?" Monica said. "You are not going to go to jail! Lukas is only going to remember this as something his father was wrongfully accused of."  
  
"But what if they do find me guilty?" Chandler asked.  
  
"How could they when you're not?"  
  
"They could… believe me… Otherwise there would be no innocent people in jail."  
  
"This will all work out Chandler" Monica assured him. "They have nothing but loose accusations and vague so called evidence. So you bought stock for a restaurant, so your company handled the stock exchange-thing, so what? That doesn't mean you did anything! This is probably just a routine check!"  
  
"Well in that case, what's with the 'you're under arrest' ting, and the $4000 you paid in bail today?" Chandler asked. "Monica I can't prove that I DIDN'T do anything illegal, there isn't really a way to prove that I never overheard anybody saying that the stocks for Allessandro's would be worth a lot! It's my word against other people's words."  
  
"You've never done anything illegal before" Monica pointed out. "You've got a good job, you live in a nice neighbourhood, the money you'd earn from the stocks wouldn't be IMPORTANT to you. You wouldn't need it to pay off any debts, bills or anything like that, you wouldn't need it to make sure we didn't loose the house or anything like that. They have no motive for why you would do it, honey. Except for greed, but anyone who knows you can certify that you're not the greedy type."  
  
Chandler was quiet for a second.  
  
"But Monica, what if I actually DID do it? I've heard so many accusations today that I'm starting to believe them myself, it's like I don't know anymore! Maybe I DID overhear someone talking about it, maybe I DID buy you the stocks for more reasons than as a birthday present."  
  
Monica lifted herself up and leaned her upper body on one arm, looking down at him.  
  
"Chandler Bing, do you know something?" she said. "You did NOT do anything illegal. I don't believe that, not even for a SECOND. Even if you would stare me in the eye and say 'Monica, I did do it' I still wouldn't believe that you actually did. I know you, and I know that you wouldn't do something like this just to get a few more thousand a year!"  
  
Chandler slowly turned his head and looked at her. He smiled slightly when he looked at her face. He didn't feel like smiling, but he couldn't help himself when he looked at her. His love for her brought on the smile.  
  
"Thank you for believing in me…" he said.  
  
"Thank you for giving me someone to always believe in" Monica replied, and kissed him lightly.  
  
*  
  
The following month passed by very slowly. There were interrogations here and new evidence there, and Chandler didn't know how he would get through it all if he didn't have the support of his friends.  
  
Monica was always with him when she was allowed to during the interrogations, but it wasn't often that she was allowed to be present. She didn't do special things to cheer him up, instead she did her best to keep their lives as ordinary as possible, and Chandler appreciated it. And she never even for a second doubted his innocence.  
  
Next to Monica, Joey was the one who gave him the most support. Joey often came by during the evenings and hung out with Chandler, assuring him that he would get out of this situation without a problem. In the middle of everything else that was going on, Chandler noticed something weird between Monica and Joey, it was like they didn't want to be around each other. Monica often excused herself and left when Joey came by, and then let the two men hang out by themselves, and Joey seemed thankful. But he dismissed it as a paranoid feeling and didn't think about it much.  
  
Phoebe, her husband and her two year-old daughter came by twice a week to offer support and to just hang out. Rachel and Nigel did the same. Ross came around every now and then, and he talked to Todd every day to find out what the current situation was. Even Jack and Judy stopped by once a week, but Chandler had the feeling that they mostly came by for Monica's sake.  
  
*  
  
Three weeks after they called their affair quits, Monica and Joey were alone together again for the first time. Joey had stopped by to see Chandler, but Chandler had gone by at his office to pick some stuff up. He had been fired earlier that day, since his company didn't want any lawbreakers working for them. The fact that he hadn't been proven guilty or that he had worked there for years with no bad remarks, didn't matter. "Corporate Policy" was the term they had used when they had called and fired him.  
  
Joey sat down on one of the couches in the living room. Monica sat down in the other. An awkward silence spread.  
  
"So…" Joey said.  
  
"So…" Monica echoed.  
  
"So how is Chandler today? Worse or better?"  
  
"A lot worse. The company called and fired him" Monica reported, feeling sorry for her husband. "Over the phone, Joey! How low is that, really? He's been there for seventeen years, and they can't even tell him he's fired to his face!"  
  
"Yeah, that is low…" Joey agreed.  
  
"You know, we've got to sort a few things out, you and I" Monica said. "Like for example that our friendship doesn't need to be over just because of this!"  
  
"Can our friendship survive this, Monica?" Joey asked.  
  
"It should be able to" Monica said. "Ross and Rachel are still great friends."  
  
"We're not Ross and Rachel" Joey commented. "And they didn't have to carry the burden of knowing that they'd betrayed someone so close to them by just being together. We both knew that our affair was WRONG, but that didn't stop us! I lay awake every night for two reasons Monica. One is that I can't just make sense of it all, how we could DO such a thing! And the second is even worse, because it makes the first reason worse. Because I also miss you--"  
  
"Joey don't!" Monica cut him off. "Don't. You just think that you miss me. You miss IT, not ME. The affair, not the woman you had it with."  
  
"So what are you saying, I should go screw some other married woman?"  
  
"Joey shut up!" Monica hissed. "You don't need to remind me that I'm married, and you don't need to call it 'screwing', you know I hate that term!"  
  
"How do you feel, Monica?" Joey asked coldly. "How does it feel to lay down next to him every single night?"  
  
"It feels just fine!" Monica hissed. "What, you think I miss you? Think again, Joey. There was nothing emotional in our affair, not for me! My love is for CHANDLER. And you know that it is."  
  
"I wasn't talking about that. How does it feel to lay down next to him and know that just a few weeks ago you were having sex with his best friend? Knowing that he trusted you so, and still does, when you've betrayed his trust in the worst possible way!"  
  
"It feels terrible, okay?" Monica said. "I feel so terrible! We were a MISTAKE, you and I! And yet we continued making the same mistake over and over. But it's OVER now, for good! And I try not to think about it. We have to put it behind us. Chandler needs me 100% now. And he needs you. I think you and I should just try and patch up our friendship and move on with our lives. You and I are never going to be a couple for real, both of us know that, so the only other alternative is friendship. I can't lead a double life as Chandler's wife and your lover, and Chandler is not stupid, he would have found out sooner or later! He's suspected me of seeing someone else this summer, I'm quite sure of it! He just hasn't said anything, but I could tell sometimes from the look in his eyes. It was as if he was asking me where I had been, what I had been doing and with whom. Joey it's pointless to discuss the thing you and I had, all we can have is friendship and we'd better work on saving that! I don't want to loose you as a friend!"  
  
"I don't want to loose you either, Monica" Joey said. "But this is all hard for me. I like you, Mon. I don't love you like Chandler does, but I still have some sort of--"  
  
"No you don't" Monica said, cutting him off again.  
  
She rose and went to greet Chandler, who had come home right when she had cut Joey off. Joey looked at her back as she left the living room, and he wondered if she had cut him off because she didn't want to hear it, or because she did want to hear it.  
  
  
Please review. I would btw like to send a special thanks to all of you who have in mails or reviews supported me since I began writing this series, I know a lot of people dislike the plot but knowing that many of them still support me with this series is great! Thanks to all of you (especially Ashlee), I hope I won't let you down with the rest of the series.  



	6. Adultery6

Adultery, Part6  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: Part 6. Pretty much concentrates on Chandler's trial, and the outcome of it.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the "Friends" characters, they belong to NBC.  
  
  
After eight weeks of interrogation and pre-trial, Todd called Chandler up and told him that he had gotten scheduled for a trial. It wasn't going to be one of those big style TV things with a jury and all that, it was just going to be Chandler, Todd and the DA. And of course the judge and whoever came to listen, plus the witnesses that the DA planned on using to prove that Chandler had done something illegal.  
  
Chandler felt nauseous when he woke up on the morning of the trial. Monica was asleep next to him and he didn't want to wake her up, so he got out of bed carefully and went to their bathroom to take a shower. After two minutes in the shower Monica had woken up, and she joined him in the shower. There was nothing sexual about it, just the comfort of being together. Neither of them were in the mood for sex anyway, not when they both knew he could be found guilty and sent to prison. Todd had told him that he was looking at 9 months of prison if he was found guilty, and even though it was a lot better than getting more than a year, it felt like way too long. Monica had found out earlier that week that she was four weeks pregnant, but she hadn't told him yet. She knew he wouldn't be there for the birth if Todd didn't manage to save him from this, and she didn't want him to have to think about that. If he did get sent away she would make sure to sleep with him the last night before he had to go, and then she would claim that she had gotten pregnant on that night and would give birth just about a week after Chandler got back. And when the baby was born sooner than that, she would just claim it was premature. She didn't want Chandler to sit at a prison for nine months, knowing that he wouldn't get to be there for the birth of his second child.  
  
They got out of the shower and got dressed. Monica woke Lukas up and got him dressed. Nigel came over ten minutes later to pick the boy up, he was going to stay with Rachel and Nigel during the days until the trial was over. Rachel was going to be there during the trials though, she wanted to show Chandler that he had her support.  
  
*  
  
Chandler walked in to the small courtroom where his nearest future would be determined. His entire future even. Who would hire someone who'd been in prison for insider trading?  
  
Monica was right next to him with her arm under his. She looked around and saw Todd speaking to the DA, and a few people who had come to watch. Some of them were law students, others were just the typical vultures who loved to see people being sent away to prison. Their friends were there as well, Phoebe and Joey were seated together on one bench and Ross was right behind them together with Monica's parents. Rachel was on the other side together with Chandler's now former boss Doug. Chandler appreciated the support from his former boss, knowing that Doug hadn't had any part in having him fired.  
  
Chandler knew that they were only waiting for him to be able to begin. He walked up to where the two lawyers were standing and then turned to Monica. They kissed and hugged, then Monica walked back and sat down with Joey and Phoebe. She felt numb and she realized in relief that sitting next to Joey didn't make her feel any different from sitting next to anyone else in her friendship crowd.  
  
The first part of the trial was a lot of legal talk that bored Monica. She wished they could just get right to the point and stop dragging it out. But after over an hour and a half without anything really important being said, the judge banged his club and told everyone to be back in ten minutes.  
  
'He's probably just as bored as the rest of us…' Monica thought to herself, and rose from her seat. She walked up to Chandler together with Phoebe and Joey, and gave Chandler a hug.  
  
"You're doing okay so far…" she whispered.  
  
"I'm not doing anything right now. Nobody is. They're just talking about this and that legal paragraph. Why can't they just get right down to the point, the judge must know all of these paragraphs after all!"  
  
Monica hugged him tighter. She felt a little nauseous and knew she had to eat something. But she didn't want to leave Chandler at the moment, so she turned and asked Phoebe to go get her a sandwich.  
  
"Chandler…" she said, and kissed him on the cheek. "Listen, it's better that they do everything slowly and precisely. No mistakes, no mix-ups. The more careful they are, the better your chances are."  
  
Chandler nodded and kissed her on the forehead with a sigh. He pulled her into another hug and slowly rocked back and forth with her. He looked up and met Joey's eyes. Joey looked away after a second, as if seeing something he didn't want to see, or didn't feel clarified to see.  
  
Phoebe returned with Monica's sandwich and the judge got back just as she finished it. She gave Chandler one last hug, then went back to her seat. This time she sat down with Joey to her right and Phoebe to her left.  
  
The judge began talking about this and that legal prospect, then the DA finally seemed to get started with what they were really there for. Monica looked over and noticed that Doug was gone. She wondered why, then realized that Todd might want to use him as a character witness and it would in that case be best if Doug didn't hear the other testimonies. She sighed heavily and sank back in her seat. She could see how tense Chandler's shoulders were.  
  
The questioning went pretty slow until one of the cops, Detective Jakes, gave his testimony providing what they had found that would qualify as evidence. Jakes told the DA that Chandler's motive had been good old-fashioned greed, and that he had thought he would get away with it since he didn't actually need the money. It sounded very loose in Monica's ears, and she heard Todd object.  
  
"The defendant bought the stocks for his wife who works at the restaurant, not to earn money from them" he pointed out.  
  
The DA smiled slyly.  
  
"That does not prove that he is not guiltily. Especially not since his wife was his accomplice."  
  
"WHAT?" Monica exclaimed and came close to flying to her feet.  
  
Chandler turned and gave her and angry look, telling her to be quiet, and the judge banged his club. She couldn't believe what a weird accusation the DA had come with. She felt Phoebe shiver next to her and she felt like shivering herself. Then she heard a weird noise from Phoebe and turned to look at her. Phoebe was shaking and covering her mouth with her hand. She was getting tears in her eyes. Monica all of a sudden realized that she was laughing. She elbowed her in the side.  
  
"Hey!" she said hushed.  
  
"I'm sorry" Phoebe got out, and started to laugh as quietly as she could. "But this is just too amusing… It's pathetic! You an accomplice? They're just making stuff up out of thin air, trying to be Perry Mason or something… It's pure comedy this whole thing…"  
  
Monica shook her head. She realized what Phoebe meant. It was insane, this whole thing felt like a parody of a real trial. She had absolutely nothing to do with any stocks being bought, other than the fact that they were bought for her. She listened to the DA explain how she had found out through work that the stocks would hit the market soon, and that they would be worth a lot of money. Even in Monica's ears it sounded very loosely based and taken out of the air. But that didn't stop her from feeling scared and uncomfortable.  
  
She felt Joey put his arm around her and pull her closer, offering support. She got the most support from knowing that there was nothing about it other than friendship. It had nothing to do with their affair, it was just Joey being there for her as a friend. It felt like the first sign that he wanted to save their friendship.  
  
*  
  
Two days later the trial was coming to it's end. Monica was starting to feel a bit more hopeful. Todd had made it pretty clear that Monica had nothing at all to do with the stocks other than that Chandler had bought them for her, but she hadn't known he'd bought them. Once that was stated, and proven, the DA's case lost credibility. Todd told Monica and Chandler that he couldn't even understand why the DA had thrown in such an accusation in the first place, but it had turned out pretty fortunate for Chandler. At least Todd thought so.  
  
Sitting in the courtroom waiting for the judge to announce the verdict felt like the worst part of the entire trial. Chandler sat by Todd, knowing that his future was at stake right now. He didn't dare to think he would end up in prison and he didn't dare to hope he would be freed of the charges.  
  
Monica sat right behind him together with her parents. Rachel and Ross sat right behind her and Joey and Phoebe were further back. Chandler couldn't see them since they sat behind him, but knowing that they were there was comforting.  
  
Finally the judge showed up again and sat down, banging the club absentmindedly. He seemed preoccupied with something else, and it drove Monica crazy. He was about to determine her husband's future, how could he sit there thinking about totally irrelevant things?  
  
She had expected him to announce the verdict right away. Instead he began a monologue that seemed endless, it was as if he was repeating all the facts that had been mentioned earlier. Even the two lawyers seemed a little bored, and Monica could only imagine how Chandler must be feeling. Monica thought it was cruel to drag this out, it would be much better to just get the whole thing over with.  
  
Finally the judge asked Chandler to rise. Chandler, Monica and their friends all felt a tight knot in their stomachs. This was it.  
  
After a few more minutes of the judge talking about different matters in this case, he finally got to the point.  
  
When Chandler heard the words 'not guilty' he let out a sigh of relief and sank back to sitting. Monica threw herself forward and put her arms around his shoulders from behind, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and she could see Ross giving Rachel a hug in the corner of her eye.  
  
As soon as the judge declared that the court was dismissed, Chandler and Monica simultaneously rose and Chandler turned to face her. They met in a deep kiss and then Rachel and Ross hugged them from behind after getting over to them. Joey and Phoebe soon joined them and Monica and Chandler ended the kiss and just hugged instead. It was all over now. They could put it all behind them.  
  
*  
  
Monica fell back on the couch, with Chandler kissing her feverishly. He lay on top of her on the couch and kissed her with hunger, desire, relief and a dozen other emotions. She could barely catch her breath between the kisses, but she was as eager as he was. They had won today, they wouldn't have to be apart. Monica saw this as a new beginning for them, she could be all he needed now again, and give herself only to him.  
  
Chandler had only felt such a relief once before in his entire life. That relief had been when he had thought Monica had left, and then walked into their apartment to find her waiting for him, with so many candles lit he couldn't even count them. This time it was a different relief, though. That had been relief over getting the woman he wanted, this time it was over freedom.  
  
They ended up upstairs in their bedroom, making love for the first time in over a week. Afterwards Monica rested her head on his chest and felt his arms around her. He wasn't strong, but his arms felt strong anyway when they rested around her. It made her feel safe and secure.  
  
"I am so thankful that this is all behind us now…" she whispered. "I would have missed you like crazy. I know I'm selfish, you would have to go through a whole lot more than me, but I would still hardly know how to get by."  
  
"I am so relieved that Lukas won't have to be ashamed of me" Chandler told her. "That's been the only thing on my mind ever since this stupid trial began. What he would think of me. What he would have to go through. He's five years old, and having a dad in prison can't be easy at that age. Not that it's easy at any age, but… well, you know what I mean… And I was thinking about if the other kids would tease him. Something like that would follow him for years. He would probably get to hear about it for years, probably all the way up to college…"  
  
"I don't think it would be that bad" Monica calmly objected. "For one thing I wouldn't let him think for even a second that his father is a bad man. And having a father who's done time for something like this isn't like having a father who's done time for serious crimes."  
  
"Well I'm still glad I won't have to be away from him for nine months…"  
  
"So am I. And I'm glad you won't have to be away from me."  
  
She decided to tell him now that she was pregnant. It was as good time as any, and now he would definitely get to be there when the baby was born.  
  
She turned around in his arms so that she lay on her stomach on top of him. He smiled at her and stroke some hair away from her cheeks. Then he stroke the hair on her shoulders and back.  
  
"I have something to tell you" she said. "Something serious."  
  
Chandler just nodded. He had been expecting it. He knew she had been keeping something from him, and he might as well find out about it right now.  
  
"I'm pregnant" she said, unable to keep a smile from her face.  
  
He stared at her for a second. This wasn't what he had expected at all. Then he felt happy. He hadn't thought about weather or not they should give Lukas a sibling, but he would love to have another child in the family.  
  
"You couldn't have given me any better news than this…" he said and kissed her lovingly.  
  
"I didn't want to say anything before we knew the verdict" Monica told him. "Because if you had been found guilty you would have missed the baby's birth. I didn't want you to have to sit in prison for eight months, knowing that you would miss it. And then for one month knowing you had a baby you'd never seen."  
  
"Well it sure would be a surprise once I got out…" Chandler said, slightly quippy.  
  
"If they found you guilty I was going to make sure that we had sex your last night before you had to leave… And then I would just be able to tell you that I had gotten pregnant at that occasion, and that you would be out just in time for me to go into labour. And then when I had the baby sooner I would just say it was premature."  
  
"Why not just tell me the truth?" Chandler asked, curious.  
  
"Because I didn't want you to spend eight months knowing you would miss it, like I just said" Monica said. "It would be a small lie anyway, and it would probably save you some tough emotions… I don't think you'd want to sit in a cell for eight months, knowing that I would go through labour without you being there."  
  
Chandler nodded. Then he kissed her again.  
  
"Well thankfully enough, I won't have to miss it. I'm a free man again. And my wife just told me I'm becoming a father again. Things couldn't possibly be any better right now…"  
  
He kissed her once again, and then rolled her over so that he was on top. He made love to her and then fell asleep with his head by her heart, listening to her heartbeats and letting them rock him to sleep.  
  
*  
  
Joey rose to open the door. He was surprised to see Phoebe on the other side of it, he hadn't expected her to come by.  
  
"Hi Phoebs… What's up?"  
  
Phoebe walked inside and took her coat off.  
  
"Dave and I are getting a divorce."  
  
"Oh… Wow, I'm so sorry Phoebs!"  
  
"It's okay…"  
  
Phoebe walked into the living room. Joey still lived in the same apartment that he'd shared with Chandler and later Rachel.  
  
"Did he end it or did you?" Joey asked. "Or was it mutual?"  
  
"I… don't know really. I think it's been over for months. Even years. It was over, but then I got pregnant and we wanted to give it a second chance. For Melissa's sake. But we just couldn't pretend anymore, we filed for divorce last month… But we didn't tell anyone."  
  
"Why not Phoebs?"  
  
"Well we figured it wasn't the time. Not with Chandler's arrest and everything!"  
  
"So…" Joey said. "What are you going to do now?"  
  
"I don't know. But I came here because there's something I've got to talk to you about."  
  
Joey felt a lump in his throat. He hoped she didn't sense what had been going on between him and Monica. But Phoebe had something completely different on her mind.  
  
"One of the reasons it all ended…" she said and walked closer. "Was that… that… Joey I… kind of have feelings for you."  
  
Joey stared at her, shocked.  
  
"I haven't been able to tell you… Not as long as Dave and I have been working on our relationship… But now I think you need to know."  
  
Joey didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. He sighed and decided that he owed her to be completely honest with her.  
  
"Phoebe…" he said. "You are an amazing woman. I hope Dave knows what he's loosing. But I… Phoebe I…"  
  
"I haven't seen you lately except for together with Monica and Chandler" Phoebe said. "And you've been acting a bit strange, and I've sensed some sort of love there…"  
  
"Phoebe I'm really sorry, but the love isn't for you" Joey said, hating himself in that moment. But he loved her too much as a friend and respected her too much to give her any false hope. "I… I'm in love with someone. Someone I can't have. She's married, and I know her husband. I met her through her husband. And she's pretty much as far from divorce as she can be. I know I can't have her Phoebs, but I want her anyway… And I can't really try and fall in love with you while I haven't gotten over these feelings for her."  
  
Phoebe nodded, and tried to hold back her tears. She had been almost certain that Joey felt something for her too. There had always been a connection between them, but now she realized that it had just been friendship and nothing else. Chandler had been Monica's, Ross had somehow been Rachel's, so it had only been with Joey that she had been able to see something romantic in it. But now she realized that he hadn't felt it the same way as she had.  
  
"This woman, she must be very special" she said and looked away.  
  
"She is. Believe me, she is." He smiled slightly. "I know you would like her."  
  
"Joey…" Phoebe said, looking up at him. "Can we please just forget that I said anything today? Could we please just be friends again?"  
  
Joey nodded and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Phoebe went past him, got her coat and left, not able to hold back her tears any longer.  
  
  
Please review.The series is almost finished now, although there'll probably be more than just two parts after this one... It depends on how I manage to wrap things up... :-) But let me know if you have any pointers...  



	7. Adultery7

Adultery, Part7  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: Three years have passed since part 6. Chandler didn't get his job back, he started up some sort of small firm with some guy named Bill. Monica and Chandler have a second child now, as you probably realized. That's pretty much where the story is at the moment. Oh, and to the Phoebe and Joey fans, sorry, they aren't together. Joey didn't have any romantic feelings for her, and he doesn't have any now either. She still has some sort of feelings for him though, but she's not featured in this part so it doesn't really matter.  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters don't belong to me. I just use them for my stories and screw up their lives... lol...  
  
  
  
Monica woke up one morning three years later and stretched out in bed. She yawned big and then got out of bed, careful not to wake Chandler up. She looked over at him and smiled lovingly. He had grown a beard eight months earlier and even though their friends thought he looked ridiculous, Monica thought he was cute. As long as he didn't wear his glasses. They looked really odd together with the beard.  
  
She pulled her robe around her and stuck her feet in the slippers. She went down the stairs and whistled to herself. Patch, the dog, ran past her and she let him out in the front yard while she got the morning paper. She whistled for him and he came running in again, ready for breakfast.  
  
Monica fed the dog, then brewed coffee and waited for the kids to come downstairs. After just a few minutes Lukas showed up. He was nine years old by now and unlike his father he hated to sleep in. Monica made him pancakes and listened to his outlays on what had happened on his favourite cartoon. Then she went upstairs to get her second child ready for breakfast.  
  
Max was already awake, which was unusual. Usually she had to wake him up, and he was always grumpy when he was forced to wake up. This morning though he was looking at her and then smiled when she lifted her up from his bed.  
  
"Morning mommy."  
  
"Morning Max."  
  
She decided to let him eat breakfast in his pyjamas and took him downstairs. Once both children were fed, dressed and parked in front of the TV with the dog, Monica decided to wake Chandler up. She walked up the stairs and into their bedroom, where he was still fast asleep. She smiled lovingly and snuck down next to him. She gently kissed him on the forehead, causing no reaction. She gave him a kiss on the lips and he moved slightly but didn't wake up. She giggled and got out of bed again and got dressed. She then sat down on the edge of the bed next to him, and leaned in and tickled him.  
  
That had effect. Chandler got wide awake, and quite annoyed. He didn't like being woken up that way.  
  
"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Monica said with a giggle. "New house rules. No one sleeps any longer than to nine."  
  
"Monica the SUN sleeps longer than that…" Chandler mumbled, and rolled over.  
  
Monica chuckled and sat on top of him. She heard him groan and try to roll her off so he could go back to sleep, but she was sitting on his right hip and he was jammed. To annoy him further she continued to chuckle and started bouncing up and down on him.  
  
"I hate you" he mumbled from the pillow. "Go pester the boys."  
  
"No need to, Lukas was up right after me and Max was awake when I came to wake him up."  
  
"Then pester the dog."  
  
"The dog is watching cartoons."  
  
She bounced some more and leaned in to tickle him again. When she leaned in he managed to get a grip of her wrist. He started to wrestle her off him, but she managed to tickle him anyway and when she did he let go of her wrist to try and push her hands away. He rolled over on his back and she straddled him.  
  
"Now, here's the deal, monsieur Bing," Monica said with a smile, "I will stay here and tickle you until you get your butt out of bed."  
  
Chandler reached up and grabbed her around the back, pulling her down towards him. He kissed her passionately, and her hands stopped tickling. But the minute he ended the kiss she started tickling him again.  
  
"Damn it…" he said through his muffled laughter. "That didn't work!"  
  
"Of course it didn't work!" Monica replied. "I rule! No one can beat me. Especially not you."  
  
"Yeah, we'll see about that!" Chandler replied and started tickling her back.  
  
"I'm not ticklish" Monica said. "Only under the feet, and good luck getting access there!" She took a pause from the tickling and pulled his hands off her.  
  
"The last time I tried to tickle you under your feet you reacted by reflex and kicked… I broke my nose…" Chandler reminded her.  
  
"Suit yourself" Monica replied.  
  
"Don't tickle me anymore right now, okay?" Chandler said with a sigh. "I hate being tickled." He smiled smugly. "My suggestion is that you crawl into bed with me and help me wake up in my favourite way…"  
  
"Oh I've already found a way to wake you up" Monica replied with a smile and tickled him again, unable to keep from laughing when he started fighting her.  
  
The phone rang and Monica reached over to answer, still straddling Chandler. Chandler took a deep breath and exhaled in a sigh of relief.  
  
The phone call was for Chandler, it was Bill, his partner in the small firm he had started after getting fired during the trial. Monica smiled still and didn't move from her place on top of him when he started talking. She soon realized that Bill had some bad news, and she got it confirmed when Chandler finished the talk and hung up the phone.  
  
"Bill's not coming by tomorrow…" Chandler said. "He's gonna be in court. His divorcing Marjorie and they're fighting over some stuff, like the house for example, and they apparently have to settle it in court."  
  
"A divorce? Oh my gosh! I had no idea!"  
  
"Yeah, join the club… Apparently Marjorie had sex with someone else."  
  
Chandler begun a long monologue about how sad it was, and how awful it was to commit adultery, but Monica didn't listen really. For the first time since Max's birth, the memories from her time with Joey came back. She hadn't thought about it for years, she and Joey had managed to save their friendship and put what had been behind them. But now it all came back. After a few minutes she couldn't take another word out of Chandler's mouth about how wrong it was to cheat.  
  
"Chandler stop, okay!" she said.  
  
He looked confused.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I've heard enough."  
  
"Oh come on Monica, it's not like you support sleeping with other people!" Chandler protested.  
  
"Well maybe you shouldn't judge her. You don't know anything else than what Bill has told you" Monica said.  
  
"Adultery is never right, Monica."  
  
"Yeah, well you seem to be able to think that my brother is a decent person, and he cheated on Rachel! And Julie! And Bonnie!"  
  
"Well he never cheated when he was married!" Chandler pointed out. "Marriage is another thing than just a relationship, Monica. Marriage is a commitment for life, it can't be excused to have sex with someone else once you're married!"  
  
Monica was feeling nauseous. She had never known he felt so strongly about it. She shuddered at the thought of what he would have done if he had found out about her and Joey.  
  
"And Marjorie didn't even give him a reason why!" Chandler continued. "Bill just found her in bed with the mailman! I mean, come on, how soap-operish can you get?"  
  
"Chandler maybe she doesn't even know herself why she did it!" Monica said. "Maybe she just needed something that she didn't know what it was, and maybe Bill was unable to give it to her!"  
  
"That's bullshit Monica" Chandler said. "I mean, come on, you should know when you marry someone that that person is everything you will ever need. It's one thing to think other people are attractive, but if you need something from someone else than the person you're marrying, then don't get married at all!"  
  
"That is hard to know when you get married, Chandler!" Monica objected. "Who's to say what will happen in the future? People change, maybe Marjorie needed more all of a sudden, maybe Bill gave her less all of a sudden, maybe they both just changed!"  
  
"Sounds to me like you're defending her" Chandler said with a frown. "What, are you all for cheating now?"  
  
"No" Monica said. "But I just think that you should wait with judging her until you know her side of the story!"  
  
"What's the point?" Chandler asked. "It doesn't matter either way what I think. That's Bill's life and it's his business. But I just feel bad for him. I mean, I'm in such a secure marriage myself, I would never have to come home and find you having sex with someone else. I've got the perfect marriage, and he just found out his is over."  
  
"There's no such thing as a perfect marriage" Monica mumbled, and got off him. She left the room, in deep thought.  
  
*  
  
That night Chandler and Monica went to bed early, right after the kids were in bed. Chandler snuggled close to her and rested his head between her head and her shoulder. His arm was around her and his right leg was laying across her legs, like his arm was across her chest.  
  
Monica absentmindedly stroke his beard, caught up in thought. His words earlier in the day had scared her, and they had made her feel very guilty. She knew she would have to deal with the guilt for the rest of her life, but that was all her own fault so she could deal with it. But what she couldn't deal with was the feeling that came over her when Chandler spoke of their perfect marriage. She knew he was wrapped in false security, he believed so strongly in their marriage and in their love. If he ever found out he would be so furious and so hurt. She had thought she could get away with her affair with Joey, that Chandler would never find out about it. But she started to realize that maybe it wasn't worth keeping it a secret. Chandler deserved to find out the truth, but at the same time she could never even let him find out. He deserved the truth, but not the pain that came with it.  
  
Chandler kissed her lovingly on her neck, and reached up the hand that was laying across her chest. He caressed her on the cheek with it, lovingly. She felt a lump in her throat. She loved him so much, she couldn't take loosing him or seeing him hurt. She couldn't figure out why she had ever jeopardized what she had, she had had everything she had ever wanted. She had had a love better than anything she had imagined finding when she was younger, she had had a son together with her husband, she had had the life she'd always wanted. She still had it, but now she could loose it. It had been granted hers before, now it was uncertainly hers.  
  
She kissed the top of his head and put her left arm around him, pulling him closer. Her right hand was still in his beard. She didn't want to loose him, she couldn't loose him. She was too in love to be able to handle life without him, and just the fear of loosing him made her want to vomit. He was hers, and she hoped he would always want her to be his. She wondered if he'd really be willing to give up on her even if he knew. Women had cheated on him before, and he had sometimes wanted to try and get back together with Kathy right after she had cheated on him. Did Kathy really mean more to him than she, Monica, did? She knew that the answer was no. So why was it so unbelievable that he could forgive her?  
  
"Chandler…" she said and slowly sat up, letting go of his body.  
  
"Yeah?" he said, pulling his arm back so she could sit.  
  
"About earlier today… This morning, when…" She sighed deeply. "Chandler there's something I've got to tell you. A few years ago, four years ago actually, I… I slept with Joey."  
  
"W… what?" Chandler said, slowly sitting up as well. He couldn't think she was serious. "What did you just say? Monica that joke wasn't funny."  
  
"It's no joke" Monica whispered. "Joey and I…"  
  
"Joey and you what?"  
  
"We had sort of a… thing on the side." She didn't dare to look at him. "For about three months or so we had sex with each other."  
  
"Oh, oh my, oh… oh GOD!" Chandler said, moving away from her and rubbing his temples. He couldn't believe it. "No, not sex, not you and Joey…" He looked at her. "I don't believe you. You would never do anything like that to me!"  
  
"I never thought I would be able to…" Monica whispered, looking down on her hands. Then she spoke in a normal tone. "And I have never felt so bad about anything in my entire life. And you know that I really mean that."  
  
"Felt bad?" Chandler said. "Monica tell me that you didn't actually have sex with Joey Tribbiani, my best friend!"  
  
"I never meant for you to find out…" Monica said, and hid her face in her hands, starting to cry.  
  
"And so to make sure I don't find out you TELL me about it?" Chandler said, still not able to let it sink in.  
  
"You deserve the truth, honey" Monica said. "That's why I'm telling you. You deserve to know. I just didn't want to tell you before because I didn't want you to be hurt."  
  
"No, that might have worked if you'd had sex with him ONCE, but for three MONTHS? My GOD Monica!"  
  
"Chandler it was four years ago!"  
  
Chandler got a frightening thought.  
  
"Monica, that means it's around the time Max was conceived. Please, tell me he's not--"  
  
"Oh of COURSE he's yours!" Monica said slightly irritated, looking up at him. "For crying out loud, he looks just like you!! And for your information, things were over with Joey weeks before I got pregnant."  
  
"Oh, weeks, thank you, that's encouraging" Chandler said with lots of sarcasm.  
  
"Look Chandler, what do you want me to say?"  
  
"That you're not serious! That you're just pulling some sick joke on me, to, to test my reaction or something! Just please, PLEASE tell me that you haven't cheated on me with Joey!" Chandler said.  
  
Monica started to cry even worse when she saw the pleading look on his face. She hadn't wanted him to be hurt, and now he was. Worse than she could take seeing him.  
  
"Oh Chandler I am so sorry…" she whispered.  
  
"Oh god no…" Chandler said, and drew further back from her. "And JOEY of all people?"  
  
Then suddenly he realized exactly what that meant. His best friend and his wife, sleeping together. The two people that he had trusted and relied on all these years had been having sex. Joey, his best friend, had touched Monica in ways Chandler thought he had the right to demand monopoly on since he married her, he had kissed her, caressed her, been inside of her! And Monica, his Monica, she had let him! She had kissed him back, caressed him back, let him inside.  
  
His hand flew up to his mouth and he got out of bed. He backed towards the door to the bathroom and backed right into it. He ran into the bathroom and threw up violently in the toilet several times. He felt sick to his stomach, heart and head. In just one second she had destroyed his life, in just one second she had broken his idyll into pieces.  
  
Tears were falling down his cheeks, but he didn't know if that came from the vomiting or from the pain inside. He didn't care which, it didn't make any difference. He sank back next to the toilet and flushed it. He was trembling and hyperventilating. This was all just too much.  
  
Monica showed up in the door, looking concerned.  
  
"Sweetheart… Chandler are you okay?" she asked, worried.  
  
Chandler wanted to hiss at her that of course he wasn't okay. He wanted to tell her to go to hell. But somehow he couldn't. He couldn't open his mouth to speak.  
  
She came over and sat down next to him. She put her arm around his shoulders, and feeling her trying to comfort him made him have to vomit again.  
  
Monica recoiled her arm, and the tears that had dried started falling again. Chandler flushed the toilet again, then sank back down to where he had been sitting. He hid his face in his hands for a second, then he looked up again.  
  
For a few minutes everything was quiet. Chandler couldn't speak and Monica didn't dare to. Then Chandler finally managed to speak.  
  
"Damn you both…" he said. "Damn you both."  
  
  
  
  
Well, so now Chandler knows... Will he forgive Monica? Will he forgive Joey? Will he seek revenge? Will Monica step out of the shower and realize that it's all been a nightmare (lol)? Find out in part 8... :-) And please review this part!  
  
  



	8. Adultery8

Adultery, Part8  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: Well, now Chandler knows that Monica and Joey have had an affair. And he ain't happy about it... Read and find out. Btw, the raiting is for language, not for anything sexual. Maybe the rating is too high, but they're different from the ratings where I live so I'm unsure of which ratings to set sometimes.  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters belong to Bright, Kauffman and Crane. The rest is mine. Well, except for the letters, who belong to Rome I guess, and the words who belong to about a billion ancient languages... lol!  
  
  
Joey sat down by the writing desk in Chandler's downstairs office. Chandler had called and told him to come over. He wanted to talk. Lukas had opened the door for him and told him that Chandler was just finishing a conversation with Monica. Joey said he would wait in the office, and so he did.  
  
He looked up when Chandler entered. He frowned slightly. Chandler didn't look as usual. For one thing he had shaved off the beard. That would have made him look younger, but the look of frustration and anger in his eyes made him seem older. He looked worn and haggard, and he had dark rings under his eyes.  
  
Chandler sat down on the writing desk and stared on the wall. He couldn't look at Joey. Not just yet. He couldn't bare to look at the friend that had betrayed him in such a disgusting way.  
  
"So how did you think she was?" he asked.  
  
"Who and what are we talking about?" Joey asked.  
  
"My wife," Chandler said, "how did you think she was when you slept with her? Good? Bad? Medium? You must have thought she was at least medium, after all, you slept with her for months!"  
  
Joey flew to his feet, completely shocked and very scared.  
  
"What? How did you know?"  
  
"Oh how do you THINK I know?" Chandler asked coldly. "She told me."  
  
"Monica TOLD you?" Joey asked, shocked and unable to believe it. This was a nightmare. He had thought it was all over, that he wouldn't have to worry about Chandler finding out anymore. And then Monica had told him!  
  
"Yeah, she told me."  
  
"But we said you would never find out!" Joey objected to no one, frustrated. "We didn't want you to find out, we didn't want to put you through that!"  
  
"Well then you shouldn't have had sex in the first place!" Chandler bawled, rising to his feet. "Now sit down, I am far from done with you!"  
  
Joey quietly sat down, trying to keep the panic at bay. He knew this would get ugly. There was no chance that Chandler would let him off the hook easily. He was loosing his best friend, correction, he had already lost him.  
  
"What in the name of hell made you think you could put your hands on my wife?" Chandler asked, furious. "Let alone your mouth, tongue or 'little general'?"  
  
"Look Chandler, it's not something we PLANNED! It just HAPPENED!"  
  
"Oh I see, it just kinda' happened for three months" Chandler said sarcastically.  
  
"No, I meant the first time! And after the first time we just… I don't know…" He sighed. "Well you know how intoxicating she can be! You did the same kind of thing with her yourself once!"  
  
"Wrong!" Chandler said. "In my case there was a little something called 'love' involved. I'd had a crush on her for YEARS, and you damn well know that, I confided that in you right after Janice and I broke up when she went back to her husband!"  
  
"Well then it IS like in your case, Chandler…" Joey said. "Look, I LOVE--"  
  
"No you don't!" Chandler bawled, cutting him off. "Don't you dare say that you do! Don't you dare even THINK that you do! Let me tell you a little something about love, Joseph. Being in love does not mean that you want the other person to do you! Being in love means wanting the other person's happiness."  
  
"I never said that--"  
  
"You betrayed me in every possible way!" Chandler cried, cutting him off again. "I even confided in you when Monica and I had problems! Little did I know that YOU were our problem!"  
  
"Chandler doesn't it matter at all that I HELPED you when you had problems, that I ADVISED you on how to make things right between the two of you again?" Joey asked, rising again.  
  
"Not when you only knew HOW to advice me because you were SCREWING her!"  
  
"Chandler--"  
  
"I thought you were my friend, I thought I could trust you! The worst betrayal ever is what I got in return."  
  
"We never meant to hurt you, Chandler I swear!"  
  
"Well what the hell did you think?" Chandler hissed. "That I would just shrug my shoulders and say 'thanks for returning her as good as new'? You know what, I, I cannot believe this! It's SICK, don't you understand that?"  
  
"Hey it was NOT sick!" Joey objected. "It was a lot of things, it was wrong, it was stupid but it was not sick! It was BEAUTIFUL even!"  
  
"Shut up!" Chandler yelled. "It was UGLY and it was sick and twisted!"  
  
"Well you weren't there Chandler, you don't know!"  
  
"The both of you satisfying perverted lusts isn't beautiful!" Chandler replied. "All I ever wanted was her! All I ever asked for and so much more than that! She was my best dream come true, my heart, my love, my LIFE! And you just couldn't leave her alone, could you? No, you had to send the little general in! You should call him the little TRAITOR!"  
  
"Dude--"  
  
"Quiet!" Chandler said, the anger shining in his eyes. "I just can't believe you did this! What if you hadn't ended it when you did, you probably would have continued seeing her when she was pregnant!"  
  
"Chandler her pregnancy wasn't exactly a picnic for me!" Joey said. "I mean, I had to wonder if she wasn't carrying MY child--"  
  
He got cut off by Chandler hitting him in the face. The force in the hit made him loose his balance, and he fell back down on the chair again. His hand went up and rubbed his aching cheek, and he realized he had gotten a few tears in his eyes.  
  
"Oh don't you EVER talk about Max like he was yours!" Chandler bawled. "Max is MY son! He's MINE! And you take my word for it you weasel, Monica is NEVER gonna have ANY baby together with you, she ain't EVER gonna carry your child, and you just TALKING about it is sick!"  
  
"Well Chandler I had to wonder!" Joey objected. "I was really scared the baby was mine!"  
  
"Well luckily enough for Max he got a father who WANTED him. A father who's not a slimy scumball driven only by his sex drive."  
  
"You're not being fare!" Joey said. "I made a damn mistake four years ago, I have been NOTHING but a great friend to you except for that!"  
  
"You may have been a friend before you did my wife, but your friendship ended the same second you even TOUCHED her! I don't call it friendship to deceive and lie, to keep somebody in the dark for four damn years! And especially not when your hypocrisy goes so far that you act like my friend during these years."  
  
"Damn it Chandler, I AM your friend!"  
  
"Like HELL you are!" Chandler yelled.  
  
"What wrong have I ever done you except for this, huh?" Joey asked. "Just minor stuff, you've done minor stuff too! And for crying out loud Chandler, you've done the same thing to me that I did to you four years ago."  
  
"I would never do anything this, this SICK!"  
  
"Remember Kathy, Chandler? I dated her, you made out with her."  
  
"Yes, I made out with her ONCE. I then confessed it all to you! And you weren't even in love with her, damn it Joey you KNOW how much I love Monica! And I was in love with Kathy, that's why I kissed her, but you're not in love with Mon!"  
  
"You think you've got monopoly on loving her?" Joey asked. "Did you really think that someone so wonderful--"  
  
"Hey shut up!" Chandler yelled, and once again cut him off. "Just shut the hell up Joey, you don't know what love is! You don't know what it's like to give your heart to someone 100%, to know you'd gladly die for that someone, to be there for her whenever she needs it and to just be unable to function without her! But I do! And I also know what it's like to find out that the woman you love is a damned slut."  
  
"Hey!" Joey said, annoyed. "Don't talk like that about her!"  
  
"Oh what are you, the knight in shining armour?" Chandler hissed. "She ain't Monica Monogamy, she is EVERYTHING I thought she could NEVER be! I thought she was good-hearted, faithful, EMPATHIC! All she is is a deceiving tramp."  
  
"How can you say that?" Joey asked. "How can you stand here and first say that you love her, then say that she's a tramp? Look, she did something wrong, and I don't expect you to be able to look at her and be unaffected by what she did! But come on Chandler, she LOVES you so much! She wouldn't do it with me doggy-style, because she said that was your favourite position!"  
  
"Oh, well that changes everything then, let's crack open a bottle of champagne and Monica and I will renew our vows" Chandler spit out, full of sarcasm. "What are you trying to do here, you can't even defend yourself, let alone her! You're not my friend anymore, and if I could, I would go back in time and make sure you never were."  
  
Chandler turned on his heel and stormed out.  
  
*  
  
Monica lay on her side on the bed, staring into the wall. The tears wouldn't stop falling. The night had been hideous, Chandler had been so frustrated and so hurt. He had banged his fist in the wall crying 'no!' and later even thrown things while shouting 'no', and he had been as close to crying as she had seen him since the first time he'd held Max. It was a real wonder that he hadn't woken the kids up, but somehow they had stayed asleep.  
  
By the end of the night Chandler hadn't even let her be near him. He had recoiled as if she had leprosy and sometimes even whimpered slightly whenever she got closer than two meters. Finally he had locked himself in the bathroom and shaved off the beard. Monica didn't dare to ask him why. Then he had gone downstairs and fixed breakfast for the kids, and called Joey up. Then he had returned upstairs to get dressed. He had tried to avoid Monica, but she had tried to talk to him. He had only answered her in short, cut off phrases, and she had eventually given up. And now Joey was there.  
  
She could hear Chandler yell every now and then, but she couldn't hear what he was yelling. More tears fell down her cheeks. Her sweet, gentle Chandler had never yelled at her, she hadn't heard him yell for an eternity. But she knew he was yelling now. Twice she heard Joey raising his voice as well, but she didn't know what he was saying either. Then it seemed to get quiet.  
  
After ten minutes, Joey showed up in the doorway. He had gone up to yell at her, he was furious with her for telling Chandler without consulting him, Joey, first. This wasn't her thing alone to tell him it was just as much Joey's. But when he saw her on the bed in such a mess, he didn't have the heart to yell at her. His heart still belonged to her, she was his soft spot and he couldn't be mad at her for long. Chandler had always said that it was impossible to be mad at her for more than twenty minutes, and Joey knew what he'd meant. He wondered if Chandler would say the same thing today.  
  
"Oh Monica…" he said and walked over to the bed. He sat down next to her and put an arm on her shoulder.  
  
"He's so hurt, Joey…" Monica sobbed. "And it's all my fault. I have never seen him like this, never seen ANYBODY like this, not with that look that's in his eyes… Have you seen the look in his eyes?"  
  
"He looks older… and worn…" Joey said slowly.  
  
"And look at you…" Monica said. "Did he hit you? Your eye…"  
  
"I… mentioned that when you were expecting Max I kept wondering if he could be mine. And Chandler hit me" Joey told her.  
  
"I didn't think he was gonna react this way" Monica sobbed in a whisper. "I mean, I knew he would be shaken and that he would take it hard… But it's been four years, I guess I just thought he would be able to see that we don't want each other you and I, and that we know it was a mistake…"  
  
"Well how would you react if he told you that a couple of years ago he had an affair with Phoebe?" Joey asked, trying to look at the situation rationally.  
  
"I don't know" Monica said. "I really don't, I think I would be too shocked to know what my reaction was. But I just can't stand the look in his eyes, and his face, and the tone of his voice… His desperation is driving me insane, I can't stand to look at him, to hear it. He even vomited last night, Joey! He was so disgusted…"  
  
Joey sighed deeply and wished he could say something to comfort her. He couldn't. In fact, he was close to tears himself.  
  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the lovely couple" Chandler's sarcastic voice said.  
  
Joey and Monica both looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, arms crossed and casually leaning against the doorpost. Monica sat up and avoided his eyes. She couldn't handle the look in his eyes.  
  
"Now let me see what they are saying to each other…" Chandler continued in sarcasm. Then he started mocking them, using an Italian accent for Joey and a feminine voice for Monica. "'Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay'. 'Oh honey do you really think so?'. 'Yes. He has to come to his senses'. 'But what if he doesn't?''"  
  
"Chandler enough!" Joey said, seeing the look in Monica's wide eyes. "Don't act like that."  
  
"Don't sit like that" Chandler replied. "You two are so sick. Pathetic. You both go on about how it's over between you and how you don't feel anything. Then as soon as you're alone you cuddle up on my bed."  
  
"Chandler…" Monica said. "Honey please don't be like this… Please don't take cheap shots at us, you're bigger than that, aren't you?"  
  
"You shut up" Chandler said, and turned to Joey. "You, get off my bed. And I mean NOW!"  
  
The last sentence was screamed out, and Joey darted up from the bed. Chandler turned his eyes to Monica, and spoke to her this time with his voice full of hatred and spite.  
  
"What the fuck are you crying about? Huh? I don't want to see a single tear in your face, IS THAT CLEAR? *I* am the one who should cry here if anyone should, you're only reaping what you've sown! So stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about! And I mean it!"  
  
Monica bit her lower lip and used the back of her hand to dry her wet cheeks. She had to fight hard not to cry, she was sad, scared and hurt. He had been a mess during the night but he had not once said anything in an angry tone. Now he was more mad than she had ever seen him.  
  
"You two are the most disgusting people I have ever met!" Chandler said, and he seemed to get more angry each time he spoke. "Damn it, I LOVED you guys! I loved you and trusted you! The two people I loved, the slut and the home wrecker."  
  
"CHANDLER!" Monica said sharply. "What's your problem, you've never talked like this before!"  
  
"Oh I'll tell you what my problem is!" Chandler hissed. "My problem is you screwing my best friend, Monica!"  
  
"Don't call it screwing, I hate that" Monica said and took a deep breath to keep her tears at bay.  
  
"Well maybe I should go back through time four and a half years and say 'don't screw Joey, I hate that'!" Chandler replied, then turned to Joey. "And what the hell are you still doing here? GET OUT! NOW!"  
  
Joey walked out of the bedroom and Chandler gave him a look filled with such spite and disgust when he passed him that Joey for a second wondered if he was going to be hit again.  
  
"I just want to make one thing absolutely clear!" Chandler said once Joey was outside the bedroom. "From this moment on, you are no longer a friend of mine Joey. And you," he said and turned to Monica, "some wife you are!"  
  
"Chandler come on, it was a MISTAKE!" Joey said.  
  
"A MISTAKE?" Chandler yelled and turned his head to stare at Joey. "That might have worked if you had done her ONCE, but for three goddamned months, THREE GODDAMNED MONTHS?"  
  
"CHANDLER!" Monica said loudly, causing him to turn and look at her again.  
  
"And what the hell do YOU want?" he asked.  
  
"The boys, Chandler!" Monica said. "Don't yell, think about the boys, do they really need to hear this?"  
  
Chandler sighed deeply. He didn't want his sons to have to hear this, she was right.  
  
"Then go get them dressed and ready. I'm calling Ross, he can come pick them up. I am far from through with the two of you."  
  
"Why don't I call Ross, I don't want the boys to see that I've cried" Monica said.  
  
"You're just feeling sorry for yourself, that's why you're crying, it's pathetic! What, are you afraid that they'll see you for who you really are? GO, Monica!" Chandler said.  
  
She jumped off the bed and dried her best to dry her cheeks as she hurried out of the bedroom and down the stairs to go talk to the children. When she ran down the stairs Chandler turned to Joey and gave him a look that could kill. His voice wasn't loud when he spoke next, it was cold and calm.  
  
"I am not a killer, but if I ever did kill someone then by god I swear that that someone would be you" he said to Joey, then walked past him to go call Ross.  
  
  
Okay, so please review. And feel free to give me suggestions, 'cause even though I've planned how this thing is going to end I might change my mind... :)! Btw, I'm sorry all Joey and Phoebe fans but I'm personally an anti-fan of theirs, I don't think they should be together, so they won't get together in this series. You're gonna have to look elsewhere for that... But please review even if you're a fan of them, lol! 


	9. Adultery9

Adultery, Part9  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: The next part. Not too much happens... This is far from my best work, so consider yourself warned, :)!  
  
  
Thirty minutes later the three of them met up in Chandler's upstairs office. Monica sat down on the sofa and kept her wide open eyes staring into space, or possibly at some spot on the floor. Joey stood by the wall, afraid of what Chandler's reaction would be if he glanced at Monica. Chandler stood by the door, with his arms crossed just like before.  
  
"Okay, now I want to know everything" he said.  
  
"Look Chandler, I've already told you that neither of us really know how it all happened…" Monica said. "I mean, all I can remember is that suddenly we were kissing, and one thing led to another and then we had gone all the way…"  
  
"I don't give a shit about that right now" Chandler said. He started walking across the room. "Give me details of what you did together. I want to know it all, every sick detail."  
  
"Chandler we don't really remember--" Joey tried, but got cut off.  
  
"Did she blow you?" Chandler asked, stopping by his desk. He turned to look at Monica. "Did you?" He looked back at Joey. "Did she?"  
  
"No" Joey said with a head shake. "She didn't want to have any oral sex."  
  
"Liar" Chandler said. "Monica is always up for that. Aren't you, honey?" The last bit had been added with loads of sarcasm.  
  
"Yes…" Monica said so low that the guys could barely hear her. "But I never had any with Joey."  
  
"She's telling the truth" Joey said. "Look, she told me that you were the only one she'd ever given oral sex to, and she wanted to keep it that way. And she didn't want me to give her any, because she thought it got too personal that way."  
  
"What are you, some hooker who doesn't kiss?" Chandler said to Monica.  
  
"Chandler stop talking like that!" Joey said.  
  
"I talk to her however I want to!" Chandler hissed at him. "And you can keep your big fat mouth shut until I ask you anything!"  
  
"Who are you, some sort of cop in a TV movie?" Joey said, getting annoyed. "Chandler just because we did something wrong it doesn't give you the right to--"  
  
"Correction, asshole!" Chandler interrupted. "I will talk to you two in whatever way I want to, I will say anything I feel like, you two have NOTHING to say about what's right! Because what's right is to not cheat, especially not with your husband's best friend!"  
  
"Yes, but honey do you have to talk like this?" Monica asked. "Can't you please be civil?"  
  
"Can't you please be faithful?" Chandler replied. "No, wait, sorry, my bad, that's already too late. You CAN'T be faithful."  
  
"Chandler damn it I--" she began, but Chandler cut her off.  
  
"You know, last morning when I woke up I was very much in love, and I was happier than you could imagine! Today I am miserable, I am DISGUSTED but most of all I'm devastated!" Chandler said. "You destroyed my life completely. Now how does it feel?"  
  
"Chandler it's not fair of you to say that!" Monica objected and tried hard not to cry again. "Look you've only just found out, can't you and I work on this?"  
  
"What's there to work on?" Chandler asked. "Some no-good marriage that means squad to you? A marriage that's only a marriage to the NAME?"  
  
"That's not true" Monica objected, and looked down on her hands.  
  
"Like hell it isn't."  
  
"Well what do you want us to do?" Joey asked. "Just tell us and we'll do it!"  
  
"No" Chandler said. "Because the only thing I want from you two is some sort of guarantee that this never actually happened. And you could never give that to me because it DID happen. I wish to god that I had never met you, Joey Tribbiani."  
  
"So you're just gonna give up on 18 years of friendship and 12 years of love?"  
  
"Correction. YOU gave up on it. And it wasn't after eighteen years of love and twelve years of friendship, because you gave up four years ago." He turned and gave Monica an icy stare. "And thanks a lot for bothering to let ME know that it was all over. You know, you could have spared me all of this by just telling me at once. You could have spared me this damn pain and four years of humiliation."  
  
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Monica objected. "Honey I love you! Very, very much! We BOTH do!"  
  
"To hell with your so-called love!" Chandler yelled. "To hell with it! I don't want it! I'd rather take a walk through Dante's stupid funnel than to be loved by the two of you! Your love stinks, and it's the kind of love that shouldn't be allowed to even exist! All it does is hurt people like hell!"  
  
"Calm down!" Joey yelled back.  
  
"Shut up!" Chandler yelled back at him. "Shut the hell up! Do you realize how appalling you are? Do you realize that only a really SICK person would do what you've done to me!"  
  
"I'm SORRY, okay?" Joey said. "I'm SORRY! I can't do much more than saying that I'm sorry now! And for the record, what's your love really worth if you can't offer forgiveness to those who you love?"  
  
"What are you gonna say next, 'to err is human, to forgive is divine'?" Chandler asked, walking closer to Joey. "Don't stand here and expect me to feel anything but hatred and spite towards you, Joey! Nobody who does something like you did is worth loving!"  
  
"Chandler you're going too far!" Monica objected.  
  
"Shut up!" Chandler hissed at her. "Don't think that ANYTHING you say will help HIS case!"  
  
"How can you just go from loving me as a friend to hating my guts?" Joey asked, his voice shivering.  
  
"You ought to know" Chandler replied. "After all, you were the one who one second couldn't do anything to betray a friend and then the next groped my wife and did her! I am so DISGUSTED by you, you're the worst hypocrite I have ever know and it makes me want to puke!"  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry for falling in lo--" Joey began angrily, but got silenced by another hit in the face from Chandler.  
  
Monica let out a cry, and then burst into tears. She had never seen Chandler hit anyone before, and she could never have imagined that Joey would be one to be hit. Joey raised his hand to his mouth and carefully touched the part of his lip and cheek that Chandler had hit. He could taste blood in his mouth, and he was starting to get worried that Chandler might go too far.  
  
"You have no idea what love really is!" Chandler hissed at him. "I love Monica. I do. No matter what happens, I don't think I could stop loving her. You would stop loving her as soon as someone in a short skirt walks by. You don't deserve someone good. Although I might think you deserve Monica. She's just your type, commitment doesn't mean shit to her!"  
  
Monica tried her best to stop crying. When Chandler said that he would love her no matter what, she had felt relieved and happy, but when he continued she realized that he wouldn't let her off the hook so easily.  
  
"Chandler please leave him alone, please don't hurt Joey anymore" she begged. "Please don't do anything you'll regret. You're not like this really Chandler, we all know it."  
  
Chandler gave Joey one more look.  
  
"I have nothing more to say to you. You're a pathetic scumbag, and I don't want to even hear your name again in the future. And if you come anywhere near me, or my sons, I don't know what I'll do with you. No matter how much time you spend in a box Joey, you won't be forgiven. Although locking you inside a box for the rest of time is something I wouldn't mind doing right now. But once you've left this house today, don't ever come back."  
  
He turned and walked over to the desk. He placed his hands on the desk and closed his eyes hard, leaning his head down. Joey slowly rose to his feet, the hit had knocked him down. He looked at the hand that had been touching his bruised lip and cheek, and he saw blood on it. He knew Chandler could be serious about what he had said. He had never seen Chandler this angry before. But he also knew that Chandler might change his mind soon, once he had calmed down a little. The only thing he really knew for sure, was that from now on Chandler wouldn't be his close friend anymore.  
  
"Honey…" Monica softly said to Chandler. "Honey listen to yourself. This isn't you. You've always been able to forgive, why can't you take some time to calm down and then think about this rationally?"  
  
"Because I'm through with you taking advantage of me" Chandler answered. "I am so sick of you using my willingness to forgive, to being cheated on and deceived. You had all of my trust in your hands Monica, what you did with it was your own deal. You threw it away along with the condom you used when you first slept with him."  
  
"I believe that trust is more important than monogamy" Monica said, quoting 'Affirmation', which was one of Chandler's favourite songs. "And I think that I managed to keep your trust because I told you what had been between Joey and me. I let you know, I gave you the truth."  
  
"I believe in karma, what you give and what you get returned" Chandler replied, quoting the chorus of 'Affirmation'. "I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned. I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side. I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye." He looked up at her. "So do you know what you've got, Monica? I sure hope so. Because it's time for you to say goodbye."  
  
*  
  
Monica and Joey were quiet for a long time. Both were lost in thought.  
  
Joey felt like hell, both physically and emotionally. His eye hurt from before, he realized he would get something of a black eye there. He had stopped bleeding in his mouth, and he didn't dare to check if any of his teeth felt loose. They probably didn't, Chandler hadn't hit him to knock anything out, but he didn't want to scare himself by telling himself that some teeth felt loose when he touched them. His lip was getting an ugly bruise. He sat down on a desk chair with a sigh.  
  
Monica had long watched the door where Chandler had stormed out, but now she didn't take her eyes off her hands. She was slowly twirling her wedding ring, feeling secure in knowing it was there. She knew that when she had to take it off was when she'd lost everything. The ring had from the first day been a source of comfort and security for her, it had symbolised Chandler's love for her and it stood for everything she had wanted when she was little. A marriage full of love, where she could feel completely secure. The knowledge that someone loved her very much and that she wasn't going to die alone. For her it symbolised the knowledge that she would always have someone to fall back on no matter what happened. As long as his ring was still on her finger. And Chandler's last words before storming out had scared her.  
  
"Oh god Joey…" she said, finally breaking the silence. "I'm gonna die alone."  
  
Joey let out a frustrated moan and rose to his feet. He started pacing front and back in the small office, clearly annoyed.  
  
"Damn it Monica, is that all you can think about?" he asked. "We've lost EVERYTHING! Everything! We've done something incredibly stupid and we're gonna pay for it the rest of our lives. And all you can worry about is your stupid fear of ending up an old maid! Monica don't you realize what's really happened? We've lost it all! You name it, we lost it!"  
  
"Oh you don't think I know that?" Monica asked and rose to her feet, annoyed as well. "I lost my future! My entire future! A future I depended on!"  
  
"Yeah, well it's all your fault that we're even in this situation!" Joey said, and stopped pacing.  
  
"Uh, excuse me?" Monica objected. "I think you need to back up the photo album there, see in mine, YOU were the one to initiate the first kiss! And for the record it was because of you that we ended up in bed together in the first place!"  
  
"Don't blame me for you flirting with me when I was getting drunk!" Joey said. "And wasn't even talking about that! You brought this whole thing down on us when you told Chandler! What the hell did you have to go and do that for, huh? Now he's mad, heartbroken and going through something horrible, I'm standing here with a bruised face, a lost best friend and a broken heart, and you're standing here with a heartbreak as well and a broken future! And you never even gave me a chance! Not one chance to get prepared for this!"  
  
"You had four years."  
  
"Well everything is all gone to hell right now!" Joey replied. "And it's all thanks to YOU! Three people with heartbreaks, ruined friendships and betrayed trusts! So tell me, what was so important that it was worth all of this?"  
  
"I just couldn't live with it anymore, Joe!" Monica defended herself. "I just couldn't pretend any longer that this thing between you and I never happened! I couldn't let him think things about me that weren't true, couldn't let him love me for someone I'm not! And sooner or later you have to stand for what you've done! That's what I want to teach my boys, to take responsibility for your actions!"  
  
"Well your four years late for that!" Joey replied, getting more annoyed. "And you could for fucks sake have given me at least a hint that you were gonna tell him. What, you think this is all about YOU? Get off your narcissistic cloud and realize that this affects two more people! Four if you count Lukas and Max, who will have to suffer from the consequences this will have on yours and Chandler's marriage. Seven people if you count all our friends! And how do you think they'll see me after this, huh? I'm gonna get the total blame for this whole damn thing!"  
  
"Oh that's what you think?" Monica said. "No, you're wrong! I'M gonna be the one who gets the blame, because I shouldn't have cheated in the first place, let alone with you! They're gonna see me for a tramp, just like Chandler does!"  
  
Her voice broke when she said his name, and she slowly sank back down on the couch, crying.  
  
"Your tears have no affect on me" Joey said, knowing it was a lie. "I'm gonna leave now. I don't think I'm too welcome to stay right now. I don't think I'll ever be again." He walked to the door and stopped in the doorway. He turned and looked at her. "Good luck saving your marriage." Then he left.  
  
*  
  
Chandler sat on the bed and stared blankly on the wall. He had Monica's engagement ring in his hands, he was playing absentmindedly with it, letting it go from one hand to the other.  
  
Right now he felt blank. Completely blank. During the night he had been so shocked and so hurt, he had still thought it was some sick joke she was pulling on him. But then when he had talked to Joey, when he had seen the friend who had betrayed him, he had realized, known for sure, that it was the truth. Two of the people he trusted the most were backstabbers, and it hurt so much that these two people were Monica and Joey. Why did it had to be them? Why his wife and his best friend?  
  
He had been very angry when he'd seen Joey. And then when he saw Joey together with Monica on the bed he had just lost it completely, he had gotten so angry that he had to vent his anger, take it out on someone. He was afraid to go anywhere near the boys, because he didn't want them to have to suffer from his anger. So he took it out on the two people who had caused it. But then in the middle of the yelling he had suddenly felt everything wash off of him except for the loneliness and the hurt. He felt too drained to be angry right then, and of fear of becoming mushy with them he had ended up storming out.  
  
Now he just felt empty. Crying wasn't for him, but even if it had been he probably wouldn't have cried. Right now he wasn't really sad. He was depressed, but not sad as a separate emotion. He felt like just crawling under the covers and just stay there until all these emotions went away. But he knew that they never would.  
  
He tried so hard to hate Monica, but that was hard too. Joey was easier to hate, because even though he'd loved Joey as a friend he'd never felt anything for him as strong as what he'd felt for Monica. He had placed his entire future in her hands, she had just thrown it all away. He felt like such a fool for not even realizing it sooner. He couldn't believe that they had managed to have an ongoing affair for months, without him noticing it. The lyrics of an old song from the beginning of the century came to him, he was reminded of them when he thought about his situation.  
  
Baby  
I know the story  
I've seen the picture  
It's written all over your face  
Tell me  
What's the secret  
That you've been hiding  
And who's gonna take my place?  
I should have seen it coming  
I should have read the signs  
Anyway  
I guess it's over  
  
I can't believe that I'm the fool again  
I thought this love would never end  
How was I to know?  
You never told me  
Can't believe that I'm the fool again  
And I who thought you were my friend  
How was I to know  
You never told me  
  
Chandler kept staring on the wall and wondered what he was going to do now.  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: The characters don't belong to me, but you all knew that. The lyrics for "Affirmation" are owned by Savage Garden I guess. I don't know how owns the lyrics for "Fool Again", but ten dollars say it ain't Westlife... :) The song isn't mine at least, but everyone knew that already! And also, if the lyrics aren't really correct then that's 'cause I don't really like Westlife and I hardly listen to them, so I don't know the lyrics too well.  
  
So please review (help my review rate get better, lol!) and tell me what you think. Part 10 might take a while, I'm swamped at school right now and I put schoolwork before fic writing... Oh, and also, I would like to ask for reviews in English only, please. I got a pair in French, which I don't speak too well, and it's a shame that I can't understand what those reviews said... So please, keep it in English! Thanks!  



	10. Adultery10

Adultery, Part10  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: Part 10 of I don't know how many... waaaaaaay more than I'd originally planned and actually want to write, at least...  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters don't belong to me. And sometimes I doubt the people who actually DO own them would even realize I had borrowed their characters if they read it, I mean they're pretty off-character judging by some reviews... :)!  
  
  
The following week wasn't easy for any of the three. Chandler hardly spoke to Monica, and avoided her as much as he could. The first days they still slept in the same bed together, but Chandler found he couldn't sleep when she was there. It just drove him crazy to know what she had done, and to wonder if she had done it in their bed. He ended up spending the nights on the couch, which made Monica feel even worse about herself. Knowing that he couldn't even stand to sleep in the same room as her was terrible, and she started feeling more and more sorry for herself. She sometimes completely forgot about what Chandler must be feeling, she was so involved in her own pain.  
  
Joey crawled into a shell during that week. He didn't dare to speak to Chandler, didn't want to speak to Monica and didn't know how to act around all the people who didn't know about the affair.  
  
Max didn't really notice too much that something was wrong, his parents didn't act much different around him. Lukas noticed the difference though, even though he had no clue what was really going on. He knew his grandparents had gotten divorced when his Dad had been nine, the same age Lukas was now, and that scared him. He didn't want his parents to get divorced. They tried to act as normal around him, but he noticed that his father was very hurt and upset over something and his mother looked so guilty. He wondered what she had done.  
  
*  
  
On Saturday the week after Chandler found out, he called Phoebe, Rachel and Ross up and asked them to come over for dinner. He informed Monica that they would be having dinner guests after he'd made the phone calls, and she knew that he hadn't said anything to her earlier because he wanted to get back at her and right now he did so by causing her a lot of trouble. He knew very well that it took quite a while for her to prepare dinner when they were having guests, especially if it was this short notice.  
  
Once their three friends were there, Monica realized what might be up. Joey hadn't been invited, Chandler was making a clear statement. The other three looked a little confused, but nobody said anything until they were seated for dinner.  
  
"So how come Joey's not here?" Ross asked.  
  
"Yeah, where is he?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Joey?" Chandler said. "Oh he won't be around."  
  
"Why not?" Phoebe asked.  
  
"Well why don't you tell them Monica?" Chandler said to his wife, and looked at her from his seat across the table.  
  
Monica couldn't get a word out. She couldn't believe he would do this. Why did he want to humiliate her like this?  
  
"Chandler do you have to do this?" she said with a sad sigh.  
  
"U-hu" Chandler said. "Now come on Monica, they want to know."  
  
Monica looked from one of them to the other, unknowing of what to say to them. What would they think of her once it was all out? What would they think of Joey? Wasn't it bad enough that she had lost Chandler and Joey, did she have to loose everyone else as well? She was afraid of telling them.  
  
"Monica, what?" Rachel asked. "Why are you looking at us like that?"  
  
"Oh it's her new martyr thing" Chandler explained. "She's been doing it a lot lately. Now come on Monica, tell them."  
  
Monica took a deep breath and decided to get it all over with.  
  
"I.. I'm the reason Joey's not here tonight" she said.  
  
"Oh yeah? How come?" Ross asked.  
  
"Because last week I told Chandler something…"  
  
"Are you having another baby?" Rachel asked, sounding excited.  
  
"And what would that have to do with JOEY?" Ross asked Rachel, who shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"You never know, it could have a LOT to do with Joey" Chandler said.  
  
"What's he talking about?" Phoebe asked Monica.  
  
"Well…" Monica said. "You see, what I told Chandler was… that Joey and I…"  
  
"Hate each other?" Rachel filled in, obviously thinking it was some sort of exciting drama.  
  
"Couldn't be further from the truth" Chandler said with a glare on Monica.  
  
"Guys, no more beating around the bush. Just tell us, okay?" Ross said.  
  
"Joey and I…" Monica began again, but then she felt like she lost all courage when she saw the look on Chandler's face. It was cold as stone. She took a deep breath again, then said it. "Joey and I had an affair."  
  
"Right… ?" Rachel said, obviously not understanding what she was talking about.  
  
"I was seeing him on the side. Four years ago" Monica added, to make the situation clear.  
  
Phoebe threw the napkin she had been wiping her mouth with on the plate, rose and left the room, looking very upset. Rachel's hand had reached up to her mouth and Ross just looked shocked. Then Rachel rose as well and went over to Chandler, hugging him.  
  
*  
  
An hour later there was a knock on Joey's door. He sighed and rose from the recliner and went to open. He hoped it was either Chandler or Monica. He wanted Chandler to forgive him, to somehow be able to bury the hatchet. And he wasn't over Monica, and he knew that just getting to see her would make it easier for him right now. But it was neither Monica nor Chandler. It was Phoebe, who entered without asking and looked mad.  
  
"Phoebs? What's up?"  
  
"I don't believe you!" she replied, turning around and throwing her jacket and purse on the floor. "I just can't believe this!"  
  
"Can't believe what?"  
  
"That you could do something like that! And with HER!"  
  
Joey knew what she was talking about. He wondered how she had found out. Phoebe started pacing back and forth.  
  
"Damn it Joey, I've made such a fool out of myself!"  
  
"When?" Joey asked, confused.  
  
"Well duh!" Phoebe said. "I told you I had a crush on you! I actually thought you might have one for me too! And all this time when I've had those feelings you've been doing it with my best friend! With my best friend who is MARRIED!"  
  
"Phoebe I didn't do it to hurt you!" Joey defended himself. "And come on, I didn't even know you had these feelings until when Monica and I were already broken up!"  
  
"I just, I can't believe it Joey! I don't understand! God, I'm just the biggest idiot ever, aren't I? For not seeing it."  
  
"Phoebs, you are not an idiot."  
  
"Well how come you never told me?" Phoebe asked, and stopped pacing. "You just let me make a huge fool out of myself, you didn't even let me know!"  
  
"Well what the hell was I supposed to do?" Joey asked, starting to get annoyed. "Tell you but not Chandler?"  
  
"Why her?" Phoebe asked, knowing that she was close to tears. "I was getting a divorce, I would be single soon. And I loved you. But you didn't want me. You chose her. Why, Joey?"  
  
"Come on Phoebs, it was OVER between Monica and I when you came to me!"  
  
"I just can't believe it!" Phoebe continued, not listening to him. "Why was Monica so special? What's so wonderful about her? What quality does she have that is so amazing that you would sleep with her even though she was married to your best friend? She doesn't love you Joey, she never did!"  
  
"Do you need to throw that in my face?" Joey angrily asked. "Look, you could never understand!"  
  
"Damn right about that! I mean, Monica was one of my closest friends, but now…"  
  
"But now what?" Joey asked. "She's not anymore? She cheats on her husband and you're no longer her friend?"  
  
"I can't believe she would do that to me! And to Chandler! And to Lukas! And honestly I can't believe she would do it to you!"  
  
"Hold your horses just one second" Joey said. "She didn't do anything to YOU. Come on Phoebs, she didn't have the slightest idea you had feelings for me."  
  
"Well knowing it wouldn't have stopped her!"  
  
"How can you say that about your best friend?"  
  
"Because knowing how damn much Chandler loves her didn't stop her! Why would it make any difference if she knew I felt for you?"  
  
"Phoebs…" Joey said with a sigh. "Do you have any idea how guilty she felt? She cried after the first times we were together!"  
  
"The fact that she ever stopped crying says it all. As well as the fact that you did it more than once. If she cared she would have ended the affair. I feel like I don't know her at all."  
  
"Well I do. And I love her" Joey said.  
  
"How good" Phoebe said and bit her lower lip to stop the tears from falling. "Then you and her can go reunite and then move somewhere and the rest of us can forget you ever existed!"  
  
"She's not gonna go anywhere with me" Joey said. "You know, weather anybody realizes it or not, I've gotten my punishment!"  
  
"Oh and what might that punishment be?" Phoebe said with her voice full of sarcasm. "That Max wasn't yours?"  
  
"No! I've hurt my best friend like hell, I've lost him forever! I've fallen in love with a woman I can never have, someone who doesn't want me for real, who might have once but certainly not now! And I just can't get her out of my head Phoebs, I'm crazy about her! It's been four years, I'm still crazy about her! And I know for sure that she doesn't feel it back! The first and possibly only time I fall in love for real! And my feelings for her have brought down the thunder, to put it mildly! Now if everyone knows I can pretty much kiss my friendship with Ross goodbye! And Rachel, she's gonna end up disliking me just because everyone else does! Plus I've managed to hurt you pretty bad in the process. And just thinking about how much this is gonna hurt Lukas and Max, and how it's gonna affect their lives and their look on love and marriage drives me insane! Do you think it's in any way easy to live with all of this guilt, Phoebe?"  
  
"You only get what you deserve. For treating us all so bad."  
  
"I only did this to one person. The only person I betrayed was Chandler. But now everyone's gonna punish me for it!"  
  
"Well you can't feel sorry for yourself" Phoebe said. "This is all your own fault, from start to finish. No matter how big part Monica has in all of this, you've still had your free will all along. I don't know you either. I thought that my five closest friends were people I knew better than I knew myself, and that they knew me that well. And to find out that two of them are such false people who have given a third of them emotional scars that will last for a lifetime or five, that's probably the worst realisation I've done in all my lives! Goodbye, Joey!"  
  
She walked past him and closed the door. Joey sunk down in a recliner with a heavy sigh.  
  
"Tree down…" he said sarcastically. "Two to go."  
  
*  
  
Monica found Chandler in the bedroom once everyone had left, sitting on the bedside.  
  
"Well am I punished enough now?" she asked. "Being humiliated in front of my friends, loosing their trust for all time, being yelled at by Rachel… Or does it have to be more?"  
  
"Right now I feel like I could just send you away to a death row in Texas and forget about you" Chandler replied.  
  
"Is my death of that little importance to you?" Monica asked. "That you think it's the only thing that cancels out what I've done?"  
  
"Pretty much…" Chandler said. Then he sighed. "Not at all."  
  
"We can't keep going on like this" Monica said. "I can't handle it. I can't. I still have emotions too, you know."  
  
"They're all dead inside of you" Chandler said. "You have no idea what emotion is anymore. And did you ever? All you think about is YOU, you go around feeling sorry for yourself and playing the role of the big martyr. Maybe someday someone will rip YOUR heart out and throw it in the trash, like you've done with me."  
  
"Having sex with someone else means you're no longer allowed to feel emotions?" Monica asked. "I love you so damn much, you think all I think about is ME? Chandler I'm breaking apart inside from seeing how this is affecting you."  
  
"How very noble of you" Chandler said in sarcasm. "Well in that case the matter is settled. Let's put this all behind us and live like nothing happened. I mean, sure, you cheated on me, humiliated me, broke all my trust, lied to me, deceived me and completely ruined everything important to me. But you feel a little sad about it, so then it's all okay."  
  
"I wasn't trying to…" Monica said, then paused. She had been about to say that she hadn't been trying to get him back, but that was a lie. "Look, I just couldn't lie to you anymore! I told you the truth because I think you deserved it!"  
  
"You've said that before. And honestly Ms. Geller, you don't want to know what I think YOU deserve…"  
  
"You're probably right about that" Monica agreed with a nod, shivering at the fact that he had called her Geller and not Bing. "Look, I want to make it up to you but I CAN'T!"  
  
"Well it wouldn't matter anyway, because what I want is someone who loves me. Not someone who… well, whatever you feel for me."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"No you stopped loving me because you slept with the horn dog."  
  
"Do you really think it works like that?" Monica asked, annoyed. She walked into the bedroom and got closer to him. "That one second I love you just as much as the day I married you, then the next Joey's lips are on mine and I no longer love you at all? Well think again! It doesn't work like that, I love you so!"  
  
"Wrong" Chandler said. "You're right about one thing. That love doesn't end just because you sleep with someone else. But for you to even be ABLE to sleep with someone else the love has to be gone. You can't feel what I felt for you and then just hop in to bed with your spouse's best friend! Certainly not that many times!"  
  
"It was just physical!" Monica defended herself.  
  
"Monica I ain't Doc Holliday and you ain't Big Nose Kate! I personally find it a bit unsatisfying when my wife gives her body to other men!"  
  
"How dare you call me a prostitute?" Monica asked. "You think I PAID him? Or that he paid ME? I never even got as much as a FLOWER from him, or a piece of chocolate!"  
  
"You just missed the entire point of what I was saying!" Chandler hissed, annoyed. He rose to his feet. "What I was saying was that when I married you I clearly heard you promise in front of the priest that you would forsake all others and give yourself only to me! I don't know about you, but to me that is a HOLY promise! I'm not a very religious man Monica, but I do believe in the sanctity of marriage! Don't think you can weasel yourself out of this by saying that it was just your body!"  
  
"If I wanted to weasel myself out of anything I would never have told you in the first place!"  
  
"No, you mean that if you'd wanted to CONTINUE weaselling yourself out of it. You know, you could have come clean with me right away. After the first time you slept with him you could have told me. I would have been devastated, but I've fallen in love with you enough to let one time be no time, but two times twice to many! And you know what else? If you had confessed to me when the affair had just ended, I would have been able to work through this with you! At least I think so! We would have a marriage today!"  
  
"I haven't signed any divorce papers, don't we still?" Monica asked.  
  
"Call this whatever the hell you want, but to me it ain't no marriage" Chandler replied. "Not after all that you've done. Having found out that two people I trusted so much did this to me and then kept it from me for so many years, and were planning on keeping it from me always, that makes it impossible. It's too hard!"  
  
"Well then why drag it out?" Monica asked, starting to cry. "Are you just out to pain me here? If you don't even want to give it your best shot then why haven't you filed for divorce yet?"  
  
"Because Monica it's not that easy for me!" Chandler said, frustrated. "Because you were right! You can't stop loving someone just in a second! I've loved you so much for over a decade, the feelings I have for you are such a large part of my life and of who I am! I want to forget any feeling I've ever felt for you, but I can't! I hate it! But I can't! I still love you, I still feel so great when I'm around you, the sight of you still warms my heart! But it is OVER Monica! What I love, it's just a MEMORY! Something that I once thought was real! SOMEONE I once thought was real! I don't love YOU, I love who I THOUGHT you were!"  
  
"I AM who you thought I was!" Monica objected.  
  
"No you're not. No more than I am the first man who ever walked on the moon. The person you are is a slut. That kind of bitch that you see in soap operas and TV movies. Hell, my life right now IS a TV movie! And you're the manipulative slut that everybody hates."  
  
Monica turned on her heel and ran out, tears falling down her cheeks. Chandler sat back down again, knowing that everything he had said was true except for one thing. He did still love her for who she was. He couldn't change that or deny that she had good sides. He just wanted nothing more to do with them right now.  
  
  
Please review! You must have some thought in your head after reading, let me know what it is! If you didn't like the fic then please leave me some constructive criticism and tell me how to improve... Thanks, :)!  



	11. Adultery11

Adultery, Part11  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: Not many parts to go now... I hope... Im gonna finish this series as soon as I can. I appologize for taking so long with writing new parts, but I'm swamped at school right now.  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters belong to Bright, Kauffman and Crane.  
  
  
Chandler woke up with a headache on a Sunday morning. Monica wasn't in bed next to him, she hadn't come to bed at all last night. He was thankful. He could never sleep if she lay next to him anymore, he always ended up getting up and going to sleep on the couch.  
  
He got out of bed and decided to get dressed first and take a pain pill later. He needed to work, his and Bill's firm was starting to suffer from their private lives. He took a shower and got dressed, deciding not to shave. He grabbed himself an aspirin from the jar that Monica kept in their bathroom and swallowed it down with some water.  
  
He walked over to his upstairs office and went inside. He turned the light on and saw Monica on the sofa bed, waking up from the sudden light. He suddenly got mad.  
  
"Get out" he coldly said.  
  
"Chandler?" she said sleepily and squinted. "I was just--"  
  
"How nice, maybe someday I'll care. Until then, get the hell out. I don't want you sleeping in here!"  
  
Monica sensed a long argument coming up. She wasn't in any mood for it, so she quickly got out of bed and started turning the sofa bed back into a sofa.  
  
"For crying out loud, don't you think I know how to do that?" Chandler hissed. "I said get out, and I meant it!"  
  
Monica angrily snorted at him, then hurried out. She went to their bedroom and stepped into the shower. Chandler sat down by the computer, not bothering to fixing the sofa bed. He started to catch up on some work he had fallen behind on.  
  
*  
  
Lukas sighed and managed to get his brother out of the crib bed. He was surprised that their mother hadn't already, but he was in no mood to ponder over what was going on. He realized that his parents were having trouble and he wondered if his father had managed to say something that hurt their mother. He seemed to know all her weak spots and he knew exactly what to say to hurt her. Lukas had never heard him do so, but he knew that he was capable of it.  
  
He decided not to help Max get dressed. It wasn't his responsibility. He left his brother and went downstairs to watch TV. Max came down after a few minutes and whined that he was hungry.  
  
"Well go talk to Mom or Dad" Lukas said. "I can't make you breakfast!"  
  
"I want French toast."  
  
"You're gonna have to get Mom to make that for you."  
  
Max looked grumpy.  
  
"But Mom's in the shower."  
  
"Well she can't be in there for long, can she?" Lukas pointed out. "Max shut up, I want to watch this!"  
  
"She's been in the shower a long time!"  
  
"Then she'll be out in a second."  
  
Max pouted, but realized that he wouldn't get anymore help from Lukas at this point. He went up the stairs to find his dad.  
  
*  
  
Chandler didn't even hear him enter, he was busy working. Max went up to him and stopped by his chair. Chandler didn't seem to notice him now either.  
  
"Dad I'm hungry" he said.  
  
"Then have some breakfast" Chandler mumbled, not thinking of the fact that he was talking to a three-year-old.  
  
"But I want French toast!"  
  
"Good for you" Chandler mumbled.  
  
"Dad!" Max whined. "Are you listening?"  
  
Chandler mumbled something and didn't look up. He kept his eyes on the computer screen and continued with his work while Max tried his best to get some attention.  
  
"I'm really hungry!"  
  
"Go talk to Luke, he can fix you breakfast!"  
  
"But I want French toast, Daddy!" Max whined again. "Lukas can't make that!"  
  
"Then talk to Mom, stop bugging me!"  
  
"But Mom's in the shower!"  
  
"She'll be out soon."  
  
"That's what Lukas said, but she's been in the shower for hours!"  
  
"I was talking to her fifteen minutes ago" Chandler mumbled.  
  
"Daddy, make me breakfast!" Max begged. "I'm starving!"  
  
"I don't have the time for that" Chandler mumbled and logged on to the Web to send a file. "Go knock on the bathroom door, your mother will get out of the shower in a minute!"  
  
"Dad!"  
  
"Max, I'm trying to work!" Chandler angrily said and gave him a glare. Then he returned his eyes to the computer screen. "Talk to Monica, stop bothering me!"  
  
Max sighed and left the room. He walked over to his parents' bedroom and entered. His mother was still in the shower, he could hear the water running. He went over and knocked on the door.  
  
"Mommy?"  
  
He got no answer. With a heavy sigh he went back downstairs where Lukas was still in front of the living room TV.  
  
"Lukas! Daddy won't make me breakfast and Mommy won't leave the shower! Make me breakfast, I'm hungry."  
  
"Eat a fruit" Lukas replied and gestured to the bowl on the dining table.  
  
"I don't want a fruit!"  
  
"Then go hungry. Your choice."  
  
Max frowned and came close to starting to cry. At least that would get him some attention. But then he changed his mind and went back to the kitchen. He managed to move a chair over to the counter, then he climbed up on it. He looked at the speed dial buttons on the phone and wondered which one went where. There were little notes that indicated that, his mother had made sure of that. But he was too little to read. He lifted the phone and pressed one of the buttons. He most likely knew whoever the number went to.  
  
"Hello?" he heard Phoebe answer.  
  
"Phoebe?" he said.  
  
"Yeah. Who is this?"  
  
"Max."  
  
"Max?" Phoebe said, surprised that he would call her. "What's up?"  
  
"I'm hungry. I want breakfast."  
  
"Okay…" Phoebe said, unsure.  
  
"Daddy won't help me. He says he has to work. And Lukas just sits in front of the TV. And Mommy won't get out of the shower. Could you come over and make me breakfast?"  
  
Phoebe held back a deep sigh. She wanted to tell him to go talk to his parents again, but knowing how shy Max was he most likely wouldn't have called her up if he didn't think he had to.  
  
"Okay Max… I'm gonna come over… But you know, your Mother's probably gonna be out of the shower before I even get out the door."  
  
"Thanks Phoebe."  
  
*  
  
After almost forty minutes in the shower Monica turned the water off. She had never showered for more than five minutes before, except for when she'd showered together with Chandler. But today she hadn't been in the shower for long before she had started to cry. And she knew how mad Chandler got each time he saw her crying or saw that she had cried. He didn't think she had anything to cry about since she had placed herself in this situation. And she was scared of his anger. He wasn't himself when he was mad like the way he was mad with her now. And she didn't think she could take much more of his anger. So she had stayed in the shower and cried for over twenty minutes, feeling more and more sorry for herself. Then she had stayed in the shower, hoping her eyes wouldn't be red and puffy once she got out.  
  
She dried herself and got dressed. She cast an eye on the clock and decided to go get Max dressed. But when she walked into his room he wasn't there, so she figured Chandler had taken a work break and dressed and fed him. She shrugged her shoulders and went downstairs to have some breakfast. She was starving. She wanted a pain pill as well, her head was aching after the crying she had done. She felt awful, as usual.  
  
She walked into the kitchen and saw to her surprise that Phoebe was there, making French toast. Max was sitting by the kitchen table eating and Lukas was opposite him eating breakfast as well, and reading a Donald Duck magazine. Melissa was seated next to Lukas, busy with a colouring book.  
  
All four of them looked up when they heard her enter. Phoebe looked accusing, Max looked disappointed and Lukas looked grumpy. He returned is eyes to the magazine after just a second. Melissa gave her a short glance as well, but Monica saw nothing special in her eyes.  
  
"Well hello Monica" Phoebe said sharply. She was obviously annoyed. "How nice of you to come downstairs. May I ask what in god's name you were doing in the shower for so long? Seriously Monica, what kind of mother are you?"  
  
Monica looked shocked and recoiled slightly. But she said nothing.  
  
"You know, you brought the whole situation on yourself. And in all honestly you deserve it. But if you wanna spend your time feeling sorry for yourself then go right ahead. That's all up to you. Even if I have to say that I don't think it's much like you to do so, but on the other hand, what do I know? You had us all fooled, didn't you? It's not much like who I thought you were to do what you did four years ago either, and especially not to keep quiet about it!"  
  
"What did she do?" Lukas asked, looking up from his magazine with a curious look on his face.  
  
"Curiosity killed the cat" Max said to his older brother who made a face at him.  
  
Phoebe saw the pleading look in Monica's eyes, begging her not to tell them. Phoebe got even more angry than she had been. It was an insult that Monica thought she would tell somebody else's children that their Mother had cheated on their Father. It was Monica's and Chandler's job to tell them, not Phoebe's. She ignored the question Lukas had asked and turned the stove off and pulled the frying pan away from the hotspot. She placed her hands on her hips and turned her attention back to Monica.  
  
"Where was I?" she asked. "Right… You know, feel sorry for yourself all you want to, but what kind of a mother are you when you take it out on your children? Max had to call me this morning and ask me to come over and make him breakfast because neither you nor your poor husband could be bothered! Now, I can understand Chandler, he's at least got something to be angry and upset about, but YOU?"  
  
Monica turned on her heel and fled. She had heard enough. She couldn't take yet another person yelling at her, it was all too much. She didn't have a single person on her side and everyone seemed to love telling her so and telling her why.  
  
She ran into the bedroom and slammed the door shut, then she threw herself on the bed. It was so unfair. She knew she had done something very wrong, but her friends were being unfair towards her. In just a second they had forgotten everything she had done for them and shared with them over the years.  
  
She didn't know which friend's clear side taking against her hurt the most. In one way it was Ross's. He took the side against his own sister. She had been there for him throughout all of her life, they had grown up together. They were family after all, yet now he sided against her without a second thought.  
  
In one way it was Rachel. Rachel had been her best friend for so many years, and they both knew that she wouldn't have the life she now had if it hadn't been for Monica. Monica had taken her in and helped her get her life in order after she walked out on Barry. And Rachel had known her a lot longer than she had known Chandler, they had been close friends for decades. Now Rachel seemed to despise her.  
  
And in one way it was Phoebe. If Rachel had been her best friend, Phoebe had been her most loyal. She had always known she could count on Phoebe to back her up and support her, and Phoebe as well owed her much. Now Phoebe seemed to be the one who was the most upset with her.  
  
She sighed deeply. She knew very well which friend it hurt the most to loose. It was Chandler.  
  
*  
  
Chandler looked up angrily when all of a sudden someone reached over and turned the computer screen off. He got a bit surprised when he saw it was Phoebe. But most of all he was angry.  
  
"Phoebs? What the hell are you doing here? And why the hell did you turn my computer screen off? I'm trying to get some work here, to you mind?"  
  
"Yes, I do mind" Phoebe said and grabbed him by the arm. She pulled him to his feet. "You and I and Monica are going to have a little chat."  
  
"Don't think so" Chandler said and yanked his arm free.  
  
"Oh but I do" Phoebe replied and grabbed his arm again. She dragged him with her.  
  
*  
  
Monica looked up when the door opened. She saw that Phoebe was dragging Chandler along with her, and she quickly sat up. She felt thankful that she hadn't been crying. At least Chandler couldn't get mad about seeing tears in her eyes.  
  
Phoebe pushed Chandler down next to Monica on the bed, and he demonstratively moved two more feet away from her. Phoebe shut the door and then walked over to them. Her hands were back on her hips and her eyes showed how angry she was.  
  
"You two have got to be kidding me!" she said.  
  
"No, YOU'VE got to be kidding ME" Chandler replied. "Damn it, I've got work to do! I don't have time to sit here and have some B-grade marital therapy session with a woman I'm not interested in saving anything marital with."  
  
Monica looked away. She hoped he would rise and leave. She hoped Phoebe would leave as well. She couldn't take hearing much more of Chandler's comments and quips, especially not since she had no idea if he was really serious or just really mad. And more yelling from Phoebe was also something she couldn't take.  
  
She looked up at Phoebe who had begun a long monologue on how irresponsibly they were acting and how wrong it was for them to put their own feelings above taking care of their sons. Chandler looked ashamed, and very guilty.  
  
"If you two don't get a grip I'm gonna make sure that Monica's parents take care of the boys until you two are able to! You can't ignore them like you've done today!" Phoebe angrily said. "Especially you Monica!"  
  
"Damn it I am not some sort of slave!" Monica cried. "For crying out loud, why am *I* the worst one in this case? I was in the shower for crying out loud! Chandler was just sitting by his rusty old computer, he's the one who told Max to his face that he couldn't be bothered making him breakfast! I was in the shower, I never spoke to Max! I thought he was still in bed! Yet somehow I'm the one who did the most wrong, explain that to me!"  
  
She looked at Phoebe, who said nothing, and then at Chandler who looked more guilty. She felt slightly comforted by the look on his face. It felt good to know that she could make him feel bad by saying things just like he did with her all the time these days.  
  
Finally Phoebe spoke again.  
  
"You two have got to figure something out! You can't go on like this. Not when you have two sons who are directly affected by everything you do! Don't you realize how bad they feel? I can tell you, they're both feeling depressed over how their parents are acting together at the moment! You two have got to figure out a way to keep your problems away from the children, at least until you know what you're gonna do about them."  
  
Monica jumped off the bed. She was sick of it all by now.  
  
"I'm moving out" she declared, then left the bedroom.  
  
Phoebe stared after her in shock. She had never expected that move to come from Monica. She turned her eyes to look at Chandler, unable to believe that Monica had just said what she had said. Chandler gave a short sob, then fell back on the bed, covering his eyes with his hands.  
  
  
Review please. Any thoughts, comments or suggestions are very welcome. And if you didn't like it then please give me constructive criticism! I'd really appreciate your opinions on how I could make it better!  



	12. Adultery12

Adultery, Part12  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: The second-last part of this series. No other introduction necessary, only that you should read the other parts before this one... which I assume you have, :)!  
DISCLAIMER: The "Friends" characters belong to NBC. The music used and referred to belongs to Jörgen Elofsson, Per Magnusson & David Kreuger (1st musical mentioning) and Björn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson (2nd musical mentioning). And I assure you, the nationality is purely coincidental... :)!  
  
  
"You what?" Lukas asked, looking from one parent to another before his eyes finally stopped at Monica. "Why?"  
  
"Lots of reasons…" Monica answered. "I… can't… stay right now."  
  
"Why dad?" Lukas asked his father.  
  
"Yeah dad, why?" Max asked.  
  
"Is this about that thing she did four years ago?" Lukas added.  
  
"Yes" Chandler answered. He didn't know how Lukas knew even that much, but he wouldn't deny it. "It's very much about that."  
  
"But how can you tell her to leave for something she did that long ago?" Lukas asked.  
  
"I didn't find out four years ago. I found out this month."  
  
"Found out what, exactly?" Lukas asked. "Is it really so terrible that you have to kick her out?"  
  
"Who said I'm kicking her out?" Chandler asked. "She decided to leave herself."  
  
Monica angrily glared at him. He hadn't had to tell them that. She didn't realize that if he hadn't, he would be the bad guy in the eyes of their children.  
  
*  
  
Chandler walked into the bedroom and saw her packing some clothes in a bag. He got a funny feeling, and was all of a sudden sad. He didn't want her to leave deep down. She had betrayed him but he still loved her very much. He knew that further down the road they would most likely end up divorced, but he didn't feel ready to be separated from her just yet.  
  
She hadn't noticed him yet, and he took the opportunity to take a good look at her. She looked at least five years younger than she really was, partly thanks to her long hair that reached her waist. She almost always kept it down, but right now she had it in a ponytail. She was wearing a blouse and jeans, and he knew that the blouse was bought on their last trip to Jamaica together. They had been there for their honeymoon and then returned every three years for anniversaries. This year they would have gone, but Chandler knew that was out of the question. He had even called earlier in the week and cancelled it. He saw that from her ears hung a pair of earrings he had given her once about seven years ago. She had a look of concentration on her face, a look he knew well. Her face was free from makeup.  
  
She looked so familiar to him. He knew her looks in every part of his mind, he knew exactly what each of her features looked like. Yet still it was like looking at a stranger. A stranger he had shared his life with for such a long time, without even knowing that she was a stranger. He had thought he knew her so well, but now he knew better. He didn't have the slightest idea who she was.  
  
Suddenly she looked up and saw him standing there. She recoiled slightly out of the surprise, then looked away. He was confusing her. When he talked he didn't say much good things about her, but right now he was looking at her and he hadn't stopped when she had noticed him.  
  
"Hi there" she mumbled.  
  
"So where are you moving to?" Chandler asked her.  
  
"I.. don't know really" she replied. "I'm probably gonna stay with Joey for a while until I find a place."  
  
Chandler sniffed.  
  
"Well excuse me!" she said, upset. "I have to stay SOMEWHERE, don't I? And Joey's the only one who'd let me stay."  
  
"Yeah, and in exchange for rent all you'd have to do is get a little naked with him."  
  
"Shut up!" she hissed.  
  
"Don't blame me! And besides, don't move out right this minute if you haven't found a place yet. Nobody's holding a gun to your head."  
  
"Stop confusing me" Monica said. She was getting more and more confused. He almost sounded as if he wanted her to stay.  
  
"I'm not" Chandler replied and crossed his arms. "I'm not exactly eager to go to bed together with you for all of my days, but I'm not that cruel and petty Monica that I would kick you out without you having a place to stay."  
  
"I have a place to stay. Joey's" Monica replied.  
  
"Oh why can't you just admit it, huh?" Chandler asked. "You want to stay with him! You know Ross would take you in! So don't try to pretend that--"  
  
"Ross hasn't returned any of my phone calls for two weeks!" Monica interrupted. "Does that give you a hint, Sherlock?"  
  
"Oh give me a break, Mrs. Melodrama! You're not exactly a woman with no friends. Damn it, your phone book is about the size of the novel that your cheesy love story with Joey would be."  
  
"Well in case Mr. Sharpeyed hasn't noticed, I don't exactly have any left that live in New York!"  
  
"And who's fault is that?"  
  
"Damn it Chandler" Monica muttered and closed the suitcase. "I'm not staying with Joey so that I can sleep with him, I'm staying with him because I have no place else to go!"  
  
"Yes, 'cause getting yourself an apartment is absolutely impossible" Chandler sarcastically said.  
  
"Chandler we're not short on money, but I doubt we can afford paying for both an apartment and the house payments."  
  
"Oh don't you worry about that" Chandler said.  
  
"You really want me out that bad, don't you?"  
  
"You're the one who said you were moving out." He sighed and walked a little closer. "You know, this is getting ridiculous. We're starting to act like children. You don't need to move in with Joey ASAP, you might as well stay here until you find an apartment."  
  
"No. I've talked to Joey, he's expecting me this afternoon."  
  
With that she walked past him to go get another suitcase.  
  
*  
  
"Hello?" Joey said, answering the phone.  
  
"You just couldn't let it go, could you?"  
  
"Chandler?"  
  
"No, Albert Einstein" Chandler sarcastically answered.  
  
"I'm assuming this ain't a forgive and forget call…" Joey said with a sigh.  
  
"No, I am as far from forgiving you as I could be" Chandler said. "And don't think I've called you up to make you change my mind."  
  
"You mind telling me what you're calling me for then?" Joey asked.  
  
"You couldn't help yourself, could you?" Chandler asked, getting angrier by the minute. "I never realized you were so damn jealous of me! But apparently, ruining my life wasn't enough for you. Now you want more!"  
  
"Would you stop beating around the bush and just tell me?" Joey asked, getting a headache.  
  
"You didn't settle for it, you don't settle for anything, do you?" Chandler continued. "Not only did you have to see what I see when I'm with my wife at night, not only did you have to touch what I touch, kiss what I kiss, feel what I feel… No, you had to know what it's been like for me these past years to live with her! You had to have the whole damn thing, didn't you? The whole nine yards! What next, you're gonna try and get my kids?"  
  
"Chandler get a GRIP, this is getting RIDICULOUS!" Joey objected.  
  
"Oh shut the hell up! You know, I just can't--"  
  
Joey sighed and hung up. He wasn't interested. Chandler's new bitterness and anger was so strange, and Joey couldn't for his life understand why it was such a crime to give Monica a roof over her head for a while.  
  
He cursed to himself. He had actually been looking forward to her moving in with him for a while. He was angry with her, but he was more than willing to forget right now. He was so terribly lonely, all of his friends took a distance from him now. She was all he had, and he was looking forward to some company. He wasn't used to being all alone without no one to talk to. And he had lost all urge to go pick up women for the night. And either way he was getting too old for that kind of life now.  
  
He had one big problem now. Another reason why he had been eager to have Monica live with him again was that he was still in love with her. He knew she didn't feel it back, she only had eyes for Chandler, but he really didn't mind at this point. All he wanted was to be near her. But the phone call from Chandler had made him wonder. He knew Chandler far better than Chandler would admit, and he knew that Chandler still loved Monica very much and that he didn't want to loose her. Monica thought that everything was over and that it didn't matter what she said or did, but Joey realized it wasn't true. He also realized that Monica moving in with him would hurt her chances to work things out with Chandler. He sighed and lifted the phone.  
  
*  
  
Monica sighed and put her suitcase down to answer the phone. Chandler and the boys were out in the back, she had to answer it herself. She hurried into Chandler's downstairs office and answered.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Monica? It's Joey."  
  
"Oh hey Joey. I'm leaving in an hour. If that's what you wanna know."  
  
"Actually Mon… I don't think you should."  
  
"You don't think I should what?"  
  
"Move in with me."  
  
Monica's face fell.  
  
"Are you joking?"  
  
"I wish I was… But I'm not."  
  
"Joey we had a deal!"  
  
"What good can come of it? Nothing at all! Go back to your husband Monica, that's where you belong. And if he doesn't want you then come up with a solution on your own. I've caused enough damage."  
  
Monica hung up a few seconds after he did. Then she burst into tears. Now she had no one. At least before she had had Joey on her side, but now she was all by herself.  
  
She didn't hear Chandler entering. He was surprised to see her in his office, but when he saw her by the phone he guessed what had made her go in there. Then he realized that she was crying.  
  
He came close to walking up to her to offer her support. It had been such a deeply rooted instinct in him for so many years now to always cheer her up and comfort her when she was sad, and it was hard to break at this point. But he stopped himself from walking over to her and instead left his office.  
  
*  
  
"So, you still here?" he said later that evening when she showed up for dinner. He had ordered pizza and she sat down opposite Max, grabbing a slice.  
  
"I am until tomorrow" she said. "I spent the afternoon on the phone, trying to get a place. And I lucked out, for once, and managed to get to sublet an apartment from this guy I work with."  
  
"Guy, huh?"  
  
"Just let it go."  
  
*  
  
Monica had a lump in her throat when she went to bed that night. She was sleeping in the bedroom, sine that was the only place where she had a pillow and a blanket. She had packed down the extra blankets and pillows earlier that day.  
  
Chandler was lying quiet next to her, listening to the radio. He didn't have much to say at this point. There was no point in telling her that although he was so angry with her, he would miss her.  
  
"Have a good nights sleep, Mon" he finally said. "Enjoy your last night in this bed. 'Cause you're never gonna sleep in it again."  
  
"What if we get divorced someday?" Monica asked. "Maybe I get the bed."  
  
"Not likely. Remember how my mother mistrusted you before we got married? She had you sign a prenuptial agreement. You're entitled to nothing."  
  
"I get everything that's mine."  
  
"The bed ain't."  
  
"Never mind!" she angrily said and sighed in annoyment. "The very last time…" she added in a whisper.  
  
Chandler heard her and turned his head to look at her. He would never admit it to anyone, especially not her, but he was devastated at this point. He had loved her for too long, he wasn't ready to be without her just yet. He didn't want her to go. But it had been her decision. Hers and not his. She didn't want their marriage. It was strange, he somehow wanted it though he said he didn't. She, on the other hand, said she wanted it but her actions said something else.  
  
She turned her head and met his eyes. They had so many years gone to bed together and looked each other in the eye like this. They had spent so much time together in this very bed, but now it was all over.  
  
Suddenly she couldn't control herself. She quickly moved her head close to his and kissed him. When she felt that he didn't approve yet didn't disapprove she kissed him a little harder and placed her hand on his cheek. She felt his mouth open and how he let her tongue in his mouth.  
  
Without really knowing how it had happened, Chandler found himself being naked with her, kissing and caressing her body, moving further down her stomach. Her hands were caressing his shoulders and she was moaning quietly.  
  
Monica savoured every second of it. She had never expected him to want to do this with her again, and she was well aware of how good he could make her feel. A thousand thoughts ran through her head, and they all lead to the conclusion that things would be okay again. He sure didn't seem mad at her right now.  
  
Chandler was very well aware of what he was doing and whom with. But it didn't matter to him. After all, she was still his wife, and he loved her. And he didn't want her to go. At least not in this moment. I wasn't until a few minutes later when he had just moved inside of her that the realization hit him. She wasn't his exclusively, she had done this very same thing with Joey. A number of times, and while she was married to him, Chandler. Joey had at one point felt the same physical pleasure she was giving him now. He couldn't make himself move as much as a centimetre, he didn't know what he was feeling.  
  
"Chandler?" Monica asked, confused that he had stopped right away. "Honey is something wrong? Why aren't you moving?"  
  
"I can't do this" he said, and rolled off her.  
  
"Can't what? Talk to me, what's going on?"  
  
"You slept with him Monica. I can't change than and I can't get over it. It's no use. Why are you even here with me? You might as well go to him instead."  
  
Monica sat up and leaned against her knees, wrapping her arms around them. She felt offended and abandoned.  
  
"I just… can't make it work" Chandler said. "It's impossible."  
  
"Sure" she whispered, not knowing if she was serious or sarcastic.  
  
"Monica I've gotta ask…" Chandler said, feeling like he was welling up. "When you were with Joey four years ago, did you have feelings for him? Were you in love?"  
  
"Chand--"  
  
"No, don't say anything!" he interrupted her. "Because on second thought I don't want to know. If you weren't in love with him, if you did it only for the sex, then that's so low and so awful that it tears me apart. And if you did feel something for him, if you were in love with him, then I don't think I can handle that!"  
  
Monica could tell from his voice that he had started to cry. His sob a few seconds later confirmed that thought. She laid back down and looked at him.  
  
"I--"  
  
"Just don't say anything, okay? Either answer would be just as awful. I don't want either one. But I'm glad we sort of had sex tonight."  
  
"You are?"  
  
"I've been wondering if it was right to let you move out. If maybe I should try somehow to get over this. Now I know it's useless, I can't even sleep with you so how could I spend the rest of my life with you?"  
  
Monica didn't reply. She turned her head back to look at the ceiling. Chandler turned his attention back to the radio, that was playing a song from the 20th century.  
  
Day after day  
Time pass away  
And I just can't get you off my mind  
Nobody knows  
I hide it inside  
I keep on searching, but I can't find  
The courage to show  
To letting you know  
I've never felt so much love before  
And once again I'm thinking about  
Taking the easy way out.  
  
But if I let you go  
I will never know  
What my life would be  
Holding you close to me  
Will I ever see  
You smiling back at me  
How will I know?  
If I let you go  
  
Night after night  
I hear myself say  
Why can't this feeling just fade away  
There's no one like you  
You speak to my heart  
It's such a shame we're worlds apart  
I'm too shy to ask  
I'm too proud to loose  
But sooner or later  
I've got to choose  
And once again I'm thinking about  
Taking the easy way out  
  
But if I let you go  
I will never know  
What my life would be  
Holding you close to me  
Will I ever see  
You smiling back at me  
How will I know  
If I let you go  
If I let you go  
  
Once again I'm thinking about  
Taking the easy way out  
  
But if I let you go  
I will never know  
What my life would be  
Holding you close to me  
Will I ever see  
You smiling back at me  
How will I know  
If I let you go  
I will never know  
What my life would be  
Holding you close to me  
Will I ever see  
You smiling back at me  
How will I know  
If I let you go  
  
Chandler angrily turned the radio off. He didn't need to listen to songs like that. It raised too many questions in his head.  
  
Was he doing the right thing in letting her go? Or was he just running from his problems, taking the easy way out. On the other hand, he knew that a divorce would in no sense be easy. Not with Lukas and Max in the picture. He didn't want his sons to suffer from a divorce like he had done himself when he was little, and he was determined to keep them safe from that experience. If he divorced Monica he would make sure they got to see both their parents on a regular basis. And he would make sure not to split them up, having one of them live with him and one of them live with Monica.  
  
Monica was still quiet. Her life had been one emotional storm after another the past few weeks, and this day had been the worst one so far. She had argued with Chandler earlier while she had packed, and then she had gotten that phone call from Joey. At that point she hadn't thought her day, or her life, could get any worse. So she had gotten on the phone with people she knew that might be able to help her out with the apartment business, and to her luck a waiter at the restaurant was going away for six months and she could sublet his apartment. And then she and Chandler had first bickered in bed, then started having sex. And now this last comment from Chandler.  
  
She sighed deeply and rolled over on her side. What she wished for more than anything, was that he would roll over and put his arm around her. She desperately wanted him to, though she knew he wouldn't. She was on the brink of tears but she wasn't going to give in to them. She didn't want to give him that satisfaction. This was her last night in this bedroom, in this bed and together with him. She didn't want to give in to him during that last night.  
  
Chandler's tears had stopped falling. He knew what he had said to her five minutes earlier about knowing now that it was for the best that she moved out. But he didn't mean it 100%. He was too unsure to really know what he wanted and what he needed. But one thing was for sure, he would never be able to get the kind of marriage he had once had back.  
  
He realized he was wearing his wrist watch and took it off. He looked at it for a second. She had given it to him for Christmas the same year Max was born, and he had always loved it. And he still did. He wasn't so petty that he thought that everything she had given him was worthless now just because her sense of monogamy was. It was an expensive watch with high quality. But what made him sad now was that he had always thought it was a gift with all her love. But now given the timing, it was more likely a gift with all her guilt. She had given it to him the year she had cheated.  
  
Monica turned and looked at him holding the watch in his hand. She had no idea what he was thinking.  
  
"You really sure?" she asked. "About what you said before?"  
  
"What's done is done Monica" he said. "I can't give you a second chance. Because you had a second chance after the first time you slept with him. You used that second chance when you continued the affair. By now I think you've used about eighteen chances. And I won't give you no more. It's just not worth it."  
  
"You really feel that way, don't you?"  
  
"And the fact that I can't even sleep with you anymore says pretty much" Chandler said. "I wouldn't exactly call it a meant-to-be marriage if the two people aren't even able to have sex without one of them having to stop. When I married you I thought I married a faithful, somewhat conservative woman. Instead you turned out to be a nympho."  
  
"Chandler that's unfair!"  
  
"I thought I struck gold when I found you, I really did!" He looked at her. "But now… The gold turned into sand."  
  
She saw him letting the watch slip from his hand, down on the floor. She understood what he meant by letting it slip from his hand, she knew the song. But unlike him she still had hope that it would get better between them.  
  
"The gold turned into sand" Chandler repeated in a whisper.  
  
  
Please review and tell me what you think! The next part is the last part, and it's gonna take me a while because it's gonna be longer than the previous parts... Any suggestions you might have for it would be very welcome!  



	13. Adultery13

Adultery, Part13  
  
  
INTRODUCTION: The last part of this series. This part is dedicated to Tracey, my best friend online (love ya'!) and to Ashlee, my second-best friend online (say hello to Mr. P for me ;Þ)!  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the "Friends" characters. But nobody thought I did either... And I don't own the song lines referred to in this fic. My wild guess is that they belong to Per Gessle, Jennifer Brown and The Ark (and the nationality is actually a coincidence this time as well), but in reversed order.  
  
  
Monica heard a knock on her door and rose to open. Chandler entered and walked right past her. He turned and looked at her.  
  
"I'd like to make a deal with you."  
  
*  
  
Chandler had been doing a lot of thinking. But for once he hadn't been thinking about his own life and how it would be now after he'd found out about Monica and Joey. He was thinking about Lukas and Max.  
  
Chandler's own parents were divorced, he knew how it affected children. He had been nine when his parents had divorced, the same age as Lukas was now. He had made a promise to himself that when he someday had children he would never put them through a divorce. This was part of his fear of commitment, he didn't want to end up having children with someone that he didn't end up spending his life with. With Monica he had always been sure that they would stay together forever, in his mind they had the perfect relationship to have children in. Little had he known she was capable of cheating on him.  
  
Now he didn't know what to do. He thought about it back and forth, trying to figure out what to do. Then he got an idea and left to find Monica.  
  
*  
  
Monica looked at him, surprised. He hadn't come to visit her in her new apartment even once, she didn't even know he knew where it was. She had moved out a month ago, and had hardly seen him at all during that month. She stopped by at the house everyday to see the boys, but he usually kept away when she did. And now he was here telling her he wanted to make a deal with her.  
  
"What kind of deal?" she asked.  
  
"I've been doing a lot of thinking" Chandler said. "You know, you have no idea what it's like to have your parents divorce. But I do. I know exactly what it's like, and that means I have to worry about what the decisions you and I make are going to do to Luke and Max. Once again I'm the one who has to take the consequence of your action. Me and the boys."  
  
"Maybe you should just get right to the point" Monica suggested and closed the door behind them.  
  
"I'm getting there" Chandler replied. "At first I thought that I should just tell you to move back in and we would continue our marriage as if nothing ever happened. Save the boys the turmoil of a divorce. But then I realized something. What you've done to me has made me look at you differently. I can't get it out of my head, it's all I ever think about when you are near. If you moved back in and we tried to continue our marriage as if nothing ever happened, we would either be forced to pretend or to work things out."  
  
"Isn't working things out what marriage is all about?" Monica asked.  
  
"You are not the person I thought you were. I don't know if you've ever been. Maybe when we got married you were, but you're not anymore. I want to be with the Monica I married, I love that Monica. That's the Monica who would never cheat on me, and who would always be there for me. But look at you now, you are not that Monica. This woman that you are now, she's not someone I would like to be married to."  
  
"It's your own loss if you're so narrow minded that you can't see past my adultery and realize that in every other way I am the exact same Monica you married" Monica replied.  
  
"It's not just about the physical act, Mon!" Chandler objected. "It's about so much more! You said a while ago that trust is more important than monogamy. And I guess you're right, more than half of a relationship is built on trust. But can you honestly say that monogamy and trust don't go hand in hand? I can't trust you, you had sex with my best friend. More times than I can or want to count. I trusted you to never do anything like that, yet you did. I don't trust you anymore. You've taken away like 75% of what our marriage was built on! What's left is love and passion. And what use do we have of passion when I can't even sleep with you?"  
  
"I think you're wrong" Monica said. "Trust is not what more than half of a relationship is based on. LOVE is what it's based on more than anything!"  
  
"I love you still" Chandler said. "But it doesn't matter now. What am I supposed to do, Mon? You tell me! I can't trust you anymore, I can't have sex with you anymore and I know you're not mine exclusively anymore! I used to have this unlimited love for you, but now it's all of a sudden limited. I love you still, but not as much as I once did."  
  
"Maybe you ought to just tell me what your deal is" Monica said. "You said you came here to make a deal with me."  
  
"Yes" Chandler said. "The point of what I've just been saying is this; we can't work this out between us because too much has been ruined. And if we spend the rest of our lives together and I have to pretend each day that things are a-okay, I would break down. Maybe not on the outside, but I would sure as hell be a lot less happy than I could be! And to be honest, I think that would be worse for our sons than a divorce. Kids are smart Mon, they can tell when things aren't all right between their parents. I don't want to take this to the point where they feel that it's just as good that we split up because things were so awful before we did!"  
  
"So in other words you're here for a divorce" Monica said.  
  
"No" Chandler said. "I'm here for Lukas and Max's sake. I want you to move back to the house. Not to our bedroom, but to the house. So they can at least have both their parents even if the parents aren't together. We can remake one of my offices to a bedroom or something for you. And then we can take our time deciding about our marriage."  
  
"Chandler don't you see that you're just running?" Monica said. "We both know that you're not gonna take me back as your wife. Our marriage is over. Why not end it right now?"  
  
"Then file for divorce if that's what you want" Chandler said. "Just let me know weather or not you'll be moving back."  
  
"I'll be back by the end of the month" Monica said.  
  
Chandler nodded. Then left.  
  
*  
  
"So how are things going now?" Rachel asked two months later, sitting down opposite Chandler at the kitchen table. She put her coffee cup down and leaned a bit forward over the table.  
  
"Let's just call it cease fire" Chandler answered. "Monica's sleeping in my former upstairs office, we have dinner and stuff like that together with the boys, family style. We never talk about our relationship."  
  
"I don't understand why you let her move back in in the first place" Rachel said. "I mean, if Nigel did anything like this to me…"  
  
"I know Rach. But you and Nigel don't have any children. You know as well as I do what it's like when parents divorce and I want to spare my sons of that."  
  
"Chandler. You and I have been friends for so long now, and I know you! She's your Achilles heel. When it comes to Mon you can't really hide your feelings. And I know you're hurting, but something tells me that you let her move back for your own sake as well as for the boys…"  
  
"It's just…" Chandler said, then sighed. "I've lived with her for so long. I'm used to having her around. I don't think I'm ready just yet to not live with her. We've been together for so many years and only one of them did we not live together."  
  
"But it's more than that" Rachel said. "Won't you tell me?"  
  
Chandler sighed.  
  
"I guess I can't deny… that I love her. I do. But the thing is, at the same time I feel so empty! You know? My feelings for her, they're still strong, but it's…"  
  
"It's what?"  
  
"I just can't forgive her. I can't. How could I? She had sex with someone else, and to top it all off it was my best friend, Rachel! It disgusts me!"  
  
"I know" Rachel said. "I feel that way too. I mean, she's been my best friend longer than she's been your wife, but it feels like I never knew her. Because I never thought she was able to cheat on someone she loved with that person's best friend. I just can't get over it. She already had YOU, why did she have to…" Rachel stopped herself. Phoebe had confided in her about her feelings for Joey, but Rachel knew that Phoebe didn't want anyone else to find out.  
  
"She had us all fooled…" Chandler said. "You know, at first I only felt sorry for myself. And I felt VERY sorry for myself. But now I feel sorry for THEM. For the boys. She had no right tearing their family apart."  
  
"Chandler maybe you should be thinking more about yourself than about Max and Lukas" Rachel suggested. "Think about it… If you stay with Monica for their sake only, don't you think you'll end up being miserable? And we both know that you'd be stuck with her for life! I mean look what my parents' divorce did to me, and I was in my late twenties! Lukas and Max will know you're not happy. And that would make them unhappy."  
  
"Rach, in that case they'll be unhappy no matter what I do."  
  
"If divorcing Monica allows you to be happy, then the boys will be happy for you in the end."  
  
"But what if staying married will keep Monica happy, and divorcing will make her miserable? Won't the boys be able to tell that too?"  
  
"Even if, think about yourself first. Your happiness or hers? She's not worth you worrying about her like that. She's not worth you."  
  
"Rach that might be true… But you know something? I care about her no matter what happens. She's my wife, Rachel! I've loved her for so long!"  
  
"When you look at her, what do you feel?" Rachel asked.  
  
"I feel empty" Chandler said.  
  
"Then that's your answer" Rachel said.  
  
"I'm not sure, Rach!" Chandler said. "Because… It's just… I don't feel empty because I've got no emotions for her. I feel empty because…"  
  
"Because?"  
  
"Because I hate her too much to love her… and I love her too much to hate her."  
  
*  
  
Monica hung a mistletoe in the doorframe to the living room. It was early December, but she wanted to have the Christmas decoration taken care of right away. She knew Chandler would complain but she didn't care. She was hoping to be able to avoid him. Lukas, who had turned ten three months earlier, had a week off from school and Chandler's mother had taken him and Max, who was now four, with her to Los Angeles for that week. This was both good and bad for Monica. It was good in the sense that she didn't have to eat dinner with Chandler or do anything else family like with him like she had to do when the boys were home. The bad thing was that when the boys weren't around he could say pretty much anything he wanted to her.  
  
When she had moved back he had avoided her, but gradually he had stopped trying to avoid her. And when he was around her he wasn't nice. Sometimes he said things to her, not out of spite but out of anger. He often accused her of destroying their family and forcing him to put his sons through what he had been through himself when his parents had divorced. Yet he never actually went through with a divorce. But it was as if he was phasing her out, he made sure that whenever Max or Lukas needed some parental help they would come to him and not her. She was starting to feel like a maid or a nanny or something.  
  
She heard him enter together with Bill, and she hoped they would go into his office and discuss their new client. Bill had no idea what was going on between them, Chandler had thought he had enough problems with his own wife, now ex-wife. Monica felt awkward whenever Bill was around, somehow she felt like she had to pretend like everything was normal even though Chandler didn't bother too much to pretend that they were just fine.  
  
Bill and Chandler entered the living room and she saw the look of confusion in Chandler's face.  
  
"Since when do we start with decorations before a week in advance?" he asked.  
  
"I was bored. Thought I might as well. And it's easier to do without Max and Lukas running around, wanting to help out."  
  
"So Santa's little helpers couldn't help out this year?" Bill asked with a smile. "Hi there Monica! How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine thanks. How are you?"  
  
"Oh I'm fine. Although since it's my first Christmas as a divorcee it does feel kind of strange."  
  
Monica gave him a half hearted smile and the two men went into the office. She sighed and hung up another mistletoe. She felt torn. She wasn't really married, yet she wasn't going through a divorce. And she wasn't separated. She was married, living with her husband, yet somehow she was single. And her husband was starting to avoid her again. Not like he had before, but he left every evening and didn't come home until ten or eleven. Sometimes Rachel came and picked him up but mostly he left on his own. She was curious about what he was doing, but she knew it was none of her business anymore.  
  
She sat down on the couch. She was in a constant depression these days, and now that Christmas was coming she felt worse than usual. Every now and then Chandler would say something about loving her still. She knew that he did, but he was having great problems getting past what she had once done to him. She lived for the times when he said that he loved her, but it saddened her that almost every time it was followed by a comment about how she wasn't who he'd thought she was, or a comment about how his love for her now was nowhere near what it had been once.  
  
She still loved him with all her heart. He wasn't being fair to her, but she couldn't blame him. He had his reasons. Sometimes though she thought about leaving him. Sometimes when he had said or done something that had hurt her deeply, she would think about being the one who filed for divorce. But she knew she couldn't. She didn't want to loose him. She knew she already had, but a divorce would make it all final.  
  
She had never expected him to react this way when she told him. She knew he would be hurt, but she had somehow thought that he would let it be water under the bridge. She had believed they could work it out. She knew how crazy he was about her and she had believed that he would be able to forgive her, that somehow she would mean enough to him to make him want to fight for her. But she hadn't realized how much he hated adultery. Both Kathy and Janice had cheated on him and she had been there to see how hard he had taken it. And she'd known how much he'd feared commitment. He had been afraid to commit himself to a woman who would turn out treating him bad or cheating. And Monica had done both. But she wanted him back. She kept hoping he would come around and realize that he was all she wanted.  
  
*  
  
That night Chandler yawned big and walked up the stairs, having closed all the lights downstairs. He was tired after a long day of work and another argument with Monica once Bill had left. He knew he wasn't always being fair to her, but he didn't know what to do with his anger and hurt. He was determined to never take it out on his sons, instead he let Monica take the blow. And she was responsible for it all, so he didn't really feel bad about it. But he did feel pained sometimes when he saw that something he said really hurt her.  
  
The phone rang as he entered the bedroom, and he answered it. It was Lukas, talking excitedly about how grandma Bing had taken them to Disneyland the day before. Chandler felt better when he talked to his older son. He could tell the kids were happy, and it made him happy as well. He was constantly worrying that his and Monica's situation would hurt the boys, but from the sound of it they were having a great time.  
  
After talking with his sons and with his mother he hung up. He rose to go over to Monica's room to tell her that they had called and that they were having a good time. And that they said Hi to her. He wasn't so petty that he would keep her in the dark when it came to their sons. They were just as much her children as his.  
  
He knocked on her door and entered. He frowned when he saw her. She was in bed, curled up with her knees up by her chin and he could see that her cheeks were wet. He sighed to himself and tried not to get annoyed. What was she crying about this time?  
  
Monica heard him enter but didn't bother to open her eyes at first. Her stomach was killing her, it was aching so much that she had nearly past out when it started. After a few seconds she opened her eyes and met his. He was looking annoyed.  
  
"Chandler" she said in a low, pained voice.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning deeper. "That was the boys. On the phone. They said hi. They're having a great time."  
  
"Chandler help me please" she said.  
  
"With what? What's going on here?" he asked.  
  
"It's my stomach…"  
  
*  
  
He wasn't there when she woke up. She felt sad about it. She had somehow hoped he would sit by her side until she woke up. She hadn't been in a hospital bed since Max was born and she felt lonely and slightly scared. To her left there was a curtain. She could hear someone cough on the other side. She felt thirsty.  
  
A doctor entered and first spoke with the person on the other side. She couldn't hear much of what he was saying. Then he came over to her to talk to her.  
  
*  
  
After over an hour Chandler entered, sipping from a large glass of orange juice. Monica felt even more thirsty, but she knew she probably wasn't allowed to drink anything.  
  
"Hi" she said, feeling both happy he was there and mad.  
  
"Hey" he said. He put the orange juice down on the nightstand and grabbed a chair. He sat down by the nightstand and looked slightly worried. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Thirsty. And generally lousy."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Oh sure you are" she said sarcastically.  
  
"What? Mon I'm serious. Of course I'm sorry, I don't exactly wish you physical harm!"  
  
"I'm in this bed in the first place thanks to you!" she angrily said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have a gastric ulcer, and it's thanks to you!"  
  
"You're out of your mind" Chandler said. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."  
  
"Oh you should" Monica said, feeling like she was gonna start crying soon. "Now for once you are gonna listen to me! Ever since the night I told you about me and Joey, you have treated me very bad! I'm not saying I don't deserve some of the things you've said, but the way you've been acting towards me has made me end up here!"  
  
"Monica--"  
  
"No you don't talk, you LISTEN!" Monica said, cutting him off. "I have a few things to say to you, Chandler Bing! I know what I did was wrong! I KNOW! But you have no right to treat me like you have! I've been telling myself that you have the right, but when your behaviour towards me puts me in a hospital then it's too much!"  
  
"Oh for Crissake, it's not like I beat you up and that's why you're here!" Chandler angrily said.  
  
"No, but the psychological pressure you've been putting on me has made me end up here!"  
  
"I've heard enough, I'm leaving!" Chandler said and rose.  
  
"Like hell you are!"  
  
"Oh yes I am!" Chandler said. "I don't feel like taking a stroll down ethics lane with YOU! Who was it that got us in to this whole mess in the first place?"  
  
"Yes I know that it was me! But you sit down and listen to what I have to say!"  
  
Chandler reluctantly sat down again and shot her an evil glare.  
  
"This should be fun" he said.  
  
She made a face at him and felt like throwing his glass of orange juice at him.  
  
"What kind of a woman do you take me for?" she asked instead. "You never shut up about how I'm not the woman you thought I was. Well I have news for you mister, I've been doing so much thinking ever since I told you the truth, and now I know for sure. I may not be the woman you thought I was, but I am not the kind of woman who would cheat on you just because I had nothing better to do! Do you think YOU had nothing to do with this whole thing?"  
  
"Oh so now it's MY fault?" Chandler asked. "Yes, you know what, now that you mention it it's all coming back to me! Yeah, how I stood with a whip and forced you two to do it with each other!" he added sarcastically.  
  
"No the actual act was me. But do you really think I would have cheated if I had been perfectly happy and content with you?"  
  
"Let me get this straight, first you say you've cheated and now you say I'm a bad husband? How about not throwing stones in a glass house?"  
  
"Chandler our sex life back then was downright boring. It was good and all, but you never did anything new with me. I mean I could clock you for crying out loud, first you would kiss me for around five minutes, then start to take my clothes off, then spend three and a half minutes on each breast. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."  
  
"Oh you're so full of shit!" Chandler objected angrily. "I seem to remember that I tried my best to keep you happy in bed! I suggested fantasies we could live out, new positions! And you were the one who then told me to stop!"  
  
"Chandler by that time it was already too late, Joey and I were already having our affair."  
  
"Be that as it may, if what you just told me was the real reason, you would have ended it with Joey once I started giving you your variety in bed!"  
  
"It wasn't just about that Chandler!" Monica said. "You were working a lot, and when we were together you were loving, sure, but… I really felt like I was being taken for granted. You used to buy me flowers every now and then, but all of a sudden you stopped with that. You used to take me out to dinner at least once a month after we had Lukas but now you stopped with that as well. And I felt like I needed to know that someone else could be turned on by me! That someone else found me attractive and wanted to have sex with me. That I could please someone else in bed."  
  
"And how on earth was I supposed to prevent you from feeling like THAT?" Chandler asked.  
  
"I wouldn't have started feeling like that in the first place if I hadn't felt like I was being taken for granted!"  
  
"Well of COURSE I took you for granted!" Chandler said, getting more annoyed. "You stood in front of a priest and vowed to be mine forever! To forsake all others! At least in my world that meant that you would be only mine and that I wouldn't have to worry about someone else taking you from me! And why JOEY, Monica?"  
  
"Because I needed more than just a one night stand with a stranger! I kept thinking about when you and I had just been FF and how that time of my life had been so much more exciting than it was the year before Max was born! I wanted that thrill again, Chandler! I wanted that thrill and I wanted to get to feel ALIVE again! And as I said, to feel needed, attractive and that I could please someone else than you in bed!"  
  
"These are just petty excuses" Chandler said.  
  
"Well not to me!" Monica objected. "Because I was the one feeling like that!"  
  
"I'm the one feeling like I have ever since I found out the truth about my dear little wifey so don't come crying to me about how mean I've been and how it's all my fault that you're lying in this bed today!" Chandler angrily said.  
  
"Chandler would you just try to LISTEN?" Monica asked in frustration. "Look, I don't even remember now how I ended up in bed with Joey in the first place. But I know that I let it happen because of all those things that I needed. And I let it continue because I wanted that thrill, the one I had had when you and I first started going out. But you know what I found out Chandler?"  
  
"That sometimes your actions come back to haunt you years later and you end up with a gastric ulcer?" Chandler sarcastically said.  
  
"I learned something valuable about you and I! During this whole thing when I was feeling like that, right before I slept with Joey, I started wondering if you and I were meant for each other or if nothing would have ever happened between us if it hadn't been for the London thing and what followed that. And I wondered if it was YOU or if I could have ended up married to some other friend that I'd had a one night stand with and later continued dating."  
  
"And there was good old Joey to the rescue" Chandler sarcastically said.  
  
"Well you wanna know what I realized?" Monica asked. "You and I are unique Chandler. It hadn't just been about the two of us having sex and gradually falling in love. Because if that were the case I would have fallen in love with Joey and I never did. All I wanted was you. It was YOU that made it last in the first place when we got together. If it had been some other guy I would never have ended up married to him. And what I have with you is one of a kind."  
  
"It might have been, until you let Joey experience the same thing as you let me."  
  
"Look Chandler you could have prevented me from sleeping with him! I'm not saying that I blame you for the whole thing, but you started taking me for granted and you started neglecting me sometimes. I don't know why, because once I got pregnant you were just like you'd been in the beginning! All I'm saying is that the cheating was my fault but you're not free of blame either."  
  
Chandler rose to his feet.  
  
"I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you tell me that I was partly to blame for the most disgusting thing that has ever happened in my life." His voice was trembling as he spoke. "I may not have been the most attentive husband for a while but you had all of my love, trust, hopes and my future. You knew that. And you also knew that you could talk to me. There are better solutions than to jump into someone else's bed."  
  
"You say you love me still" Monica said. "Well I love you. As long as we're in love we can make this stick. Yes I slept with him, but you're the one I want. It was over five years ago, Chandler! Five years! Have I been a bad wife since I got pregnant with Max?"  
  
"Yes you have" Chandler said. "Because I had a right to know. You tricked me. You lied to me. You let me live a lie for four years, you let me believe I was in a happy, sane and healthy marriage."  
  
"But you don't have to freak out like you have."  
  
"In situations like this Mon, it takes a fool to remain sane" Chandler replied, quoting The Ark.  
  
"Look, the issue here is simple. We can make our marriage work and you know it. We can work through this. You haven't been doing it right Chandler! The right way is NOT to shut me out and to take out all your anger on me! The right way is to work though this WITH me! You go on and on about trust, but as long as there's love left we can make it! Jennifer Brown once sang that love finds a way when somebody cares enough to hold on."  
  
"Get better" Chandler said, referring to her medical condition, and left.  
  
Monica closed her eyes. She felt too exhausted to cry. She hated it when he just abruptly left like that. He didn't give her a yes or a no, he just took off leaving her to guess. She knew he most likely meant a no, but she couldn't give up on him. She knew what she wanted, and it was him. She was more determined now. She was going to let him know that she was not giving up without a fight. And she was going to do her best to convince him that he needed her by his side to get it straight. And if she failed, she was going to ask him to divorce her.  
  
*  
  
Joey opened the door, surprised to find Chandler on the other side. He'd thought he'd never see him again. What was even more surprising is that he didn't seem angry.  
  
"Hi" Joey said, confused.  
  
"Are you gonna let me in?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure!" Joey said, and let him in. "Why are you here?"  
  
"I just… I don't know…" Chandler said and walked into the living room of the apartment where he had lived until he'd moved in with Monica. "I just saw Monica, she's in the hospital and--"  
  
"Is she gonna be all right?" Joey asked, sounding scared.  
  
"Yeah, nothing life threatening" Chandler said and turned to face his former friend. "I just feel like I have to get closure with all this. It's driving me insane, it's eating me up from the inside! I go to sleep every night and I see and hear you talking about how you love her, and I see and hear her telling me she had an affair with you. And when I dream, I see you two together in bed, having sex. You have no idea what that feels like."  
  
"You're right, I don't" Joey said. "But I have had to deal with the fact that I'm in love with her and she's been making love to you."  
  
"She and I making love was RIGHT. You and her having sex was WRONG."  
  
"Came here to tell me that?" Joey asked.  
  
"No" Chandler said. He sighed deeply and felt like he could start crying. "Do you have any idea how damn much I've missed you?" he asked. "You were my best friend. That's why this all hurts so damn much that sometimes I just wish I was dead! I didn't just loose the woman I don't want to live without, I lost my best fiend in the same second!"  
  
"I never did anything to hurt you, Chandler" Joey said. "You have to believe me. I love you, you're like a brother to me. I know it sounds odd, but it's true! Monica and I had a pact to never let you find out because we didn't want you to go through what you're going through now. And I was furious with her when she decided on her own to tell you."  
  
"Well it sure was better before I found out" Chandler said, looking down on his hands as a tear fell down his cheek. "But at least now it's right. I know what kind of people you are. And I hate myself for it but I don't want to let her go! We still live together, but in separate bedrooms, and the reason I gave her was that it was best for the boys but the truth is that I can't handle loosing her! And it's killing me, I hate myself for it, and so I take it all out on her! I've managed to repress the way I feel, but now it's harder. I don't know if it's the holidays or… I've sort of just felt empty around her, too much love and too much hate collided. I can't hate someone I love so much, but yet I do now, and it's too much for me. So I just feel empty."  
  
"Chandler listen to me…" Joey said. "Monica and I have gotten our punishment. We've had to stand there and see you fall apart because of this. We've lost all our friends. Ross won't talk to me, Rachel doesn't return my calls and Phoebe's too heartbroken, she had this crush on me! I'm all alone Chandler, I have no one! I'm celebrating Christmas here all by myself, when usually I've had all of you with me. And Monica doesn't have it easy either. I know how Rachel and Ross feel about this whole thing, they feel betrayed and god knows what else! They don't talk to her unless they have to. And Phoebe more or less hates her because she seems to think Monica stole me away from her. And if you and Monica still live together she has to face every day what she has done to you. And she has to take the blame for ripping her children's family apart and all of that! Chandler you've got a rough time now but damn it so do we!"  
  
"But Joey you brought this all on yourselves" Chandler said, looking up at him. "But what did I ever do to you? Monica's said a bunch of stuff about how I wasn't fulfilling her needs, but why did YOU do this? What could I possibly have done to you that made me deserve this?"  
  
"You did nothing" Joey said. "I was just too weak to resist…"  
  
"Joey you may love her…" Chandler said, his voice trembling as he started to cry for real. "But you have no idea how deep my love for her goes. She's been the reason I've gotten up in the morning, the reason I've been happy, the reason my life has been good! She has been my soulmate and it's VERY hard to all of a sudden have to do without that."  
  
"Then don't…" Joey said. "The ball is in your court. She loves you. If you give her half a chance she's gonna do anything she can to save your marriage. Trust me Chandler."  
  
Chandler walked over and gave him a loose hug, then he left. Joey watched him go and wondered if he'd ever get to see him again. Chandler had said he missed him, but not as much as Joey missed Chandler.  
  
*  
  
It was New Years Eve. Chandler and Monica had decided to throw a party to avoid the night turning into a sad and bitter event. They wanted their children to have a good time. They had invited five couples they knew, plus their old friends from the gang. Including Joey.  
  
It was two hours left of the year that they would all just like to forget about. Monica had asked Chandler to dance, and he had agreed. The song was Roxette's "Anyone" and in spite of what the song was about there was no tension between them.  
  
Monica rested her head against his shoulder and wondered what the next year would have in stall for them. Would they get back together or would they divorce? Not until afterwards did she realize that she had asked the question out loud.  
  
Chandler was quiet for a second, then he answered her.  
  
"Monica I'm… seeing someone… somebody else."  
  
When he said it Monica didn't want to believe it. She felt the devastation run through her, she felt like her knees would fold under her. Then she realized how logical it all was. He had been away each evening, sometimes coming home real late. Of course he was seeing somebody else.  
  
She couldn't stay in his arms one more second. She broke free and left the living room. She didn't want to seem like she was in a hurry, but once she reached the stairs she started running, covering her mouth with her hand. A few tears fell down her cheeks. She hurried to her bedroom but found a couple she knew making out on her bed, so she turned and hurried toward the bedroom that had been hers and Chandler's. Right outside the bedroom she ran right into Chandler, who had followed her. She pushed him aside and went into the bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Monica…" he said, following her inside and shutting the door.  
  
"You couldn't at least have filed for divorce?" she whispered, feeling very hurt. "How could you move on to somebody else and yet keeping me as your wife?"  
  
"I dunno" Chandler said, shrugging his shoulders. He was quiet for a second. "Her name is Maria. I met her through work about two months ago. I don't know if she's a rebound for me but weather or not she is I need it."  
  
Monica nodded and felt more tears fall down her cheeks.  
  
"Monica whatever you are feeling now it is nothing compared to what I feel and have felt ever since I found out about Joey and you."  
  
"I know that" Monica whispered, trying to hold back a sob. "But it hurts anyway."  
  
"I'm not dating Maria to get back at you" Chandler said.  
  
"But you should have told me" Monica said. "It's cruel to let me hope that something might happen between us again when you're already with somebody else!"  
  
"Was it more right of you to let me think our marriage was solid for four years, when YOU had had somebody else?"  
  
"I don't know" Monica sobbed. "Just leave me alone Chandler! Just go! You've got what you've wanted, I'm officially a mess, can't you leave it at that?"  
  
"Like I said a minute ago, I am not dating her to get back at you."  
  
"Can't you just make this pain shorter than it has to be?" Monica asked. "Can't you just file for divorce and it will all be over? I will never stop loving you, but if the only way I can prove that to you is by letting you go then I will. But just so you know, I am going to love you until the day that I die Chandler, even if you don't love me anymore. But just let me love you on my own, don't keep me trapped when you don't want this marriage."  
  
"It's hard to let go" Chandler said. "So many years of my life…"  
  
"It's over when it's over" Monica said. "We just danced to that very line."  
  
"Yeah I know" Chandler said. "But it's still hard to admit it to yourself."  
  
"I didn't want it to be over" Monica said between two sobs. "But Chandler I am begging you, if you don't see a future for our marriage then just let me go! Don't let me nurture false hope anymore. I guess I've finally realized that I've LOST you, and that realization hurts! Let's just get this over with, let's just end our marriage okay?"  
  
"Oh Monica I'm just not sure…" Chandler said with a sigh. "There's a part of me that wants us again. I'm just so unsure…"  
  
"Make up your mind fast" Monica said and did her best to dry her tears. "Or there won't be much left of me to start over again. I feel like I'm dying inside from all of this…"  
  
Chandler nodded. He walked over to her and hugged her.  
  
"Just don't cry anymore, okay?" he whispered.  
  
"I'm sorry" she said, apologizing.  
  
"Monica there's something I want you to know" he whispered. "At this point there's just one thing I feel I know for sure… Whatever I decide to do, divorce or give it another shot, I'm gonna end up regretting it."  
  
"You have to make up your mind" Monica said.  
  
*  
  
They didn't speak again until nearly two hours later. They had just been quiet, each one lost in thoughts. Monica had remained on the side of the bed, Chandler had sat down by the head of the bed.  
  
Monica glanced at the alarm clock.  
  
"Midnight's in just five minutes" she said.  
  
"Yeah" he replied, not really knowing what else to say. He scooted down and sat next to her again.  
  
"So… What's the verdict?" she asked.  
  
"This is not a decision you make in just two hours" Chandler said.  
  
"You've had from the moment you first found out about Joey and me" Monica gently pointed out.  
  
"Like I said earlier Monica. Whatever I decide to do I know I'll regret it."  
  
"I don't know what to think of that."  
  
"Which makes two of us."  
  
"Well then…" Monica said. "I guess it's just a matter of which decision you'd regret more. I can promise you one thing, right here, right now, I am never going to cheat on you again. Not ever. Once I have you again, if I do ever have you again, I'll never want anybody else. You know, I look at you and I still well up with love like I did when we were newlyweds. And I look at Max and Lukas and I love them so much not only because they're my sons but because I see the two of us in them. And Max, he's like a little version of you. He barely looks like me at all. And I have always loved him enormously for that."  
  
"I want to feel like that when I look at you" Chandler said. "But there's something standing in the way. Something you know what it is. Whenever that kind of love comes over me it's always followed by the hurt you're putting me through. I know I said just a few seconds ago that I want to feel that way when I look at you but that's actually a lie. I don't want to feel that love. Not at all. Because I know what a horrible feeling that follows."  
  
"I would do anything if I could take it away" Monica said. "Honest! But I can't. Why can't you just give us a chance Chandler? Give our love a chance! It will probably never be like it's been, but that doesn't mean it can't be good."  
  
"And what about Maria?" Chandler asked.  
  
Monica closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. She didn't want to hear about Maria. But she knew that the words she wanted to hear out of Chandler's mouth would never come. She would never ever get to hear him say that he forgives her.  
  
*  
  
"Where's Chandler?" Ross asked Rachel in the living room.  
  
"I don't know" Rachel answered. "Last time I saw him he was heading upstairs."  
  
"Upstairs?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh great!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm pretty sure I saw Monica running upstairs about two hours ago" Ross said. "I sure hope he didn't go after her."  
  
"Come on Ross, why would he?" Rachel pointed out. "No matter how mad we are at her for her lies and deceptions, it's nothing compared to what she did to Chandler!"  
  
"I know… But I also know Chandler. He might try to make things work between them again for their sons' sake."  
  
"Wouldn't that be a good thing?" Rachel asked. "I mean, after all, a divorce is not nice Ross. If they can make it work and spare Lukas and Max I think it's good."  
  
"Well I don't" Ross said. "Look, she's my sister and I kinda' have to love her, but what she did to him was unforgivable. And she'll only make him miserable if they stay together. She's burned her bridges. Chandler won't be able to get over what she did, Rachel. It will just haunt him and drive him crazy. It's better for them to just part now, when they at least on some level still are friends. THAT'S what's best for Lukas and Max."  
  
*  
  
Monica glanced at the clock again. Two minutes till midnight. They had started this year together and now they were most likely going to end it apart. But at least he was there with her. At least she got to see and talk to him.  
  
"This is just such a dead end" Chandler muttered.  
  
"I don't want to hear that no matter what you choose you'll end up being miserable" Monica said, slightly annoyed. "You have two options, no more than that, and you know it. Do whatever you want to do, but make up your mind fast so that I can either go on with my life or work with you on saving our marriage."  
  
"It's not easy, Monica!"  
  
"I know it's not, but don't make it any harder than it has to be!"  
  
"Well it will be hard Mon. That's something we pretty much can't avoid."  
  
"Chandler please…" Monica said, her voice trembling. "I'm begging you, don't drag this out. If it doesn't really matter to your happiness if you stay with me or not then just toss a coin about it or something! Write down your two options on two napkins and then pick one! Do whatever you have to do but please do it soon! And then stick to your decision. Don't tell me you're divorcing me and then change your mind and don't tell me that you want to work on this, on us, and then give up without a fight. Please work on this with me Chandler! Please! Don't you want to know if we could have made it?"  
  
"The fact that we're here tonight in this situation makes me unwilling to find out" Chandler answered. "This relationship has given me the best things I've ever had in life but it has also given me the worst. People are not supposed to feel like this in a marriage."  
  
"Don't give up on me" Monica said.  
  
Chandler sighed deeply. He glanced at the clock. It was less than a minute left. Anytime soon they would start the countdown downstairs. He reached into his pocked and took out a coin.  
  
"Call it" he said. "If what you call comes up, I'm giving us another chance. If not it all ends here."  
  
He heard the countdown starting from downstairs.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do it like this?"  
  
The coir of voices from downstairs had reached six.  
  
"Positive. Now call it."  
  
"Tails" Monica said.  
  
Chandler tossed the coin.  
  
  
  
The end. It's finito. Over. No more. Lol. Review and tell me your thoughts. You can also e-mail me if you have any questions or comments (you can find my address by clicking on my name next to the fic in the fic list). Please stay tuned for my next series... :)!  



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